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“Sir.”
“Call me Blaze. It’s just us right now.”
“Blaze.”
“Do you know what you do to me? Come for me, Baby.”
Jaxon’s hand on my arm pulls me back to reality. “It’s okay, Blaze. It’s not your fault.”
“You hurt me, Boy toy.”
Tears well in Jaxon’s eyes. “I know, and I’m so fucking sorry.”
I put more pressure on the knife, and Jaxon tries to contain his wince. “I have to do this. They said I have to do this.”
Slice him open.
Make him bleed.
Make him suffer.
“I know,” Jaxon whispers. “Sir.”
That one word rattles around in my brain, and the voices die down to a low roar. I shake my head, trying to get rid of them completely. They’re fighting for space in my head, yelling over each other, and trying to break past the barrier I’m trying to put up. Using my other hand, I reach up and wipe tears from Jaxon’s cheeks. “Why did you have to do this? We were all perfect for each other. You looked so good with that collar around your neck.”
At the mention of that, a sob erupts from Jaxon before he bites it off. “I never wanted it to be like this. Once I realized I fucked up, I was in too deep. I’d do anything to take it back. I don’t regret meeting Kane. I regret how it happened.”
I nod, accepting that. Jaxon closes his eyes, waiting for me to deliver the final blow. I try to get my hand to move, but it won’t budge.
Why did you let him talk?
You should have done it while he was asleep.
You’re fucking useless.
“You aren’t useless.” My eyes snap to Jaxon’s, and he smiles sadly. “You said it out loud, and you aren’t useless. Kane and Eli are lucky to have you, Blaze. You’re stronger than those voices in your head. Prove it to them.”
I can feel myself struggling with what he’s saying. It’s almost like he wants me to kill him. Taking a deep breath, I make my decision.
And jerk the knife to the side.
CHAPTER24
KANE
Iwake with a jerk and stretch my arm across the bed, searching for Jaxon. When my hand hits cold sheets, my heart breaks even more.
Before I can wallow in self-pity, I slide from the bed and head for the shower. I let my mind run free and think of all the implications of Jaxon being a fucking cop. I think about every moment we spent together, and nothing stands out to me. The first night, he was nervous, but that’s because I was the first man he was ever with. Or was that a lie, too? None of this is making any goddamn sense, and I’m pissed at myself for not catching on. I put my entire family in danger because I was blinded by Jaxon.
I’ve decided against my better judgment not to go after Captain Carls yet. If I do, they’ll know Jaxon’s cover has been blown. I’ll have them breathing so far down my neck when they can’t find him, especially since I wrecked his apartment after I put the bullet through the wall.
As much as I tell myself I was ready to kill Jaxon, I’m full of shit. I watched his heart shatter when I made him take his collar off. Telling him he meant nothing to me was so he could feel an ounce of what I was feeling.
I shut the shower off, dry off, wrap a towel around my body, and step into my room. Eli is sitting on the edge of the bed, waiting for me, looking worried. “What’s wrong,Dragotsennyy?”
“When I woke up this morning, Blaze wasn’t in bed. I went looking for him, and he was sitting on the balcony naked, covered in blood.”
“What? Was he hurt?”
