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“I wish I could tell you what happened,” I say quietly. “I wish I had the answers.”
“Me too.”
The front door chimes and we both fall silent. Though, even if we hadn’t been interrupted, I don’t think there’s much more to say. I feel completely blindsided by what he’s told me, but Jade’s gone. Hearing more now isn’t going to change that.
When Alex and I walk out, Grant’s moving down the aisle, his gaze locked over his shoulder, back toward the front windows. “Sara, you forgot your lunch,” he says absentmindedly. “I knew you were doing a full day so… Oh, hi Willow.” His voice raises as he finally turns and spots me, his frown morphing to a smile.
“Everything okay?” I ask as he gets closer, reaching for Sara when he comes to a stop. A sharp sting hits me in the chest, making my mood shift. I want that. What they’ve got. Ireallywant that. And I hate that the person who made me finally realize I wanted more from life is the same person who made me so against it in the first place. And I never even knew why.
I glance at Sara, thinking about her offer, as my two life choices come to mind. The way I see it, I need to chooseonepath. I can take Sara’s offer and do everything in my power to find out exactly what happened that day. I can keep working with my therapist and actually face Jesse, forcing him to talk.OrI can forget it all, use what little information Idohave to start fresh, and move forward as thoughthatWillow never existed.
Jesse may very well have been the cause of my heartache, but he also helped me find myself again. He helped me to question my life. Maybe I need to take that blessing and run with it. Truly move on from my past.
Grant’s frown appears again, pulling me from my thoughts, and my eyes flash to Sara’s in concern.
“There’s a guy hanging around out front. It’s probably nothing. It’s just…” He trails off and shakes his head while Alex stiffens beside me, and a nervous feeling settles in my stomach.
“Forget it,” Grant continues before I can say anything. “He was probably just looking at your new window display.”
Sara looks toward the window at the same time I do, but there’s no one there.
“I’ll have a look on my way out,” Alex says, nodding toward the door. “But I’m sure he’s right.” He points to Grant before walking away, only turning back at the last second to wave goodbye.
Goose bumps spread across my body, telling me I should be worried, but why? Who could it be? Unless it’s Tate? But Jesse told me not to be worried about him.God, I’m paranoid again. And short of discovering everything, I’m not sure how I’m going to shake it.
My gaze moves to my tablet in Sara’s hands and I inwardly curse. I’ve been kidding myself.There’s no way I can move on without knowing the truth. I hate that there are people out there that know more about me than I do. I hate feeling like I’m not in control of my own life. And I need to fix that.
Plus, I remembered something…
“I’m going to San Francisco,” I say out of nowhere, making Sara smile.
She walks forward and pulls me in for a quick hug. “I think that’s a great idea. But first, what the hell happened with Alex?”
After telling Sara about Alex, I’m more determined than ever to discover the truth, but it doesn’t last long. Yes, I pack a bag as soon as I get home from work, but beyond that, I make no plans to actually leave, suddenly aware of how big a deal it is. I’ve never even been past the border of the next town. The hospital is the farthest place I’ve visited, and now I want to go to San Francisco. To the city. To chase something that might not even be there.
I head off for a walk, testing my ankle a few times with a slow jog, thankful that my injury wasn't as bad as I first thought. When I reach the sign for the lookout, like always, I pause. My heart lodges in my throat as I fight to keep my emotions in check. Over the years, my fear of going back kept me grounded, but I always felt like that mountain held all the answers. Now I know the truth. All I found was more pain. More questions. More heartbreak. And most of that came from Jesse.
A stick crunches under my foot as I step off the path and into the brush, my legs guiding me forward without my permission. Millions of images flash through my mind of all the times I came here with Jade, but none of them link to the one memory I desperately need.
I remember the twelve-year-old versions of us, dressed up in what we considered appropriate hiking wear, packing a lunch for our very first journey. I remember seeing the view for the first time, the way the air left my lungs at the beauty of it all. I remember the scratches, the falls, the laughter, the tears.
And I remember standing in this very spot, time and time again, willing my legs to walk but being frozen in place, unable to move forward without my best friend, my world.
The hardest thing to take is that it wasn’t a rarity for Jade and me to be up there. It wasourescape. When I wanted to be alone, I went to the next town over, but when Jade and I needed to get away, that’s where we went.
But never with anyone else.
We even avoided times when it was likely to be busy. Like summer.
Yet Jesse was there…and Tate. But Tate never told Alex about it. Why? Was it him?God, I just need to know.
Did we interrupt them doing something illegal?
Or did they follow us?
Did Jade invite them?
God, did they know Jade beforehand?
