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What I do remember vividly is that nothing would help me forget her. I even tried hooking up with a girl once, just after Rebecca and I broke up. I was angry at her and at the world, and I just wanted to forget, so I drank my weight in alcohol, thinking it’d help. Thinking it might erase the look on Rebecca’s face from my mind. But my stomach revolted at the idea of making out with another girl, much less trying something else. And I mean it quite literally. Granted, it might have been the alcohol too. I think I traumatized the girl for life.
But that wasn’t the moment that snapped me out of my self-destructive ways. It was when the coach benched my ass for being sloppy on the field. I worked so freaking hard, and I was about to lose it all because I was being a heartbroken idiot? Would have to go back home with my tail tucked between my legs? Faceher? Hell to the no. That’s when I swore off all of it—the girls, the booze, the parties—and the nickname was born.
“You have an off-game, sure, but this is different. You’re distracted. It’s like your body is here, but your mind is only God knows where.”
I clench my teeth, irritated with this whole conversation. Mainly because he’s right. Not that I’d ever admit it out loud. “My mind is here,” I bite out, spinning on my heels.
I open my locker and shove my helmet inside before tugging my shirt over my head and tossing it toward the hamper closest to my locker.
“Then why are you so irritated? Wait, I know.” He claps his hands together, the sound echoing in the quiet room. “Does it have anything to do with that girl from a couple weeks ago?”
The hair at my nape stands, my fingers curling around the waistband of my pants.
“Wait, what? Monk has a girl?” Franco asks, the surprise evident in his voice.
“Yup, I’m pretty sure I heard a girl there when I called him to ask him when he’s planning to get his ass to summer camp,” Big J chuckles. “What happened? Did you finally get some pussy, and it messed with your mojo?”
I turn around and lunge at him, my fists wrapping around his jersey. “You don’t talk shit about her, you hear me, Callahan?” I growl into his face.
From the periphery, I can see my teammates shift closer as dead-quiet settles over the room. Well, apart from Big J’s laughter, that is.
“Oh, shit! You did. Didn’t you?” He laughs even harder, his arms slapping against his side. “You finally wet your dick after how many years again? It doesn’t even matter. Now she’s messed with your head, and you can’t play.”
“You’re playing with fire, Callahan,” Blake says next to us, the warning as clear as day.
“What? You can’t deny this is amusing. There is Monk no more. Now we’ll have to find you a new nickname.”
Sucking in a long breath, I force my fingers to uncurl,but before I let him go, I connect my palms to his chest and give him a not-so-gentle shove. “Just fucking stop it.”
A hand slaps me on the shoulder as Kyle, our safety, goes to the bathroom. “Don’t get your panties in a twist, Fernandez, and overthink it. This is a good thing. A good tumble in the sheets usually helps me chill after a hard day at work. You should try it. I’m sure it’ll be better next time.”
There will be no next time. There can’t be. My life is here, and hers is back in Bluebonnet. And after everything that had happened, everything that I know about her and about her mom, there is no way that I can ever ask her to leave. No matter how much I want to.
His comment makes a few people snort out a laugh.
What the hell is this? Junior high?
“Will you stop talking about her that way? She’s not just some groupie.”
“Damn, Fernandez.” Franco places his palms on my shoulders and shakes me. “You can’t go falling in love with the first girl you sink your cock into. You’re a Lonestar. Own it, man. There are a bunch of girls out there who’d kill to be with you.”
“Will you leave him alone already?”
Franco glances at Blake. “What do you know that we don’t?”
“He went back to his hometown.” This comment comes from Big J. I whip my head in his direction to find him drying his hair.
“What?” He shrugs. “You were back home when I called you the other day.”
Seriously, guys bitch about girls being gossips. Yeah, right.
“Oh, damn,” Franco groans. “You didn’t.”
“What?” I grit through clenched teeth, so sick of playing their games.
“This is even worse than I thought.”
I suck in a breath trying to keep my cool. “And how, pray tell, is this worse?”
