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Maria had whispered the advice to not scene with anyone tonight. Not like she’d been going to anyway, but it bothered her Maria seemed to think Lexie would even need to be told. Why did everyone think they got a say in her actions?
Andrew hadn’t said a word to her all night. He’d just glared. At least Adam managed to act a little more naturally. Liam and Hilary both seemed kind of stilted talking to her, which meant they’d heard something too. Unfortunately, Justin, Chris and Jessica had stayed home... she felt like she could have counted on Jessica to have her back at least. Then again, she didn’t need more disapproving stares sent her way by the guys, so maybe it was better the triad didn’t come.
She didn’t realize, at first, that Olivia didn’t seem too happy with her either. That hurt more than any of the others. Olivia always had the girls’ backs, but tonight, she seemed to be avoiding talking with Lexie. Even if she wasn’t looking at her disapprovingly, the way the guys were, Lexie felt it just as much. Dammit, what made her situation different?
Finally she’d had enough, and when Olivia headed to the women’s locker room, Lexie followed. She was waiting by the sinks when Olivia came out of the bathroom stall. The Domme lifted her eyebrows when she saw Lexie standing there, but she didn’t look at all perturbed.
“Are you avoiding me?” Lexie asked bluntly. She didn’t really feel like trying to tiptoe around the subject.
She hadn’t thought Olivia’s eyebrows could climb higher, but they did. Just the look Olivia gave her made Lexie feel like shrinking into herself a little bit.
“I’m not.”
“You haven’t talked to me all night,” Lexie accused.
Olivia huffed a soft laugh as she turned on the water, bending over the sink to wash her hands. “I’ve been involved in conversations with other people, Lex. You could have come joined in if you wanted to.”
“No one wants to talk to me, except Angel and Leigh,” she said, a little miserably, watching Olivia soap and rinse her hands. It was easier to admit that when she wasn’t looking the other woman in the eyes, because she didn’t want to see pity or approval or... who knew what else. “Even Hilary was being weird with me.”
“What did you expect?” Olivia asked, picking up a paper towel, watching Lexie as she dried her hands. “You and Patrick had a major blow up. Did you really think it wouldn’t affect the rest of the group?”
“Why should it?” Lexie asked irritably. “It’s our lives, no one else’s.”
“We’re your friends. Both of your friends. People are bound to feel more sympathy towards one person over the other, it’s human nature. The guys especially don’t know what to do, because they feel protective over you, but right now their sympathies are with Patrick.”
Lexie made an exasperated sound, frustrated with the whole situation. “So what do I do?”
“Deal with it. Either go and make up with Patrick or accept it’s going to be awkward for a bit while everyone tries to figure out how they’re supposed to act and what is and isn’t okay to say. They’re trying not to butt into your business.”
The matter-of-fact tone and lack of sympathy rankled, putting Lexie’s back up. “That’s not true, they’re all glaring at me. I think that counts as butting into my business.”
The look Olivia gave her was somewhere between disdainful and pitying. “You’re the one who wanted Patrick, pushed him into training you, and then ran out without even talking to him on Thursday. Not only that, but you didn’t even call him back or text him when he tried to contact you. Then you showed up here tonight with another dominant and no collar. To me it looks like you’re trying to force him into some kind of action, but I have no idea what. There are consequences to your actions, Lexie. You insist everyone should treat you like an adult. They are now. Despite the fact that you came here tonight for nothing more than a childish game with Patrick. Did you really think we were all just going to overlook you showing up, disrespecting him and trying to force him into the role you want him to play? If I wasn’t your friend, I would have blasted you out there in front of everyone for that bullshit. You’re better than this kind of manipulative game Lexie, or you should be.”
A tight ache filled Lexie’s chest, pushing her dangerously close to tears as Olivia walked past and out of the room. So even if Olivia said she hadn’t been avoiding Lexie, it was clear she was on Patrick’s side about this. Lexie was acting like an adult, she knew there would be consequences to her actions, but she thought her friends would give her the benefit of the doubt too. She didn’t think they’d turn on her.
Then again, she hadn’t really thought through coming here tonight, had she? She’d just taken for granted that everyone would act like they always did – protective of her and indulgent of whatever mess she got herself into. She’d just assumed they’d have her back, no matter what she did or how she acted… Maybe Olivia’s words had hit so hard because there’d been a large measure of truth to them.
Something about showing up tonight had definitely royally pissed Olivia off. She was a mother-hen to all the subs, but if she really thought they’d done something wrong… well a mother-hen was no stranger to tough love. Lexie had just gotten a big dose of it herself, something she couldn’t remember ever happening before.
Gripping the sink next to her, she took several deep breaths, pushing back the tears threatening. She was not going to cry. Turning, she leaned forward, staring at her face in the mirror. Although her eyes looked a little watery, there was no other outward indication that Olivia’s words had upset her.
She took a couple more deep breaths before straightening up and putting her shoulders back. Olivia wanted her to accept the consequences for her actions, huh? Okay, fine. A few of her friends were pissed. She would go home and give them the time to get over it and figure out how to act around her. Even if Hilary was being a little weird, and Olivia and the guys thought she’d done something wrong, they wouldn’t abandon her or shut her out. Olivia hadn’t told her to fuck off, she’d just wanted Lexie to own up to her actions. She could do that. She’d had arguments with all of them at one point or another, including Patrick. Maybe not quite like this, but eventually things would go back to normal if she just acted normal.
Maybe Olivia was right and she’d been taking things too personally. Her emotions were just too raw right now. Time to go home and regroup. If she felt up to it, she’d come back next week and try again.
Hopefully by then she and Patrick would have at least talked to each other.
The cheerful chime, indicating an incoming call, made Patrick’s muscles tighten in tense anticipation. He hit the accept button on his computer and came face to face with his best friend. Jake raised his eyebrows.
“Damn. You look like shit.”
“I look better than I feel,” Patrick said, his voice grating. Last night had been another late night, minus the alcohol. He’d just had trouble sleeping. Every time he closed his eyes, he’d seen Lexie, walking into Stronghold without her collar. As good as he was at reading people’s body language, he still couldn’t quite figure out her motivation. She’d looked defiantly at him, as if she expected him to come over and kick her out... or maybe come over and drag her off to a theme room?
But, even though she hadn’t said a safe word, she’d effectively ended whatever they had between them when she’d left the way she had on Thursday. Still, he had debated all night whether or not he’d done the right thing by hunkering down in his office, instead of talking to her. Not that he’d really wanted to talk to her with everyone else around. Besides which, he didn’t want to validate her tactic of trying to top from the bottom and pushing him into talking with her, which she’d obviously been trying to do. Forcing him to stake a claim the last time she’d come in with Michael had basically worked in her favor, so she’d tried to do it again. As a Dom, he couldn’t let her get away with that kind of manipulation. Plus, he’d still needed to talk to Jake.
None of those justifications had made it any easier to sleep.
“What’s up? Although I’m pretty sure I know.” Jake’s expression turned more serious as he folded his hands down on the table in front of him.
