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The king stood, his movement slow and dangerous. His chair whined as his legs pushed it backward. “Jonat of Walworth is my oldest friend. We were almost raised together, we fought together, and he is the most trustworthy human on this continent. Do you think me so great a fool that I would offer our land to a monarch I didn’t trust? That I would hand over the wealth of two countries to our children if I didn’t have absolute confidence in his character? In our friendship? In our treaty? They loved your mother as well, lest you forget. It was her idea in the first place, and I will keep my promise to her!”
“You don’t think I’m ready to lead a meeting, not to mention inherit your throne or manage two kingdoms. You’ll probably rule the united kingdoms, and I’ll just be your puppet.”
“Of course you’re not ready!”
Killian rolled his head on his shoulders to dispel the surge of anger. “Of course? Do you not hear what I contribute to these meetings? Do you not see how the advisors respond to my recommendations? Do you not see how much I prepare?”
“What I see is a boy who is happy when the sun is out. But when things get hard, when you face a struggle, you quit.”
“I do not—”
“You have quit your whole life, son. After debating with Lord Godfrey this spring, you developed an illness on the day of the vote. When L’Hovat wanted to fight the trade agreements in the treaty, where were you? You were suddenly absent from the meetings.”
“I had to go to the northern outpost to fix an internal disruption.”
“You left to hide behind Lady Zalina.”
“Father!” Killian threw his hands in the air. “I was addressing the docking issues in the north and helping solve disagreements over trade!”
“I’m not blind, nor am I an idiot!” The king seethed. “Being a king is about endurance, patience, and wisdom. This is a job where you must fight for every victory, and never give up in the face of loss. You must never run. Never skirt the issues. You must fight. But you, you quit.” The king thumped his finger onto the table with each word. “You’re not ready.”
Killian reeled, Phineas’s own doubtful words ringing again. “Maybe you’re just afraid I’ll be a better king than you.”
“I hope you’ll be better than me. But you’re not yet ready.”
Ripping his papers off the table, Killian whirled and paced to the door. “I don’t quit. It’s not true. And you know it.”
His father called after him. “If you don’t quit when things are hard, then where, may I ask, is Lord Phineas?”
Killian halted for a moment before continuing on his way. “Goodbye, Father.” He pulled the door shut.
He stormed to his room, as the servants scurried out of his way. He didn’t quit. How else could he have become the best fighter among his men? Well, except for Phineas. How else could he have come up with solutions to so many of the recent disputes? And though Killian had to admit he’d pulled back at the meetings recently, that was his father’s fault.
Once back in his room, he furiously scratched out a plan that he hoped would appease the metalworkers to submit to Lord Farsha. Then, he grabbed his notebook and headed toward the gate. Perhaps his anger would help him learn her language faster. At least Raela didn’t think him a failure.
“You look like a bear bit by bee.” Raela said with a laugh. She put out her hands, like claws, and made a furious expression. “So angry. What makes so you angry?”
Killian and Raela sat on a blanket in the meadow, the birds just now waking as the sun started its slow ascent. He automatically responded, “‘You look like a bear stung’—bees sting, not bite. And it should be, ‘Why are you so angry?’” Raela nodded thoughtfully as she jotted his corrections down.
“Good. Now why are you so angry?” she asked. Her head tilted to the side like a bird, her long blonde hair almost silver in the early light. Her hand moved reflexively to pet the scruff around Jax’s neck. Jax nestled in closer to her. Killian might have been jealous if he wasn’t so distracted by his father. And by Phineas.
“People, men, do not think I am a good leader.” When she frowned, he expanded, searching for an easy explanation. “Good teacher, good boss, uh … good …”
Alpha, father.Jax offered, his mind speaking into both of theirs, accompanied by images.
“A front goose?” Raela said, her hands making a V shape. “Front goose moves many.”
“Sure, just like that. A leader guides his people.”
Glancing down, Raela studied the words again before looking around the meadow. “Where is the big man? Isn’t he one of your people?”
Killian rolled his shoulder. “Phineas is my friend. He is one of the people who thinks I am not a good front goose. Not a good leader.”
“Does Phineas … see right? Are you not a good leader?”
Killian lay down in the grass with a huff. “I think I’m a good one. But Phin and my father do not. I know I’m not perfect, but I try. All I’ve ever done was try, and it was never enough.”
Raela stared at him for a long time. Each passing moment made him feel more exposed. She inhaled slowly. “Does Phineas make you sad?”
