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"Yeah, Sophia and I didn't last long. Just barely enough time for Cassie to come into our lives, really, before we figured out we do better as an occasional arrangement than we ever did setting up house together, do the whole atomic family thing. Honestly, I think I was just trying to prove something to myself," Jakob admitted to the contents of his mug, curling his fingers around it and feeling the warmth seep into his hands. "She was safe, y'know? But she's smart — smarter than I am, saw right through me. I mean… who wants to be someone's safe option?"
He leaned back as Ruby chose that moment to swoop in again; another flurry of cheery hospitality and perfunctory geniality, before leaving behind their very welcome breakfast in her wake.
"She's ambitious," Jakob continued, gesturing with his knife as he tucked into his food; Ethan mirroring him, still quietly listening. "Honestly, both my exes are, her and Reed. Always focused on their work, their careers, on networking. Kept dragging me to all these events. Parties, galas, conferences — you name it. Hated it, but… also couldn't seem to stay away from either of them. As if I was trying to fill some void, or…"
Jakob glanced up to see Ethan still watching him, both of his large forearms braced against the edge of their table as he stirred his coffee; listening, absorbing things like he always did. Gathering all the data, weighing all his options before he made a decision.
"Met Reed a couple years after Sophia and I split. I don't know. Guess I was looking for something… different. Still had my bullshit hat on too tight, though; still playing it safe, in a way. Stubborn as a mule, Frank used to call me. And I was. Still ignoring what I wanted for some image of what I thought I was supposed to be. Selfish of me, I get that now. But back then… I couldn't see he wasn't any more right for me than she was," Jakob said, suddenly unable to hold that gaze and glancing out the window instead.
He winced at the unexpected brightness of the sun, the universe's retribution for his cowardice. He couldn't look at Ethan, though. Couldn't bear to watch him realize what Jakob hadreallybeen searching for, all those years ago.
Might still be hoping to find, even now.
But that was… It was too soon. Or too late, maybe.
Jakob sighed.Only one way to find out.
"Tried though. Met him when he was playing in some backwater little club, but that didn't last long. He's a musician — goes by DJ Thee Ray?" He glanced at Ethan to see if he recognized the name, but Ethan just shook his head no, so Jakob plowed on. "Does all these remixes of other people's work? Some of them went viral and then… Anyway, it was — It was good for a while. Great, even. But then… It was just Sophia all over again. We wanted different things. Too different. So we called it quits."
Jakob glanced up at the ceiling, but its water-stained tiles were just as devoid of answers as the tabletop had been.
"I… I owe you an apology at the very least," he said, somehow finding enough courage to meet Ethan's eyes once more. "I didn't know who I was back then, didn't realize I could just — just let myself…"
He trailed off, unsure how to put it into words.
"Don't owe me shit, Jakob," Ethan finally rumbled into the silence, his brow drawn with lines of frustration. "We were both dumb kids trying to figure stuff out. Won't say no to a little groveling if it really makes you feel better, but… It's just good to talk to you again. Missed you, missed my friend."
Jakob poked at the remains of his plate for a moment, feeling Ethan's eyes on him.
He looked up, meeting that gaze, seeing the faint worry lurking in the depths. He took a deep breath, and —
"…justyour friend?" Jakob asked softly.
Chapter 6
Ethan's sudden inhale at Jakob's question was drowned out by a loud chirpy ringing coming from the phone he'd set down near his right elbow, the words "unknown caller" flashing across its screen.
He tore his gaze from Jakob's as he scrambled to decline the call.
"Fuck.Sorry, I — " Ethan started to apologize — only to be interrupted as his phone rang again.
"I —Fuck!" Ethan cursed, just loud enough to make the trio of suited customers at the next table glance over their shoulder at them, vaguely reproachful looks on their faces at his outburst.
Ethan blushed bright red in embarrassment, shifting lower in his seat as his phone got the same treatment as before. This time there was maybe a touch more aggression as a clearly frustrated Ethan declined the unknown caller yet again.
"You should get that," Jakob said over the ringtone, as Ethan's phone rang for athirdtime. He nodded towards the offending device, amused despite himself at his friend's predicament, a smile playing on his lips. "Could be an emergency."
"Don't see how. I don't evenknowthis number," Ethan grumbled under his breath, but he picked up the call, nonetheless.
Jakob sipped his coffee, trying to appear unconcerned — as if hehadn'tjust put his heart, raw and bleeding, on the table between them before the interruption.
"Hello?" Ethan practically growled into the phone. "Who's this?"
There was something so worrying about the way Ethan's shoulders had suddenly gone tense at hearing the caller's voice that Jakob found himself leaning forward in response.
"Alex?!" Ethan blurted out as his eyes went wide, apparently recognizing the caller after all. "How did you even get this — Okay, hold on, I — Are you safe? Well, can yougetsomewhere safe?"
Jakob's attention was locked on Ethan's face as the other man listened to whoever was on the other end of the phone. He saw Ethan's natural tones go ashen at this 'Alex's' response.
