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It didn’t really matter what Jake thought, although of course she wanted his approval, but she was willing to fight for what she wanted. Her life was hers and no one else’s, unless she chose to give them control over it. Like she wanted to with Patrick. Even if Jake was upset at first, honestly, she thought it would make him a pretty shitty big brother and best friend if he let some weird, protective emotions keep her and Patrick from being happy.
Because after last night, Lexie knew Patrick made her very, very happy. The scene had been exactly the kind of thing she’d always fantasized about. Parts of her body still throbbed and ached a little bit, and she relished every second of the lingering effects. This was how she was meant to feel. Knowing she was going to be working at the club tonight excited her more than usual, like there was extra meaning behind her presence there.
Last night’s scene hadn’t completely fulfilled her, of course, because Patrick hadn’t actually touched her with his hands or lips until the scene was over, but the hope it engendered was enough. For now.
Being back behind the front desk at Stronghold after her first training session was making Lexie antsy. It wasn’t boring, not with all the people coming in wearing their interesting outfits, and most of them wanted to stop and talk with her, but she felt a restlessness she hadn’t experienced before. The faint, throbbing beat of music coming through the walls had her dancing and entertaining Jared with her jerky movements, but it was the only way she could expend some of the energy building up inside of her.
She wanted so badly to be back inside the club. Even if she couldn’t scene, she wanted to watch. To observe. To learn. Now that she’d actually experienced two scenes, she wanted to see more of how other couples interacted. IT was a bit like having a taste of chocolate. Just a small taste. Enough to make her crave more, and even if she couldn’t eat the chocolate herself, she wanted to know everything about it until the next time she could have some of her own chocolate. Okay, maybe it wasn’t a great analogy, but she really couldn’t think of how else to explain it. Just that she wanted to surround herself with the sights and sounds of BDSM until it was her turn again. It felt weird to crave living vicariously through others, but it would still be better than sitting at the front desk and being shut out entirely.
She stroked the training collar around her neck. Patrick had said to wear it whenever she came to the club, and he hadn’t excluded work from his statement, so she had it on tonight. Just having it on made her feel good, but it also made her even more restless.
“Can’t you sit still?” Jared’s deep voice was tinged with both amusement and frustration, his dark eyes fixed on her from across the room.
Lexie grasped her desk with both hands, trying to control the urge to kick her legs some more. “Sorry. Too much energy.”
“What did you do, drink a pot of coffee before coming here?”
“No... just...” Her frustration swirled. “How can you bear it? Standing outside the door... don’t you want to go in?”
The big guy looked at her, a little sadly. “Go in and play with no one? No, I’d rather be out here where I can at least be useful.”
Guilt settled her down a bit. Jared’s on-again, off-again submissive and girlfriend had been out of town for weeks now. Granted, he always seemed happier when she was gone and he could do his own thing, but he was also completely faithful to her. Not that she deserved it. The bitch. Marissa had a habit of wanting an open relationship while they were apart. Jared would scene, then, but he never actually dated any of the subs. Just got his needs met.
All the submissives in the club knew Jared was always good for a cuddle or a shoulder to cry on or a supportive hug. Whenever he was free to play, they were lining up for it. Unfortunately, every time, Marissa would just sink her claws back into him and he’d go along with it. Lexie couldn’t understand why he bought into her manipulations every single time. Then again, she thought, not everyone could understand her patience with waiting for Patrick to come around.
“Sorry,” she said, feeling bad that she’d reminded him of his own relationship issues. “I’m just antsy.”
Jared looked at her with sympathy in his eyes, and also a bit of big-brotherly resignation. “I really wish I didn’t understand, but I do.”
“You guys will get used to me scening here eventually,” Lexie said, giving him her brightest smile and hoping to distract him from any troubling thoughts she’d brought up for him. “You’ll have plenty of time to.”
“Great.” Sarcasm laced the word and he gave an exaggerated groan, but he actually didn’t seem too upset about it or anything. Just kind of resigned and maybe a little uncomfortable. Then again, he, more than any of the other guys, probably understood what it was like to be constantly denied a need. When it came to relationship issues, Jared had them in spades.
“So when is Marissa coming home?” Lexie asked, curious. She did her best to keep her dislike for the other woman out of her voice.
“Next week.” He didn’t look super excited about it. Lexie debated pointing that out, but figured he probably was getting enough of that from the other guys.
“That’s good,” she said, noncommittally. “Jake’s coming home in October.”
Jared flashed a grin, a reaction notably missing when talking about his girlfriend returning. “I’ve heard. It’ll be good to see him again.” He raised his eyebrow at her. “What’s he going to think about you being here?”
“Doesn’t really matter,” Lexie retorted, smirking. “There’s nothing he could say that would make me stop.” Her expression grew more serious. “I need this. Just like you guys. If not here, I’ll find it elsewhere.”
The gruffly protective look he gave her was exactly what she’d expected. She didn’t mean the words as a threat though, they were just the truth. Denying a part of herself hadn’t worked out for her and there was no way she was going to make herself miserable just for the Sentinels’ comfort. They just had to deal with the fact that she was just as much a kinky bitch as they all were.
The front door opened, letting in a mass of people all at once. Lexie grinned, sitting up and smiling.
It was another two hours before things really slowed down again, and Lexie was kept hopping way more than she was during her day job. She didn’t just greet people, check them in, and take their coats, she was also in charge of the Theme Rooms. It never ceased to amaze her how many dominants procrastinated on setting up some time in a Theme room, waiting until they arrived to see what was open. Then, if they’d brought some of their own equipment, she was in charge of making sure the bag ended up in the right room at the right time. Other submissives who worked at the club did the actual running for her, but she had to know whose bag was whose and where and when they needed to go. A few carried their bags around with them, but most preferred not to be burdened until they were ready to actually play.
So once things started getting busy, Lexie rarely stopped. Especially because people always wanted to chat a bit too, before heading into the club. Now that she’d done a scene, people were even chattier than usual.
Her shift ended at eleven, at which point Miranda came out of the club to take over. Lexie could immediately tell the other woman had done a scene earlier in the evening; she looked both flushed and satisfied. Envy trickled through her, but she knew going into the club without Patrick was just going to be a letdown. There was no way she was going to break their agreement not to play with others, and if she went in without him, he’d probably just take it as a direct challenge and send her home. That kind of stunt was considered topping from the bottom.
“Patrick wants to see you in his office,” Miranda said cheerfully, as she hopped up onto the seat Lexie had just vacated.
“Oh... okay, thanks.” The words tumbled out as surprise and curiosity wrapped around her. She also felt a lot perkier than she had a minute ago. Patrick wanted to see her, huh? That was new and different. Normally he didn’t take the time to say goodbye at the end of her shift.
Her perkiness lasted less than five seconds once she actually walked into his office. The big bastard was sitting behind his desk, working on some papers, and he didn’t even glance up when she came in. She drank him in with her eyes, kind of hating how her attraction to him sizzled when he hadn’t even acknowledged her presence. The soft, white cotton shirt he was wearing clung to his body, his muscles, and made a gorgeous contrast to his dark skin.
