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A warm rush flooded his chest as electricity tingled through his fingertips where she touched him. He huffed a laugh. “I am happy, too, Raela. Very happy.”
She squeezed his hand again before running off to the southern edge of the meadow, turning once with a wave just before she ducked into the brush. Killian felt a sharp pain at her notable absence. She never made him feel foolish. Never disregarded him. His heart warmed, even as it ached after her company.
Even if her advice cut him to the marrow.
He turned to leave and found himself face-to-face with the massive wolf who was pinning him with a sharp look of reproof. His pupils narrowed, and his nose twitched side to side.Killian, be careful. Your betrothal.
Killian waved him off and stepped around him. “Jax, you don’t understand marriage or betrothals.”
I do understand promises. Your family promised. Promises matter.
“Don’t worry your little canine head. I’m just teaching her our language. Making international friendships.”
Jax huffed in what sounded like a scoff.And I’m just here for the scratches.
“You do love the scratches, though.” Killian shot one last glance toward the place she had disappeared as he pushed himself up and headed home.
Jax paced beside him.They are quite nice. But I didn’t make any promises.
Rolling his eyes, Killian dismissed Jax’s worries from his mind. So far, they had developed a lovely, honest friendship, without the weight of royalty. This was all he was after. Who else besides Phineas and Jax could Killian count as true friends? He could use one more. Jax was worrying for nothing. Killian stifled the memory of her hand in his, the squeeze of her hug, and the feel of her waist under his palm. He struggled to stifle the hot-red coal that was starting to burn in his chest.
Maybe he was in trouble after all.
Chapter 10
A Kiss For the Pain
Killian
KillianledZalinaaroundthe gardens as was their custom after tea. The leaves were just turning yellow and red, but as Zalina held onto Killian’s arm, he realized that the colors had nowhere near the vibrance of the Forbidden Forest. There, leaves glittered as if made of gold and rubies, and the green of the grass was a true emerald or as vibrant as jade. The leaves here were a sallow, bile shade.
The company paled in comparison as well.
Zalina tittered again at something he had said. Something he hadn’t meant as a joke. She batted a hand against his shoulder and brought herself close, pressing her chest into him.
“How is it you speak so highly of this wolf, but I haven’t met him,” she whined, her pitch high and nasally. “I have seen him duck away when you come back inside, but no one has thought to introduce us. I swear I’ve never been jealous like I am of a furry beast who gets all your time!” She laughed again. “My maid says that you even talk to the creature! If he talks back, then I must know this novel beasty.”
Killian frowned. His skin pricked at her closeness, so he turned to give them space by walking the opposite way. Jax was as well-known and accepted on the castle grounds as the statues, fountains, and busts of his relatives. But he never lingered. Glancing down at Zalina, he nearly agreed to their meeting, but a wave of resistance held him back. “Perhaps another time,” he hedged. “He’s a busy wolf.”
Her eyes fluttered coquettishly, but they held no sparkle. Her hands were soft, but too soft, like undercooked eggs, pale and floppy. Her black hair glimmered, but it didn’t shine with its own inner radiance like the sun.
Unlikeher. Unlike Raela. Raela who lit the entire meadow with her joy and inner brilliance.
Zalina asked what he was wearing to the harvest ball in a few days, prattling on about her clothing, drawing lines down her corset with her fingers as she described the outfit. Feverishly working for his attention and approval.
Had she always been this desperate? Had he always acquiesced to this pouting fervor? Is this what he had thought friendship was?
The affirmative answer was likely. Killian shifted uncomfortably.
It was as though he had been sustained by bland porridge or dry bread his whole life and thought he was living well. Now he had tasted lemon or basil, a steak or a raspberry. He realized with a dawning sense of clarity that he couldn’t go back to where he’d been. He couldn’t be satisfied with mere survival. He wanted tothriveand live with Raela’s kind of vigorous delight.
He wanted Raela. He wanted her clever mind and her friendship. He wanted her to hold him accountable to making things right with Phineas.
Phineas.
Killian clenched his jaw, pulsing the muscle before turning to Zalina. “Please excuse me, I just remembered I need to communicate a message to Lord Phineas. It’s urgent. I shall see you tomorrow?”
Zalina smiled at him tightly and dipped into a shallow curtsy. As she turned, Killian imagined he saw a feral look unfitting for a court lady. But as she walked away, full of composure, he was certain he imagined it. He must have seen a bit of hurt, which was to be expected.
