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“What?”
“Jesse. You were with Jesse before both dreams.”
“Not the half one.”
Sara glares at me, making sure I know it doesn't change her point.
“Okay, what are you trying to say?”
“Maybe you need to spend time with him to see if he triggers something else.”
What?!“I just told you I don’t want to remember anymore.”It hurts too much.
“But maybe youneedto. For closure.” Ugh, I hate that I also came to this conclusion the last time I remembered something. Only now, it’s not the same.
“That seems a little backward for moving forward. We just said our goodbyes. Seeing Jesse is the last thing I want to do.”
“Willow, you and I both know that’s not the end of you and Jesse.”
“We do?” I ask, folding my arms over my chest before staring her down. I’m trying to be confident, but Sara sees right through it for what it is—protection—a shield against the feelings I don’t want to let in.
“I’m not going to use the L word, but you care about him. You may be angry with him right now. But you care. A lot.”
“I don’t even know if I’m angry. I’m just tired. And hurt by all the lies.”
“That’s totally expected. No one is saying you can’t feel that way. Or that your feelings aren’t valid. But you can’t pretend that this distance between you is forever. It’s not going to help you heal.”
“I can, and I will.”
“God, there’s that stubbornness again.”
“This is me.” I point to my chest. “This is who I truly am. I was just playing the part of someone else for a while.”
“It’s funny because I became friends with the ‘pretend’ you,” Sara says, using quote fingers. “The person you became,” she adds, and the guilt hits me, knowing I was partially fake with her too.
“God, Sara. I—”
“I like this version of you,” she says, cutting me off. “Even more… and I kind of feel like we’re closer.”
She smiles and it’s so infectious that I smile back, my first for the day. Because she’s right. “I’m glad you like thismemore, because you’re stuck with her. I need you.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” she says, hugging me again as her smile widens.
I smile back, but something painfully tugs at my heart because…That’s what Jade always said.
A few days pass without another memory, so I start to relax again, but it’s never far from my mind. Jesse’s never far from my mind. Probably because everyone keeps inadvertently bringing him up when they talk about a certain social media post. Not that I can complain about the sales.
I’m once again restocking the scent Jesse promoted when Mom’s friend Maeve enters, a smile on her face.
“Willow, Sara. How are you both on this fine morning?” she asks cheerily.
“Wonderful, thank you, Maeve,” Sara responds as I make my way back to the counter. “How about you?”
“I’m alive. What’s not to be happy about?”
Maeve often speaks as though she’s close to dying. We’d probably gasp if she hadn’t been speaking like that since I was a kid.
“I just popped in for one of your ceramic vases. The damn cat broke my last one this morning, and I’ve had my eye on your pink floral vase for weeks. I guess I should call it fate.”
