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"Yeah," Jakob confirmed. "But this is the kind of stuff I mean. I don’t know any of the guys you’ve dated, aside from helping cover for you at practice that day you and Dennis Franklin both played hooky in the eleventh grade. It doesn’t seem fair. You should… You're not — " Jakob took a breath, trying to put his thoughts in order. "You've never brought any dates back here. That's… It's not because of me, is it?"
"Naw," Ethan replied with a dismissive flick of his hand. "Don't worry about it."
"But it's your room as much as mine," Jakob argued. "Just give me a heads upwhen to clear out."
"No, I mean… It’s not because of you, or that I don’t want to. Be a lot easier, sure," Ethan said with a self-deprecating laugh, and even in the dim light, Jakob could make out the way those plush lips twisted bitterly. "Too many questions if someone saw us in the hall, though. Not worth the risk."
"Oh," Jakob murmured, and suddenly that phantom touch where Ethan's hand had previously been was an unignorable, aching absence.
Ethan sighed. "Easier to fuck at their place, unless it's just something quick behind a bar. Bench seat in my truck's pretty handy, too."
This last had Ethan's eyes flicking toward Jakob's face, checking for his reaction.
Jakob shifted, clearing his throat. Ethan had gotten a reaction all right, though probably not the one he had thought he would get with how anxious his face looked at that moment. Jakob couldn't help but wonder how many guys Ethan had been with in that truck, almost as familiar as his own. Had Jakob sat where they…
"Why?"
"Huh?" Jakob asked, confused.
"Why do you want to know?" Ethan demanded, a look of honest curiosity on his face. "Why now, I mean? You've never been curious before."
Well, that's not the truth.
"I, um… I saw you," Jakob admitted. "Behind the garage at the party last week. He uh… You both looked…"
Gorgeous. Fucking hot. Like my wet dreams come true.
"…as if, um — as if you were enjoying it," Jakob finished lamely.
"Oh," Ethan replied, swallowing. "We uh… Yeah. Didn't uh… I mean, you should've… 'M sorry."
"What in the world doyouhave to apologize for?" Jakob gaped at him. "I'm the one that should be saying sorry."
"I didn't… I don't want you to think…" Ethan crossed his arms over his chest, hunching inward as he scowled. "Don't want you to think differently of me, I guess."
Hoooboy,a bit late for that.But not — Jakob suspected — in the way Ethan feared. Because ever since that night? That little scene had been all Jakobcouldthink about.
"Hey, It doesn't change anything," Jakob promised Ethan fiercely, gripping his best friend's knee.
"Well, that's — that's good, then," Ethan huffed. "'Cause you're, uh… You're the person I'd want to have at my back. In anything."
"Same here," Jakob said, squeezing Ethan's knee for emphasis. "Always. And I'm — I'm sorry. I'm being… a nosy jerk, I guess. I just wanted to… Uh, never mind."
"You just want to know… What? What my sex life is like?" Ethan finished, an odd light in his eyes as he tilted his head.
White-hot with embarrassment, Jakob hung his head, nodding. He didn't trust himself to speak right then. He wasn't sure how he could make this moment more uncomfortable for them both, but that didn't mean he was eager to find out.
"It's only that… not a lot of straight guys want to know, is all," Ethan explained, slowly.
And oh boy, wasn't THAT something Jakob had been wrestling with enough already?
"It's sex," Jakob couldn't help but argue. "Any guy would be at least a little curious how…"
His words trailed off as Ethan shook his head no.
"Maybe, but… Not in my experience," Ethan said, giving Jakob a long, considering look. "How… How much of us did you see, Jakob? Exactly how long did you watch?"
Chapter 14
