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Casimir materializes first, his deep green eyes wide with urgency. I hold up my hand and then clasp his before he needs to ask any panicked questions. “Nothing’s gone wrong. I just wanted to see you and Alek one more time before I go.”
I discussed this meeting with Stavros in his quarters—he knows to ignore the signal. He’s already set off to join the squadron that’ll hopefully be charging to my aid in just a few hours.
I don’t need to explain anything more to Casimir. The courtesan’s expression softens with a mix of fondness and concern that squeezes my heart even tighter than it already felt.
He knows the chances of my returning are much less than any other time I’ve gone off with the Order of the Wild. Maybe altogether slim.
Who can say whether we’ll see each other again?
Alek emerges from his cord a moment later, with his dark hair swaying across the top of his mask and a similarly urgent air. I tug him close to me with a reassuring smile that I hope gives him more comfort than it’s giving me.
“I needed a little company right before I leave,” I say.
But that’s not the full reason. It’s just going to take me a minute to gather myself for the rest.
Alek slips his arm around my waist and Casimir tucks his around my elbow. The two men who first accepted me for all I am envelop me in their warmth and their different sorts of strength from either side.
If I were being perfectly fair, I’d speak to Casimir before Alek. He’s the one who welcomed me from the very beginning, who won my heart when I was so afraid of losing it.
But knowing these men as I do now, I turn to the scholar first. Casimir has the certainty of his gift showing him how much he matters to me; he has the confidence of years of navigating tender emotions.
This territory is as new to Alek as it is to me.
I touch the side of Alek’s face, and he leans in automatically to claim a kiss. The lingering press of his mouth against mine tastes bittersweet, as if he’s hoping the gesture can keep me here away from danger. I choke up despite my best efforts.
When he finally eases back, his bright brown eyes shine with as much emotion as is whirling inside me. I find the words rise in my throat with no effort after all.
I smile up at him. “I love you.”
Alek’s lips part with a moment’s shock. “What?”
It’s even easier the second time. “I love you. I love how quickly your mind works and how much information you choose to fill it with. I love your dedication to every cause you take up.” My smile turns sly. “I love how much you enjoy certain volumes of Woudish poetry.”
A breathless laugh escapes him, and then he’s capturing my mouth in another kiss, more emphatic than the last.
“I love you too,” he murmurs after, still close enough that his breath grazes my mouth. “Everything about you, everything you bring to this world. Gods help me, Ivy, if I could ride out there with you and stand with you against the scourge sorcerers—”
I swallow hard. “I know.”
When I shift my gaze to Casimir, he’s smiling so brightly I have no doubt that I made the right decision. He looks as happy to see me declare the depths of my affection for Alek as Alek is.
Here’s hoping I can make him even happier.
For all the confidence I’ve gained, the words still feel momentous on my tongue. I tighten my grip on his hand. “I love you. I love your boundless compassion and your commitment to increasing the joy in the world. I love the generosity you’ve spoiled me with and the ways you’ve let me spoil you a little in return.”
The courtesan dips his head, his lips brushing my temple and my cheek before reaching my mouth. I’m tingling before we’re even really kissing.
“I love you too,” he says, sounding a little choked up himself. “And I look forward to watching your delight through every bath and ride and dance we share. Meeting you is the greatest gift I could have asked for.”
I hug them both closer, willing back the tears that prick at my eyes. I need to remember this—all the faith they have in me, how avidly they’ll be awaiting my return—through every moment I’m out there among the enemy.
My mind slips back to my last exchange with Stavros: the fiery kiss he gave me, the emphatic order to do whatever it takes to get away from the scourge sorcerers alive. His promise to be there to cut them down for me as fast as his steed can carry him.
I might not be ready to say those three words back to him yet, but I treasure his faith in me too.
“You’ll take the antidote?” Alek checks.
I nod. “I’m going to chew one of the tablets you made from the powder before I leave, just to be safe, and have a couple more in my sleeve for after.”
