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TWENTY ONE
Mel
Jarra looks so excited when the door to the elevator opens and I step back into his apartment later that night. I brush a hand anxiously over the jumper dress I’m wearing. It’s nothing like I’d wear if he had made a booking, but tonight it’s just us. Just two people—or one person and one monster—being real with each other. I’m excited, nervous. Giddy, like I was after my first kiss or the first time I snuck out to meet my high school boyfriend after my parents were asleep.
Only, I can’t help feeling a little bit sad Jarra might not want me to boss him around anymore. I kinda like it!
“You look good.” He makes sure to look me up and down and let his appreciation be known and I smile and, yeah, I give my step a little strut as I walk past him to put down my bag. This dress is short and worn with long socks, it makes me feel so good about my legs and butt and I can’t help wanting him to look. Besides, I know he likes the way I look. Hard to believe, but true.
“Can I get you anything? Wine? Cheese? Popcorn?”
He invited me over to watch a movie with him and I feel like he nailed my ideal date. I grin. “Yes. All of the above!”
He gets the things and sets them on a tray and puts on the TV. Then he sits in the enormous sofa chair stretches back with the remote in his hand and gives me a smile.
“Should I come sit with you?”
“Of course.” He pats the chair beside him. Despite it being big enough for about four adults, I snuggle in next to him. Only, I don’t know what to do with my hands. I fold them in my lap for a while. When I reach for my wine, it’s too far away.
Jarra sets down the remote and looks at me. “You seem different. Is everything OK?”
I sigh. “I don’t know what it’s like to be just Mel with you. It feels strange.”
He huffs a warm breath and it tickles my arm. “Did you act differently than you usually would when I was paying you?”
I shrug. “Yeah, maybe.”
He’s about to speak, when I butt in.
“Maybe, but I liked it. I liked who I was when I was Lady Mel.”
He smiles. “Then be her too. Be whatever you want in the moment you want it. I fell for the feisty lady as much as I did for the loving mom and the playful person you are when your walls come down a bit. I like all those things about you.”
“You do?”
“I do. I don’t want you to stop bossing me around. I think I need that. I want to see all the parts of you and get to know you. And I want to see a lot more of you, if that’s OK.”
I relax. Being with Jarra the way we are makes me feel more confident and sexy than anyone I’ve ever been with. It’s funny, but the way I trained myself to be when I’m Lady Mel has come to feel more natural to me than anything else. As if it’s been inside me all along, and Jarra just helped me to let it out. I’ve been stressing about trying to be something different because I thought he wanted to see the real me, but maybe he’s seen more of her than I thought.
I snuggle in closer and he puts one big arm around me and it feels, honestly, like the best thing in the world. His strength, knowing it’s mine to command whenever I like. “Will you get me my wine.” It’s gentle, but it’s not a question. I still feel the need to qualify it somewhat. “You have long arms.”
He grins, so I know I’ve done right. “Certainly.” He reaches the table easily, hardly disturbing me. “Now, is there anything else?”
“Yeah.” I grin. “I thought you said there was a movie.”
