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My head falls back against the wall, and I bite my lips to silence myself as my body convulses against his touch, a wave of ecstasy running through me.
Jesse softly kisses my collarbone, then my neck, making his way up until he reaches my ear. “You are so goddamn beautiful, Willow,” he whispers. “God, I love you.”
My heart stops as I melt in his arms. It’s not the first time he’s told me he loves me, but it’s the first time I’ve heard it without the element of pain. And I love the sound.
I’m just not quite ready to say it back.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Jesse
Iprobablyshouldn’thavedone that there, but as soon as she told me she was done fighting, I kind of lost my mind. Just like I did when I saw that asshole harassing her on the ice. In fact, it’s safe to say, I’m a fucking mess when it comes to Willow.
But like always, all I see is her.
When I’d pushed her against the wall, I’d only planned to kiss her, but all good intentions went out the window the second she moaned my name. And now I need more.
After her breathing returns to normal, I help her tidy up and then we’re off again, beelining straight for the parking lot.
“Can you take me home?” Willow says when we reach my truck, and I freeze, wondering if I did the wrong thing.
“Yeah, ah…sure. You’re at Pippa’s, right?”
Willow giggles and steps closer, curling her arms around my waist as she rests her chin on my chest. She looks up at me through her thick lashes, her mesmerizing eyes locking with mine as the smallest of smiles tugs at her lips. “I meantyourhome,” she says, briefly biting her lip, something she does when she’s nervous. “I want us to be together, and I don’t just mean tonight.”
I bite back a triumphant grin as I slide my hands into her hair, pressing my mouth to hers in a slow and explorative kiss. Willow moans when I suck her lip, and I feel it in my chest. We’ve kissed before, but this one holds a feeling of promise—of a future—and I’ve never felt anything like it.
After a moment, I reluctantly pull back, because if I don’t, I’m likely to take it too far, and we’re not protected by a wall and ice resurfacer here. “Let’s get you home,” I whisper against her lips, her answering smile making me chuckle.
It’s only a short drive to my apartment, but long enough for me to absentmindedly start singing again. Willow smiles beside me, waiting until I’m finished before she speaks. “Do you do that often?” she asks, with her finger resting against her bottom lip, drawing my eyes there.
“Only when I’m happy.”
“So, yes?” she questions with a nervous laugh, looking away.
I consider saying yes to ease her mind, but if we’re even going to work as a couple, I can’t hold back like I usually do. She should know every part of me. The good, the bad, and the darkness. “Actually no, hardly ever,” I say honestly, briefly glancing her way.
She nods, but I can see that she’s lost in thought, her bottom lip bearing the brunt of her worry as she bites down.
“Will you tell me about it?” she asks hesitantly, squeezing one hand with the other, something else she does when she’s uncomfortable. While I’m sure she suspects I’ve got a story to tell, she couldn’t possibly imagine how dark it is, and I’m terrified of how she’ll react. But I have to tell her. No more secrets.
“Of course,” I whisper, untangling her fingers so I can hold her hand, hoping to stop the pain she’s about to inflict on herself. “I want to tell you everything.”
But there’s so much to say and I have so little time with her.While we’ve thankfully got our next game in San Francisco, after that I’m traveling for a week. Willow lives in Oregon, nowhere near any of my games. It’s going to be hard to make this work in the coming months, but God, am I going to try.
“The first thing I need to tell you is that my life for the next six months is going to be hectic. I’ve got three to four games a week from now until April and then we hope to make the playoffs. I want us to be together, but in an effort at full transparency, I’m going to be an absent boyfriend for a while.”
Willow covers her mouth as she tries to hide her expression, and at first I think she’s upset until her smiling eyes look up at me. “Did you just say you're my boyfriend? Did that really just escape the lips of renowned playboy Jesse Hastings?”Jesus, it did.But the sass on her.
I roll my eyes and squeeze her hand. “I take it all back. I forgot how annoying you are.”
“Shut up, you love me.” She jokes but it’s true.
“I do.” I smile. “So, back to the serious stuff.”
“I know you’ve got a life, Jesse. I didn’t come here to try and railroad that, or change you. I live in another state. I run a business. I know this is going to be hard, but if you’re happy to try, I want to make it work. Somehow. Lucky we have phones.”
She waves her phone in the air just as it beeps with a text. “Lucky indeed.”
