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We take our time washing their bodies and massaging their sore muscles. Blaze is the first to help Elijah out to put soothing lotion on his back, leaving me to talk to Jaxon. I turn him sideways on my lap so I can see his face.
“Is there anything you want to talk about?” He shakes his head. “Now’s the time,Litso kukly.This was your first time doing something like this.”
“It was different.” He gives me a small smile showing what he’s really feeling. “I’m not sure what to feel. I felt like I was there but not. Does that make sense?”
I nod. “That’s called subspace. It allows you to exist in a place where you don’t have to make decisions because I make them for you. All you have to do is feel.”
I see the first sign of fear on Jaxon’s face. “It scares the shit out of me, Kane.”
“That’s normal. You gave up complete control to me.” I turn his face toward mine. “And you did it so beautifully. The way you let me command your body is something that I can’t describe. You gave me so much trust, and I’m proud of you.”
I watch the next set of emotions run across his face closely. When his eyelashes flutter, I know he’s trying to accept it. “Thank you, Daddy.”
“Such akhoroshiy mal’chikfor me.” He settles against my chest, and I rub my hands up and down his back until he’s completely relaxed. “Did you like it?”
“Yes,” he whispers. “Is that what it’s always like?”
“It can be more intense than that.”
“I want more, Kane.”
“What do you mean?” I hold my breath for what he says next.
“I want what,” he stops and swallows, “Blaze and Elijah have. He seems so free when he’s with Blaze. And I felt it, but I want more.”
“You need to know what you’re asking for,Litso kukly.What they have goes much deeper than a normal relationship. Elijah’s whole purpose is to serve Blaze the way Blaze wants, and in turn, Blaze takes care of Elijah. In and out of the bedroom. We can still have a relationship without the Dom/sub dynamic.”
“But you’re a Dom. How does that work?”
“When I take a submissive, it’s a commitment from both parties. I expect different things than Blaze does, but I still have expectations, and I’m not an easy man. It won’t be just sexual with you, either, Jaxon. I want complete devotion from you. I’ll take care of you in any way that I see fit, even if that means putting myself into your everyday life. I’ll push you to your very limits physically, mentally, and emotionally. It takes time to develop soft and hard limits, so you have to be fully committed to this. To me.”
“Would you be fully committed to me?”
“Yes, I will.”
“What about what just happened? Will that happen again?”
“If you want it to happen, yes. This is where preferences and limits come in. I don’t want to call it a contract because it’s not, but it’s close. We negotiate on everything before we start.”
Jaxon runs his hand down my cheek. “I want this. I don’t know what it is about you, but I’ve never wanted anything more in my life. I know I have a smart mouth, and I don’t always listen, but I will for you.”
“Litso kukly,your smart mouth is one of my favorite things about you. It’s refreshing. I don’t want to change who you are.”
“I want it.”
I run through everything he just said as fast as I can. I know that Jaxon’s submissive; it’s written all over him. But to actually want it this soon? I’m trying not to get caught up in the whirlwind that’s already been our relationship, but when he looks at me with those blue eyes, I want to fall athisfeet. It’s not a feeling I’ve ever had. But I want it with him, no matter how fucking stupid that makes me. “We’ll talk about everything after dinner. That will give you time to come down and make a rational decision. If it’s not what you want, we’ll keep things the way they are.”
After Jaxon’s agreement, I help him from the bath, get him dried off, and lead him to my room, where I dress him. We eat with Elijah and Blaze, and it feels like a family dinner with laughter and jokes. Elijah and Jaxon get along better than I could have ever imagined. Jaxon is still a little put off by Blaze; even I am sometimes. Blaze is a lot to take in, but I feel like Jaxon can handle him once he gets to know him.
Excusing myself from the table, I go to my office down the hallway to make some phone calls before I have this talk with Jaxon. I need to check in with Carter to see if he got the pictures of the Lieutenant fucking the Captain’s wife, and I need to see if Diego has found anything on Lev.
I dial Carter first. “Hey, Sir.”
“What do you have for me?”
Carter starts rambling about what pictures he got because they were indeed messing around behind Carls’ back. The door to the office slowly opens, and Jaxon sticks his head in with a smile. I wave him in, and he walks around to my side of the desk. He motions for me to scoot my chair back, and I’m expecting him to crawl into my lap like he tends to do. But to my surprise, he drops to his knees and lays his head on my thigh, looking up at me with clear eyes. I run my fingers through his hair, excitement coursing through my veins. Is this his way of saying that he’s accepting what I have to offer?
“Sir?” Carter says, pulling me back to the conversation. “Did you hear me?”
