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She was slightly intimidated, to be honest. To see his entire body. If she saw him, and then he saw her, and he decided that she really wasn’t beautiful enough, well, then she might die.
She didn’t want this to be fatal. Of all the things.
He let out a long, unsteady breath and brought himself down onto the bed, over her, propped up on his hands. “You’re beautiful,” he said, his eyes never leaving hers.
It was the honesty there. That was what undid her. Absolutely and completely.
“So are you,” she said, wishing that her voice sounded stronger. Wishing that she felt stronger. But she was painfully aware of the gulf in their experience. Of the fact that what lay ahead for her was unknown. When this was a dance that he knew the steps to, and well.
It was his smile that eased her fears. Because it was the smile of her friend. Not someone different. Not the dangerous man she had only recently identified him to be. He was both, in the moment. Because this was certainly dangerous, and he was certainly far beyond her imagination. But he was also Lachlan. Her Lachlan.
It was just nice to know that he could be both.
He kissed her again. She loved when he did that. And this time he put his hand between her thighs, where she was wet with the evidence of her desire for him, but she wasn’t embarrassed by it. It felt so good. The way that he rubbed his thumb over that sensitized bundle of nerves there. It was like a flame, white-hot, and scorchingly pleasurable. She found herself moving her hips in time with his touch as he continued to kiss her.
She really liked to be kissed.
Her whole body was alive with sensation that she had done her best to ignore for all of her life, and it was like she was now a starving person at a feast. She loved it all. Was obsessed with it all. Wanted it all.
She let him tease her, touch her, until she was on the verge again. On the verge of that wonderful, glorious feeling that had burst through her only a few minutes before.
Her inhibition was gone. Lost. And when he kissed his way down her neck, over her breasts, down her stomach into the center of her thighs, she couldn’t even protest. Couldn’t even muster up a moment of shock, as his tongue replaced his wicked finger and the warm, slick glide shattered her. She clutched his shoulders as she gave in to another release. She was almost embarrassed by that. That it was so easy for him to do this to her.
But she had a lot of need built up.
So she supposed there was really nothing to be ashamed about.
He kissed his way back up her body, putting his hands between her legs again, and this time he put a finger inside her. The invasion was foreign, unfamiliar, and she shifted, acclimating to it. It was what she wanted, what her body was hungry for, but at the same time it was untested. Untried.
He added a second finger, stretching her gently, and she knew that he was doing his best to prepare her for what was to come.
Though judging by the aggressive outline in his jeans, this wasn’t going to ease all of the discomfort that would come with her first time.
First time.
Virgin.
She’d really never thought of herself that way.
But she did now. A virgin in the arms of her best friend.
She was about to let him change that.
She wanted him to change that.
This was her decision. Though it felt like something much deeper than a simple choice.
It was beyond that. More elemental. More of aneed.
An inevitability, even. Something she couldn’t turn back from, even if she wanted to.
He pushed himself away from her, unbuckled his jeans as he kicked his boots off, pushed his pants and underwear down, and she saw him fully for the first time.
The ache at the center of her thighs intensified. He was so beautiful. A work of art. She had nothing to compare him to, but she didn’t need to. Because she wanted him. Lachlan.
She knew beyond a shadow of a doubt this wasn’t just about wanting sex, because if it had been... She had been engaged to the same man for a long time, and she had never been sorry over his desire for them to remain celibate. She had respected his convictions. She still did.
It was just he had nothing to do with this. With this moment.
