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Pippa wanders off in the direction of the store, as I stare out at the view. Of all the things I’ve seen, and all the things I’ve yet to see, I know this will remain my favorite, right here.The bay. Hearing the waves crash against the beams of the pier, watching the sun’s reflection glistening on the water. It gives me a feeling of hope. And while I’d usually think that’s dangerous, it doesn’t seem so out of reach anymore.
I’m calm as we take our time chatting and wandering the pier, but when Pippa mentions we better get going, the call with my therapist comes to mind and I fall quiet.
To Pippa’s credit, she notices. “How about we skip the restaurant and have takeout instead?”
I open my mouth to argue, knowing she wants to go out, but she cuts me off.
“It’s already decided. But tell me, are you more worried about the possibility you’re not actually getting your memory back, or what you might discover if you do?” she asks, her face racked with concern.
Up until now I thought that was an easy question. But hearing it out loud gives me pause. Before she asked it, I was only concerned aboutnotgetting my memories back, but now that it’s out there, my stomach twists with nerves as to what might happen if I do.
“Both,” I say honestly. “But I need to know one way or the other.”
Chapter Eleven
Jesse
I’monedgewhenI don’t hear from Willow after our talk. I know she came to San Francisco for answers, so I hate to think that when I showed up at Pippa’s, I somehow altered her course.
My phone buzzes with a text as I watch late night talk shows on the couch, instead of being where I should be…bed. We only have a few more days before our first preseason game, and I can’t be tired. I need to show them I’m still at peak performance.
After finding Willow on the mountain, and with everything that’s happened—or hasn’t happened—since, I haven’t been able to get my blood pressure back down. While my levels aren’t considered dangerous day-to-day, once I’m on the ice, that’s a different story.
I play a high-risk sport and my levels haveneverbeen high. My heart’s always been stone. I honestly thought it was broken.
But now, everything’s changing. And I have no idea what to do about that. On some level it’s a good thing, but right now, it could end my career.
Case in point, as my chest tightens just from checking my fucking phone and seeing that it’s not Willow. It’s Seth reminding me of my doctor’s appointment tomorrow. Like it’snotone of only three things on my mind right now.
I finally drift off to sleep sometime before the sun rises and drag myself to the stadium when I wake. Doc’s there waiting for me with a hesitant smile on his face and his hands resting on the table. The picture of a man who’s about to deliver bad news.
“I haven’t even been tested yet, but that look on your face tells me you’re about to end my career.”
“I only have to look atyourface to know you’re still stressed. But that doesn’t mean it’s over. It just means we’ll need to make everyone aware of it so they can adjust accordingly.”
“Meaning what exactly?” My voice rises an octave. This conversation is doing nothing to help bring the stress down.
“I don’t know. I’m not a coach. It might affect your time on the ice or the way you practice before a game.”
My shoulders drop, but it could be worse. I can handle that.
“Anyway, before we panic, let’s get you checked out.”
“Sooooo?” Seth says as he meets me in the hallway, a hesitant expression on his face.
“Don’t you have other clients to annoy?” I snap, walking straight past him toward the locker room. The last thing I want to do right now is talk about my shitty test results.
“I do,” Seth says, easily catching up beside me. “But none of them have issues like you do,” he adds.
I keep walking, not even bothering to dignify that with an answer, and Seth laughs.
“Okay, lots of them have issues, but none of them need me at this very moment.”
“I don’t need you.”
I can feel Seth’s “bullshit” expression without looking his way, so I wave my hand in the air, letting him get it over with. “Say what you’ve got to say, but understand, I’m not in the mood.”
“You need me because your results weren’t good, and the woman causing your stress is somewhere in San Francisco.”
