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How he felt wasn’t exactly rational. Shep knew that. It was a dark, ugly feeling that lived inside him, feeding off old hurts.
“Can we drop it?” Shep dealt with it best by not thinking about it.
The fact was, Julio, Miles, and Charlie weren’t the only people Shep had been too late to save.
“I won’t let you hide up here, stewing on shit that wasn’t your fault,” Vander said with an edge to his voice. “That’s a promise.”
Vander shot him a hard look, then swiveled and headed over to talk to the FBI.
Shep released a breath.Fuck. When Vander Norcross made a promise, he kept it.
Fucking fuck.
No. Nothing was going to get him to leave his mountain. He was where he needed to be. Alone, with no dramas, no hassles, and no responsibilities.
CHAPTERNINETEEN
Boone swung the axe, chopping the log cleanly. He needed more wood for the fire.
Snow had been falling for the last few days, leaving the farm coated in white. Although today, they had a blue sky and some sunshine.
He smiled. Lately, chopping wood wasn’t always about escaping from his demons. Sure, he still had some nightmares and bad moments which sent him out here to punish the logs. But mostly, he just came out here to chop wood to keep the fire burning and Gemma smiling.
His smile widened. His new favorite pastime was making love to her in front of the fireplace. She always locked poor Atlas in the bedroom first.
Christmas was coming soon. For the first time in years, he was excited for the holiday. He’d already cut down a tree with Gemma. She’d taken over an hour to pick the perfect one. She had plans to cook and bake and decorate.
The last few weeks together had been some of the happiest of his life.
The best thing was that Gemma seemed to love it here. She baked a lot, testing and formulating new recipes. She was planning to open her bakery sometime in the new year, although she still hadn’t committed to a date. He could tell she was still a little nervous, although her father had helped her with the business plan.
As she’d predicted, Paul tried to be over ambitious and started talking about expansion opportunities. After a few heated discussions, she’d managed to convince him that she wanted to keep her bakery small and intimate.
She had started a Vermont chapter of Angel Cakes. Every week she baked a cake or two to take to local hospitals, sick kids, and foster homes. She made him so damn proud that she was his.
Yes, he was happy. He looked up at the winter sun. He knew that Julio, Charlie, and Miles were smiling down at him.
Gemma’s parents were coming for a visit in the new year. Boone winced. He was sure it would be fine, but he wasn’t convinced that rural Vermont was the Newhouses’ scene.
Luckily, her father had some business events to attend, so they’d only be staying a few days.
Toward the end of January, Boone was taking Gemma to meet Julio’s family. She’d already promised to bake Eddie a chocolate cake. Oh, and she’d almost convinced a grumpy Shep to come and visit them in Vermont, too.
Today, Boone had a gift to give to Gemma. Christmas was still too far away, and he didn’t want to wait any longer to give it to her.
He heard the cabin door open, then Atlas’ happy woof.
He set the axe down and turned. Atlas pranced through the snow, and Gemma followed behind the dog, wrapped in a loose cardigan and leggings, her feet in a pair of Boone’s boots. She had a red knit hat covering her hair and was carrying two mugs of hot chocolate. Best of all, she was smiling at him.
His chest swelled, and he knew exactly what that feeling was—happiness. Pure happiness threaded with love.
“Good morning, Ms. Newhouse.”
“Morning.”
He took the mugs from her and set them on one of the logs. When he straightened, she leaped into his arms and wrapped her legs around his waist.
He took her mouth in a deep, lazy kiss. She tasted like hot chocolate and peppermint, which she called her Christmas Candy Cane hot chocolate. He cupped her lovely ass as she speared her fingers into his hair.
