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The elevator doors open and I practically jump inside, holding my hand out to wait for Pippa. The second she steps in and the doors close, my entire body deflates, finally allowing me to breathe.
“Are you ready to tell me what happened?” Pippa asks almost immediately, and I can tell from her weary expression that wasn’t easy for her to see.
“I’m ready to tell you what I know. But in comparison to what happened, it’s not a lot.”
She nods as she busies herself getting her key out of her bag. “That looked intense back there,” she says with a frown. “Jesse seems pretty messed up.”
He’s not the only one.“He needed more from me, but I couldn’t give it to him.”
“You don’t owe anyone anything, Willow. Ever. It’s about time you started putting yourself first. I know I’m guilty of taking advantage of your kindness and generosity, but it ends now. I’m sorry. I wish I’d noticed how much you were struggling. It took seeing your real smile for me to realize how unhappy you were.”
“My real smile?”
Pippa huffs out a laugh. “Yeah, I’m sorry it took me so long to notice the difference. But something made you happy.”
Someone. Jesse.If only he wasn’t currently making me sad.
After Pippa shows me around her apartment and orders takeout, we curl up on opposite ends of the couch, ready for me to talk.
Other than Sara, I haven’t told anyone about my connection to Jesse, and honestly, if I wasn’t staying here and expecting Pippa to help me, I probably wouldn’t tell her either. It feels strange talking about it when Jesse and I haven’t even had a real conversation. Almost like I’m betraying his trust.
The irony.
“I don’t really know where to start, but I should probably tell you that Jesse and I were together more than once when you both visited. But nothing happened untilafterI found out it was fake between the two of you. I would never—”
“Willow,” she says, cutting me off as she sits up. “Even if you’d acted on it beforehand, it wouldn’t have been the same.”
“Actually, it would have, because we all believed Jesse was your boyfriend and—”
“Did you? Did you for a second actually believe it? Even I could see we weren’t fooling everyone. If just one person had questioned it out loud,the townwould have been talking about it.”
“Still.”That’s not the point.Regardless of the fact that Jesse flinched when they touched or that they spent most of their time apart, we weretoldthey were together.
“Don’t beat yourself up about it. The point is, youdidn’tact on it. You’re not Ashley. Or me. And this has no relevance to your story.”
We lock eyes for a beat, without saying anything, as I try to determine whether she’s really unaffected by what I did.
“Come on already.” She laughs. “Get to the important stuff.”
I roll my eyes but allow the smallest of smiles to shine through, until I remember what I’m about to say. “Okay. Here goes.” I release a slow breath and tuck my hands into my lap. “The night before I disappeared, Alex came to visit me at the shop. And by visit, I mean, he snuck in while I was closing up.”
“What the hell? Why wouldn’t you have told anyone that? Did he do anything? IknewJesse was right—”
“He made me uncomfortable, but he didn’t do anything. I’m still not convinced he’s abadperson.”Especially after his confession. “But I’m also not sure that he’s good. If that makes sense?”
“Not even a little.” She grimaces, making me huff out a laugh.
“I just mean that I don’t think he’s as bad as Jesse thinks he is. Misunderstood maybe?”
“Okay, gotcha.” She doesn’t get it, but I move on.
“Anyway, that night he asked me out again, and to try and convince me to say yes, he told me heknewthings…and that he could help me find out what happened to Jade.”
Pippa’s jaw drops as her posture stiffens. “Jesus! Was he there?”
Her door buzzes and she jumps at the intrusion but rushes to get it. “Hold that thought. Goddammit.”
I can’t help but giggle as I wait for her.What a moment for the food to arrive.
