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“Do you think he’s ready for that?”
“I don’t have a choice. You saw how he was last night. I risk losing him either way.”
Blaze lets his feet drop to the floor. “You’re that serious about him?”
I swallow past the lump in my throat. “I want to collar him, Blaze. I want to make him mine in every sense of the word.”
“Where does that leave Elijah and me?”
“With us. If that’s where you want to be.”
“You know I’m not going anywhere. But you need to talk to Jaxon first. What if he bolts?”
“I’ll beg him to come back. I don’t see my life without him anymore.”
The door to the office opens, and Jaxon shuffles in, still looking half asleep. He always seeks me out when he wakes up alone, and it fills me with hope that he still did it even though he’s angry at me. Jaxon walks straight to me, and I push my chair back, giving him the option to do what he wants. He drops to his knees between my thighs and lays his head against my leg. I run my fingers through his curly brown hair. “Good morning,Litso kukly.” I give Blaze a look, and he nods, then disappears from the room.
“I’m sorry about last night.” He looks up at me with those gorgeous blue eyes. “I shouldn’t have pushed.”
“I understand, but we still need to talk about a lot of things. Starting with what you want out of this.” I rub my thumb across his pouty bottom lip. “I want you to be mine with my collar around your neck. I need to know if that’s what you want before I tell you anything, but I also need you to understand what that means.”
Jaxon takes a shuddering breath. “I know what it means, and that’s what I want. I don’t know when it happened, but you’ve consumed me. The thought of losing you makes me feel so fucking sick.”
I swallow the following words, almost expressing how hopelessly in fucking love I’m falling with him. He might want the collar, but he’s not ready for that yet. “Have you ever looked into my name?”
Jaxon’s brows furrow. “No. I haven’t had a reason to.”
I’ve never struggled with who I am until this moment. I can’t seem to get the words to form on my lips to tell him my true identity. I roll my neck and harden my resolve. “My name is Kane Lyubava. Leader of the Russian Mafia.”
I watch every emotion pass across Jaxon’s face. Confusion, disbelief, anger, and then the one I didn’t want to see. Fear. He jumps to his feet and steps around to the other side of the desk. “You’re lying.”
I shake my head. “I’m not. The Lyubavas have ruled for many years.”
“That’s what all the secret meetings and phone calls where you had to leave were about. You’re a fucking criminal.” Jaxon starts pacing and running his hands through his hair. “That’s why you were in jail last night. What the hell did you get me into?”
“I’m still the man you met,Litso kukly.”
Jaxon scoffs. “No. That man was a businessman, not a fucking monster. I can’t believe I fell for this shit. Iknewsomething was off, but because I was blinded by your cock, I ignored it.”
I shove the anger down for him reducing what we have to just sex. I’ve already learned that Jaxon’s first instinct is to lash out when he’s mad. “I won’t lie and say I don’t do bad things. But I need you to know that I’d never hurt you.”
Jaxon slowly turns to face me, and the look on his face rips my heart in two. “You already have.” He backs toward the door and holds a hand up when I stand. “I just need…to breathe and think. Please don’t follow me.”
He leaves the office, and I drop heavily into my chair, rubbing my fingers across the watch he gave me. I move the mouse to my computer to wake the screen up and scroll through the cameras to find Jaxon. I gave strict instructions to the guards that he was not to leave the house. I can’t handle the thought of him out of my sight right now. I finally find him and Elijah on the back balcony and breathe a sigh of relief that he didn’t try to leave. I don’t know what that means right now. All I know is it feels like my heart is being ripped from my chest. Jaxon is the guy I’ve been waiting to settle down with, and in a blink, he can be taken from me or leave me. I close out the camera, stand up, and grab my jacket from the back of the chair.
We still have business to take care of, whether my life is falling apart or not.
* * *
An hour later, we’re leaving the impound lot with Blaze’s Bugatti and heading toward Lieutenant Michaels’ house. He’s about to find out the hard way that you don’t fuck with me. Carter gave us the heads-up right before my conversation with Jaxon, which is still running on repeat in my head.
“You okay, Boss?” Blaze asks when we pull up.
I look over at Blaze in the driver’s seat. “He’s still there. That means something, right?”
“Eli will straighten him out.” Blaze shrugs. “Or you can tie him up in the playroom. The choice is yours.”
“Let’s hope it doesn’t get that far.”
