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“So, shorten it,” I cut in because I’m not letting him leave until he tells me. Jade never mentioned him. She never mentioned anyone except the occasional boy at school. “I need to know.”
Alex nods and leans back into the wall, his expression pinched. “As I’ve told you before, I met Tate in jail and we became friends. One night, I jokingly told him I’d forgotten a few years of my life, and he told me about you. The girl from his school. The girl who couldn’t remember.”
“Okay.” My heart pounds in my chest even though that part isn’t new information for me. I’m more worried about what’s coming.
“When I asked him if you were still living there…here, he couldn’t tell me. Said it had been years since he’d seen you, and that you’d most likely moved away. End of story.”
I huff out a laugh because I wish that was true, but Alex doesn’t see the funny side. Instead his face drops as he continues his story.
“Sometime later, I can’t remember how long, he got that invite to your dad’s thing and told me to come along. I wasn’t going to because what was the point… You didn’t have the answers I needed. I’d already resigned myself to the fact that I’d never know. But then he got wasted and started mumbling about how he thought you might remember…how it was only a matter of time…and I changed my mind.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Willow, if there was even the slightest chance you remembered… I had to find out.” His voice shakes as he speaks, the emotion in his tone bleeding through. But it doesn’t add up.
“Why didn’t you ever come and see me? Or just tell me the truth when you first came back? Why pretend to be interested?”
And why the hell does everyone I know feel the need to lie to me?
“I wasn’t pretending,” he says, and I roll my eyes. “When I first asked you to dance, I did it to get to know you. For answers. But then I felt this connection and I couldn’t stay away.”
“But—”
Alex raises his hand to tell me he’s not done and continues on. “The reason I never came to see you sooner is because I thought it would hurt too much. To know you had all the answers I wanted but couldn’t access them.”
Ouch. That’s all I need…more reasons to feel guilty.
“Thisisa lot,” I repeat his words back to him. “Why are you telling me now?”
“I felt bad after convincing you to go up the mountain.”
“It’s been a month.” All of that was about him. Not me. Him. Ugh. I’m an idiot.“If you’re here to ask if I know anything, I don’t.” I cross my arms over my chest as the lie easily leaves my lips. “It didn’t work.”
“I’m not here for that. I just came to apologize.”
“Oh. Okay.”I didn’t expect that.“Thank you. I guess.”
He takes a step closer, but when I shake my head he steps back again. “I’m sorry. I should have told you when you were in the hospital.”
“Or before that?”
“Yeah.” He chuckles. “I should have told you from the start.”
“You should have. But it’s too late. You can, however, tell me about you and Jade.”
“I can. And I will. Can I take you to dinner?”
What? “I don’t think that’s a good idea. We can talk here.”
Alex’s eyes widen, but he nods, gripping the back of his neck. “I cared about her deeply, but she didn’t think anyone would approve of me.”
My stomach swirls with more guilt, but I don’t want to believe him. We told each other everything. Jade would have saidsomething.
“She begged me to keep it a secret,” he continues, “and I reluctantly agreed. I would have done anything for her.”
“Do her parents know?” I ask, my brow furrowed. “I mean, did you talk to them after?”
“No. There was no point.” His face drops again and my heart clenches. If he’s telling the truth, I can’t imagine what he went through. Actually, I can…it’s the same thing I went through. We both lost someone we cared for and have no idea why.
