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Yeah, that got a little flicker of something which looked a lot like jealousy when she said ‘my dominant.’ Patrick didn’t want to think about someone else being her dominant. It was the little moments like that which gave her hope for them.
To her relief, he relaxed and smiled at her. “Thank you for being honest.”
Okay, seriously? That’s all he was going to say? What about him?
“Is it something you would want? Every night?” she asked. Yeah, maybe she shouldn’t be pushing, but she needed to know dammit. Had she just ruined her chances with him? Even though she knew his past girlfriends hadn’t been able to meet his needs, that some of them had called him a control freak before they went running, she never knew the specific incidents which set them off. Patrick never talked about them, as far as she knew. She’d always taken it for granted that she knew Patrick, but right now, she was realizing there were some facets to him she didn’t know at all.
While she had an idea in her head about what it meant to him to be totally in charge of the relationship, to have a full-time submissive, maybe she was wrong about that. Maybe he wanted to feed his submissive every night, or even every meal. There were a lot of ways to live the lifestyle, and just because she thought she knew him and could guess at his preferences, that didn’t mean she would guess right.
The silence between them stretched, and she wondered if he was even going to answer, when he finally gave a little nod.
“Probably not every night. I do like to provide for... my submissive.” This time it was Lexie’s turn to feel a little flash of jealousy, and by the gleam in his eye, she knew she hadn’t entirely hidden it. “Which, sometimes, to me means cooking her a meal and feeding it to her. It’s something which I would enjoy on a regular basis, but not necessarily every night.”
“How often is a regular basis?” That was Maria’s advice. Be specific. Don’t assume anything. Good advice from Maria, considering some of the things she’d assumed about Rick when she first met him. Mostly that he was a womanizer and he’d never be into her, and then she’d assumed a lot about BDSM. Although, it was also partly Rick’s fault for not talking to her about a lot of stuff, and she hadn’t asked because she hadn’t known the right questions. Lexie knew the right questions.
“A couple times a week.”
She could live with that. It was hard to keep her mouth shut and remind herself that she and Patrick weren’t negotiating a contract or a relationship. They were just talking. But she also knew he would be taking note of everything she said, of every small reaction she had, and analyzing it. The big guy practically seemed psychic sometimes with how well he could read facial cues and body language. Lexie could sometimes hide things from him, but right now she wasn’t trying. This was too important for hiding.
“Do you ever expect your submissives to cook for you?” She asked the question, even though she was pretty sure she knew what the answer was. It was why she’d been practicing cooking with Justin for the past few months.
“Sometimes.” Patrick’s teeth flashed in his dark face, gleaming white in a predator’s smile. “Preferably wearing nothing but an apron.”
His face suddenly changed, going blank, and Lexie had to stop herself from crowing with delight. Yeah, he definitely hadn’t meant to say that. This time, the silence was fraught with tension, both sexual and not, as they stared at each other across the table. Were both of them picturing her, in nothing but an apron, cooking for him? She hoped so. She really, really did.
Patrick broke their staring contest first, glancing down at his watch. “It’s getting late, you should probably head home.”
She could see the clock in his kitchen from where she was sitting. They’d been sitting, eating and talking for almost two hours. If she wanted time to wind down at home before getting into bed, then he was right. He knew she liked to go to bed early on the nights she wasn’t manning the front desk of Stronghold. It made up for the late nights the rest of the week.
Part of her wanted to say she was fine, that she should stay, but she decided a tactical retreat was better at this point. Let Patrick keep stewing. It seemed to be working.
Cleaning up his kitchen, Patrick’s mind wandered, as it always did when he was doing mundane chores. He liked cooking for his subs, and having them cook for him, but he would have been happy to give up doing dishes any day. Maybe he should have mentioned that to Lexie and seen if she would have stayed to do them.
Smirking, he rinsed the soap off of the pot he was currently washing and put it on the drying rack.
He’d ended tonight feeling reassured about her. Lexie was a submissive, and she had a crush on him, but she wasn’t a pushover either. When he’d first asked her how he felt about the dinner, he already knew. He’d been paying attention to every nuance of her reactions throughout the evening. What he’d wanted to know was if she would tell the truth about it. Because even though he made it his business to be able to read people, he wasn’t infallible. Also, he wanted to know how far she’d be willing to go.
That she wasn’t willing to lie made him feel better. She’d spoken honestly and sincerely and had been up front about her needs. A relationship with him couldn’t work any other way. As much as he needed his sub to be... well, submissive, he also needed to know he was fulfilling her needs as well, and she wasn’t feeling resentful or smothered, but that she appreciated him and his dominance over her.
Although he could tell Lexie hadn’t loved the way they’d eaten dinner tonight, she could enjoy it to some extent, and she’d be willing to do it more often than her preference as long as it wasn’t all the time. No couple was perfect, the key was finding compromises so they could both be happy. Feeding her was something he was willing to compromise on as well. The important thing was knowing they could communicate honestly about it.
He really had enjoyed feeding her though. Tormenting himself as he’d placed each bite of food between her lips. Trying to keep his gaze from falling to the silver gleam of her nipple piercings too often. Having her under his control, with her acceptance and encouragement. He wasn’t like Liam, who rarely engaged in anything other than honor bondage, but Patrick did like to see a woman who was willing to hold herself the way he wanted her to without restraints or ropes. Doing it for his pleasure and nothing else.
Having Lexie under his command was a rush like nothing he’d felt before. At the same time, it had also felt settled. Domestic. Comforting. Everything he’d always wanted his home life to be.
Fuck he was getting in deep.
Rinsing off the last pot, Patrick decided to go take a shower. Maybe it was pathetic to be jerking off to nothing more than the memory of her eating from his hand, but that’s exactly what he was going to be doing in five minutes.
Cradling her phone between her ear and her shoulder, Lexie poured her cooked noodles from the pot into the colander to drain away the water. It wasn’t the most comfortable position, but she didn’t want to put Leigh on speakerphone either, it was too hard to hear that way. The other woman had called to chat. Lexie got the feeling Leigh had a bunch of free time she didn’t quite know what to do with, and she was feeling lonely in her apartment now that Michael had moved most of his things out.
“I just don’t know what to do with myself sometimes,” Leigh admitted, sounding forlorn. “It’s easier on the weekends when I can hang out with people, but on the weeknights not everyone’s available. I can only hang out with Angel so much.”
“Adam’s not giving you any trouble, is he?” Lexie asked, surprised. Adam’s protective side usually encompassed every one he cared about, and she’d always thought he liked Leigh. Picking up the colander, she poured the spaghetti noodles back into the pan so she could mix in some sauce.
Leigh laughed, reassuring her. “No, he’s been awesome. I think he’d be totally fine if I was over there every night, but you know. It’s hard. I feel like I’m imposing and taking away the time they’re supposed to have together. Plus, I don’t want them to feel like they have to tone down their affection for each other in front of me or anything. But it does hurt sometimes to watch them. It makes me remember the way Michael used to be. And then it makes me remember how he stopped being that way.”
“Yeah, I can get that,” Lexie said sympathetically. She knew the ‘third-wheel’ feeling all too well. Fortunately, Patrick’s presence usually meant she wasn’t totally out on her own, but it wasn’t like they were together. Watching the other Stronghold couples made her yearn. They didn’t even realize how stinking cute they all were together. Even Andrew, the most die-hard bachelor of the group, was starting to look a little envious sometimes. “Kind of sickening aren’t they?”
