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“I know that,” I say quickly, putting my hand on her shoulder. “Don’t worry.”
She takes a little breath but I’m not sure it steadies her the way she was hoping. “I really don’t resent Lev, you know,” she mumbles.
I meet her eyes. “It’s okay if you did, though.” She opens her mouth to say something but I keep going. “And that doesn’t mean you don’t love him. It just means you’re fourteen and you’re human and you’re allowed to want things to be about you from time to time. That’s permitted, Pol.”
She looks at me uncertainly for a moment. Then she exhales noisily. “Thanks for that.”
I smile. “Have I told you lately that you’re an amazing sister?”
She blushes. “I don’t really do anything.”
“No, you don’t. You don’t complain. You don’t create trouble for me. You don’t argue and you don’t make everything about you.”
Her smile gets a little wider as I pull her into my arms and kiss the top of her head. She’s thin and gangly but I can see in her face the outlines of the woman she’s well on her way to becoming.
“You’re a great big brother, ya know?”
“Oh, I know.”
She laughs and mock-punches me in the chest. I walk her to the door where her bag is being loaded into the back of the bulletproof SUV that’s designated exclusively for her use.
“Why isn’t Lev allowed down to the basements during weekends?” Polly asks abruptly. She raises one eyebrow. “Or is it just the weekends I’m here? He told me about it. He wasn’t happy.”
Fucking hell.Just when I choose to place my bets that Lev doesn’t open up about much, he goes and proves me wrong in the most inconvenient way possible. “It’s not every weekend. It’s just on days when he gets really anxious.”
“I would have thought being out of the basement would make him moreanxious, not less.”
The girl is too smart by half. I’m going to have to think of another plan soon. Summer is just around the corner and that means Polly’s going to be here for months. There’s no way I’ll be able to keep Alyssa from her for that long unless I make alternate arrangements for my problematic little prisoner.
“He’s been having nightmares lately. It helps to have him sleep close to me just in case he needs me in the night.”
“Oh.” Her face drops. “What kind of nightmares?”
I feel like an asshole for lying to her about this. But it’s a necessary evil, a sin that I have to commit in order to protect her from… all the rest of it.
“Nightmares about the accident, as far as I can tell. He doesn’t like to talk about it.”
“Oh, God, they’re back, huh?” she asks, chewing on her bottom lip.
“Don’t worry about this. I’ve got it handled.”
She sighs and crosses her hands over her chest. She looks so much like Mom when she does that. “Of course I’m gonna worry, Uri. He’s my brother. And so are you.”
“Me? Why the hell are you wasting time worrying about me?”
She raises her eyebrows. “Because you can’t be everything for everyone all the time. You need something of your own. Something that feeds your soul.”
“I feed my soul plenty.”
“I’m not talking about the parade of women you bring through here.”
“Excuse me?”
She gives me a withering scowl. “I’m fourteen. I’m not stupid.”
“There’s no way you know about that unless—”
“People talk, big brother.”
