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I draw back far enough that I can meet his eyes directly again. “You don’t need to be jealous. Casimir made it clear from the start that what happened between us was only casual for him. He’s been sweet to me, but that’s how he is with everyone. I don’t know if he evencansee ‘companionship’ as something exclusive.”
Alek studies me with his incisive gaze that picks up on so much. “But you would have wanted him to.”
My throat constricts. I’ve had enough of lying to this man.
“I have… feelings for Casimir that I’m still sorting out,” I say. “But that doesn’t mean that I want you any less. It simply means that I’ve had alotof feelings since coming here that don’t seem to know how to make up their minds.”
“And if Casimir showed that he was interested in something more committed…?”
I can tell the scholar is trying to sound detached about the subject, but his voice has gone a bit raw all the same.
I turn my head to press a kiss to his palm before I lock eyes with him again. “I wouldn’t use you to pass the time while waiting to see if he comes around. I… I don’t think that would be good for either of us, would it? If we’re doing this, I’m choosing you. For however long it lasts, however it all plays out. And I’ll be nothing but happy with that choice. I’ll feel like the luckiest woman alive that I got to make it.”
My voice drops to a whisper with that last sentence as it hits me just how true it is. A few weeks ago, I could barely imagine risking another no-strings-attached roll-about, let alone having an actual partner who wanted to stick around. Who I could trust with everything I am.
Alek gives a strained laugh, but his face has lit up. He leans closer again to speak in a murmur. “And what exactly are we doing here?”
Elation sweeps through me at the promise in his question. At the sense that we’re teetering on the edge of crossing a line we’ll never come back from… but that I wouldn’t want to back away from anyway.
A wider smile curves my lips. “Well, I’m about to go on a deadly mission with an uncertain outcome. And—”
The ding of the palace bell, somewhere overhead, interrupts. Nine resonant peals.
I raise my eyebrows at Alek. “And we still have an hour before Stavros gets peeved. That’s plenty of time. Why shouldn’t we make the most of it?”
Alek beams back at me. “I think that’s the most brilliant idea I’ve ever heard.”
Then he’s kissing me again, and it really is nothing short of brilliant.
Our mouths collide over and over, my desire flaring hotter until I have to gasp for breath. Alek takes advantage of the moment to grasp me by my hips and lift me back onto the edge of the table so I no longer have to stand on my toes to reach his lips.
I’m not sure what thrills me more—the strength I always forget he’s hiding in those slim arms or the greater access he’s given both of us.
Alek steals another kiss, tracing his fingers along the neckline of my gown. “You know, maybe you shouldn’t have to choose. From that poetry book you gave me, it’s obvious women taking multiple partners like Signy did is pretty common in Woudish culture.”
A breathless giggle slips out of me. “Or at least the culture of Woudish erotic poets.”
He hums in shared amusement. “Whatever the case, it was kind of… exhilarating to read about.”
“Oh? Did you get a lot of enjoyment other than scholarly out of my present?”
I think Alek has blushed beneath his dark skin at my teasing. He pauses. “I don’t have very much practical experience to draw on with all of this. In case that wasn’t obvious. I—there was barely anything with the girls I knew before my time at the temple school ended, and here… In my first year, there was a woman who pursued me, but I found out right afterward that she just thought it’d be exciting to fuck a freak.”
I bristle around a rush of sympathy. “You’re not a freak. Who was it? If I—”
Alek nuzzles my cheek. “It’s all right. I don’t need you to defend my honor. I just don’t want you to expect more than I can offer.”
“Hey.” I angle his face to catch his gaze. “So we’re clear, I can count the number of roll-abouts I’ve had on my fingers, without needing all of them. And half of those I didn’t even really get off, which is why it stopped seeming worth the risk. You don’t have anything to prove to me.”
“I still want it to be good for you,” he mutters. “Ihavedone plenty of reading—poetry and otherwise. Scholarship can come in handy in all sorts of ways.”
“I’d imagine it can.”
He tilts his head next to mine, his lips brushing the shell of my ear. “You have no idea how many fantasies I’ve indulged in where I offer to help you expand your Woudish by reading that poetry book, and while we’re going through it you turn to me and suggest we try bringing the verses to life…”
A giddy shiver races through my veins. But even more potent is a swell of affection so fierce my heart aches with it.
I hug him to me, absorbing the warmth of his lean frame. “That sounds like a lovely way to spend a day. But right now I’m happy to keep it simple. Wedohave less than an hour.”
