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He sighed. “She was special. I was going to marry her.”
The mass of blankets pressed toward him, her voice quiet and without the usual amusement. “What was she like?”
He swept together all the memories of her. “She had a voice that called the animals … literally.” He chuckled. “I thought her bear was going to eat me. But it turned out I should have been scared of the magic light instead.” He scratched his bearded face. When had he grown a beard? He continued. “She was the sun itself—warmth, happiness. She radiated life. And this sounds crazy, but the trees bent to her as she passed. The wind picked up and swirled when she laughed. She felt real.” He chuckled bitterly. “I felt real, like I finally mattered to someone, like I could do something right for once in my life. She was my princess. The one I chose. Or would have.” He sighed as he rubbed his eyes. “You probably think I’m crazy.”
She smiled in that old turtle way. “As an expert on crazy, yes, I do. But not for this. Not for her.”
His cheeks cracked into a real smile.
Meshougi leaned forward further. “So what did you fear?”
His smile faltered into a sad sort of grimace. Naked and exposed, he ventured the truth. “I feared becoming nothing and no one. Being unimportant. Forgotten. I hated disappointing my father, but at least … at least he still saw me. Even if it was, I don’t know, even if it was in a bad light.”
She pointed a bony finger toward him. “And what have you become now?”
His chest seized. “Nothing and no one.”
“Is that really true?”
He stared back at her black eyes. “Isn’t it?”
Her wiry brow rose, and she settled back, staring at him with her unflinching gaze.
Killian looked away, uncomfortable.
Isn’t it?
Chapter 16
Awakened Heart
Killian
Nothingandnoone.
Nothing and no one.
Crownless, hopeless, trapped. Of course he was no one. But that woman’s questions itched like a burr under his stockings. Is it true? Was he no one? Did he still matter if he was crownless, weak, and wounded?
This time, Zalina brought hot food onto the platform. Sweet and savory smells wafted down as he turned the wheel. His mouth watered, and he watched every movement as she ate. She offered him a drink of her steaming mug of mead. He struggled to remember why he should continue to say no.
But he did. Every time, he refused the food, refused the marriage proposal, and kept at his fruitless work. His hands were blistered, and he struggled to push the wheel. Zalina growled in frustration.
He was thrown to the floor of his cell. Killian lay there, staring, as unblinking as a dead person.
“Why are you here?” Meshougi asked again.
The coal of anger flared hot in his chest, and he pulled himself up to a kneeling position, wincing and shaking. “I’m here because Zalina brought me here.”
“And why are you herenow?”
Killian knew she was crazy, but this was too much. He turned to her, glowering. “We are jailed. Trapped. I’m frozen and weakened. At this point, I should just marry her, and then maybe I could warm up for two minutes.”
“Are you trapped?”
Killian rose with a growl and stalked the seven steps to the cell door. “Look, lady, this is locked.” But as Killian grabbed the door to shake it, it swung open easily, catching on the stones below and slowing before it clattered into the other barred wall.
His mouth dropped.
