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“I hearyou,” I say with a smile. “It’s the sound of forever.”
Chapter Forty-Six
Willow
Imusthavefallenasleep again after my talk with Jesse, because when I next open my eyes, the sun’s high in the sky and I’m alone.
My eyes drift shut again until I hear a tentative knock on the door and Tate appears. “Mind if I come in?”
Instead of the wariness and nerves I used to feel around him, a sense of guilt hits me. “Of course, yes.” I signal to the chair beside me.
Tate walks forward slowly as though he’s waiting for some kind of negative reaction. And he probably deserves one. But I no longer have it in me to dish it out. Life’s too short to hold on to the past; it’s why I need to leave it all behind.
He stops when he reaches the end of the bed and pauses, subtly adjusting the sling on his arm as his eyes bounce around the room, clearly unsure of how to proceed.
“I wanted to check in on you, if you have a minute,” he says, standing a little more confidently.
I nod and sit up, giving him my full attention.
Considering what we’ve been through and the fact that we’ve known each other for years, it seems weird that we’re still strangers.That we never spoke at school.I always wondered why. It’s not that I wanted to talk to him, because he always made me feel uncomfortable with the strange way he’d watch me, but he still had my mind reeling, always trying to work out if I’d done something wrong.
Now I know.
And I can’t blame him for it. Whether he stared at me in disgust for what I did, or was freaking out that I’d one day remember, I still get it. I can’t pretend that day wasn’t hard on all of us. Jesse and Tate may have walked away and left me, but they never escaped the nightmare. None of us ever will.
“I’m so sorry, Willow. I should have tried harder to find out more, and I should have told you that I thought Alex was dangerous. I just didn’t want to scare you too much if I was wrong.”
I want to understand, only there are still a few missing pieces. “Why didn’t you warn me sooner, when you were first worried?”
“God, I don’t know.” He pulls at his hair and shakes his head. “I honestly didn’t think it was that urgent. I thought it was jealousy. I had no idea he knew Jade until he texted me to meet you both on the mountain. Before that, it was just a weird vibe I was getting, and I’m really fucking sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. You had no idea what Alex had done. What he was capable of. None of us did.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry about that too. I thought I knew him. I still can't believe Jade was buying his drugs. No wonder she had so much money.”
I almost ask how much, but since Alex was talking about reselling the drugs, it's safe to assume it was a lot.
“I guess Jesse was right not to trust him.” I smile but it's a little forced.
Tate huffs out a laugh. “And here I was thinking Jesse was just jealous too, and maybe that was a part of it, but I also think he saw through Alex.”
“Like he saw through me?”
“Yep.” He chuckles softly. “That guy was completely gone for you from the moment he first laid eyes on you. His buttercup.” He walks toward me and finally sits down before letting out a long, drawn-out breath. “You know he was prepared to take the fall for Jade to protect you,” he whispers, making me sigh. I did know that. He never corrected me when I said Jade’s death was his fault.
“And I don’t mean that he was just going to make you believe that he did it,” Tate continues, looking over his shoulder to make sure we’re still alone. “I’m referring to when it first happened. The day Jade died.”
What?My brow furrows as I try to think about what that means.
“He was going to find you in the hospital and beg you to let him confess. We never considered the possibility that you’d lose your memory, and he didn’t want you to be punished for what happened. But then you couldn’t remember and that was infinitely better. For all of us.”
“Okay.” It’s all I can say as my heart jolts in my chest.
“After the other incident that night.” He pauses, giving me a pointed look, telling me he knows Jesse told me about his foster dad, making my heart break for both of them. “After that happened, we talked about what we’d do if you one day remembered something. What we’d do if you remembered us, but not the incident itself. And despite everything we went through, he still wanted to play the martyr. He said he’d rather go down than have you live with that guilt.”
He pauses again when I gasp, and tears prick my eyes.
“I wouldn’t let him,” he continues. “He’d found a new home. Agoodhome. He was about to get a better life. So, I told him I’d kept an eye on you, and then prayed you’d never get your memories back.”
