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16
CHRIS
Ethan was going for an Olympic record.
Exhausted from trying to keep up, Chris went to sit on the edge of the pool and watched Ethan slicing through the water, clearly using the physical effort as a mental escape. A few minutes later, Ethan reached the end of the pool in the lane next to Chris. He rested his head on his arms and took deep breaths. Chris waited patiently, his legs creating subtle waves in the chlorinated water. There was no one else in the pool, either due to the early hour or to people being lazy. By now, the two of them had gotten used to swimming together once or twice a week, usually following that with breakfast in a restaurant close by.
Once Ethan began breathing normally, Chris asked, “Feeling better?”
“Not really.” With his head still resting on his arms, he looked up at Chris. His swimming goggles had created round grooves around his eyes. “Anthony told me about Tobias.”
Chris found it hard to sit still. He had been dreading this moment yet expecting it to happen. “What did he say?”
“He told me about the club, and how he and Tobias had a thing going for a while.” Ethan paused before saying, “He also told me he’d been kidnapped and almost died in that secret apartment.”
Chris closed his eyes and braced himself for an inevitable fight. He jolted when Ethan rested his hand on his knee. The look in Ethan’s eyes was intense, but not with anger.
“He told me how you saved him.”
Chris frowned. “I got him involved with Tobias and the club in the first place.”
“You did, and having sex with him while he was drugged was a shitty move.”
“I tried for weeks to make him understand how bad Tobias was for him. When I saw him on that bed, I decided to push him over the edge so he would finally wake the hell up. But yes, it was a shitty move. I felt horrible afterward.”
“Anthony had plenty of chances to stop along the way,” Ethan said. “Youdidn’t push him into having a relationship with Tobias, or to take any of those drugs.” He watched Chris closely. “I hope you’re not blaming yourself for what happened.”
He was, and it was a heavy burden to bear. Hearing that Ethan didn’t blame him immediately lifted some of the weight. “Does Anthony still blame me?”
“If he were, he wouldn’t have been able to hide it. The man can’t act to save his life.”
More weight lifted, and Chris could have swum for another hour. His ugly fight with Anthony following his rescue had been haunting him for months. Their new-found friendship hadn’t been enough to put out the flames of guilt. “Thank you, E.”
“I’m the last person you should thank. When it all went down between Anthony and Tobias, I was too caught up in my own problems to notice anything.” He looked at Chris with remorse in his eyes. “Like with you and Jay.”
It didn’t surprise Chris that Ethan blamed himself for that; he knew him too well. “You noticed something wrong between us, and you tried to find out what. There was nothing more you could have done.”
“I could have pushed harder.”
Ethan could have pushed till the end of time, but his stubbornness had nothing on Chris’s ability to keep a secret. “Let it go, E. Please.”
Ethan pulled himself up to sit next to Chris on the edge of the pool. They stayed like that for a while, their wet shoulders touching, and their legs sending waves until it turned into a competition of who could reach the furthest. Ethan’s longer legs must have been tired because Chris won.
“You obviously cheated,” Ethan said.
“Obviously. Oh, I spoke with your parents last night. I showed them the old photo of me you found.”
“How long did it take for Mom to cry?”
“A full minute. Your dad also cried a bit.”
“For real? Well, I guess that’s what you get when you’re the favorite son.”
Chris knew that wasn’t true, but he loved hearing Ethan say things like that. The first time Ethan’s dad had called him “son”, Chris almost fell apart.
“Ready for breakfast?” Ethan asked.
Chris was more ready to be on the other side of breakfast considering what he had planned. “Yes.”
