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“She’s not Aubrey, though,” he said.
I huffed a dark laugh. “Not even close. Alex is everything I never knew I wanted, needed. She’s blatantly honest in the most endearing way, and she understands me better than I understand myself sometimes. And the woman is so damn selfless, almost to a fault. She gives every ounce of her time and her whole heart to those in need, without looking for anything in return. And we laugh. Fuck, we laugh so much together. She’s…”
“Perfect?” Cross offered when I couldn’t finish.
“For me…I think so.”
“Damn man,” he said. “I never thought that would happen. With the bet stuff, I never actually thought you’d fall for the girl. I thought you’d both mutually have a good time and then move on like usual. I didn’t realize it would get this complicated.”
“I know,” I said. “I didn’t expect it either.”
“And you haven’t told her because?”
“I’m terrified,” I admitted.
What Aubrey had done to me had stuck around for longer than I’d like to admit, and her betrayal had been the source of some serious trauma I’d never truly acknowledged before Alex had come around.
“Looking back,” I continued. “Comparing what I felt for Aubrey to what I now feel for Alex…” I sighed. “I loved Aubrey in the way you love your first serious girlfriend. But Alex?” I shook my head, struggling to put into words what I felt for her. “I could spend every day of my life being the best man I know how to be, and I still wouldn’t be worthy of her. She runs deep in my veins, in a way that is addictive and consuming, which gives her all the power to destroy me that would make what Aubrey did look like a silly little prank.”
“Fuck,” Cross said. “Love sounds awful.”
I laughed, and he did too, helping lift the weight hanging over me. “It’s not,” I said. “I thought that too, before Alex. But she makes me feel like the risk of getting broken all over again is worth it. She’s worth it.”
“Sounds like it,” Cross said. “Have you told Gareth yet?”
I shook my head. “I haven’t told anyone.”
“Aww,” Cross said in a mocking tone as he covered the center of his chest with his hands. “I feel so special.”
“Fuck off,” I said, but chuckled.
“Seriously though,” he said. “Life is short. You love her, she loves you, just go for it. You’re one of the strongest guys I know. She doesn’t seem the type to hurt you, but you said yourself she’s worth it.”
“I know,” I said. “I’ll tell her, but when it feels right. I don’t want her to think it’s out of obligation. Plus, there is every chance she could see me for the asshole I am and hit the road.”
Cross snorted. “She’s certainly already seen your asshole self,” he said. “Hell, you can Google that shit.”
I rolled my eyes.
“She would’ve run already. You know that. She even broke her thirty-day rule for you.” He sighed. “Sounds like you’re in the Asher and Wes club now. All love-struck. I swear if it’s an epidemic, I’m going to punch you in the throat.”
“Trust me,” I said. “None of us expect seeing you with anyone regular. You can hardly keep it to just one a day, let alone one for a few months.”
He shrugged. “I’m upfront about my intentions.”
“No one said you weren’t.”
He took an obvious step away from me, and I tilted my head.
“Just in case it is an epidemic,” he said.
I laughed and flipped him off.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I shouted, my blood absolutely boiling at the call the ump had just made. “Is your head buried in your ass? He was out!”
The umpire spun around, fastening me with a look that I recognized easily. One more fucking word and I’d cross a line I wouldn’t come back from. But fucking hell, the guy had been on our ass all game, and we’d just gotten the runner out, but he’d called him safe.
I raked my fingers through my hair, pacing the dugout. The angle gave me a perfect view of Alex hurrying down the stadium stairs, just arriving at the game. She looked amazing in a pair of blue jeans and a Hurricanes baseball tee, her hair half-pulled back, the rest hanging over her shoulders, her full lips a bright red.
Fuck, had she heard me yell at the ump?
I took a deep breath, turning back to where the ump was still waiting to see if I’d blow up, likely wanting to record it and capitalize on the scene.
I waved him off, and he nodded, returning focus to the game.
“He was out,” Alex said the second I’d climbed the steps to greet her.
I smiled at her. “You’re the perfect woman.”
“Still trying to get me to fall for you, Ethan Berkley?”
“Always,” I said, planting her lips with a quick kiss.
