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“With your mate?” She traced her finger along the edge of her plate, not looking my way.
“We hadn’t mated yet.”
Her nod jerked out. “So much unfulfilled promise.”
“We . . . I cared for her, but I realize now that it was more as a friend, not a lover.”
“Oh.” She lifted her bread then put it back down on her plate. “You’re the only one left of your family?”
“My father still lives, but we don’t have a good relationship.”
“I’m sorry. Surely, he’s proud of you. You hold a highly respected position in the kingdom.”
Not wanting to discuss my father, I shrugged off her comment. “I’ve worked hard to show the fates they were correct in allowing me to survive not just the shayde but many dresalod attacks.”
“Battling all the time is such a burden, isn’t it?”
I’d never thought of it in that way. “It is my duty. How can I do anything else?”
“Some might’ve curled up inside and hidden rather than challenging themselves to always try harder.”
I scoffed. “You didn’t do this.”
She looked up, blinking. “You’re right. I was eighteen when the shaydes killed my parents, and Lyneth was only thirteen.”
“The shaydes have caused a lot of pain for both of us. Is Lyneth back at the village?”
Picking up her bread, she stared at it for a long while. “She is. She’s going to marry her childhood sweetheart soon. They’ve been inseparable since they were little.”
“It was the same for me and Avella.” My mood turned pensive. “For most of my life, everyone expected us to mate.”
“You’re fortunate you had her in your life.”
“She was a good friend.” That was just it. She hadn’t sparked my fire like Rhoslyn did. “As I said, she didn’t spark my Azuris pendant.” I tapped it where it hung, as always, on a leather band around my neck. “But I did care for her.”
“It’s hard to lose those we love.”
Had I loved Avella? Of course, but . . . I didn’t want to think about how my feelings for Rhoslyn were different, fierier and more vibrant. More lasting. That was unfair to the female who’d cared for me, who’d looked forward to our mating.
We finished our meal and cleaned the dishes and Rhoslyn looked up at me with a strange expression on her face when I dried and put away the items she washed in the sink.
“Are you ready to leave?” I asked after I’d put the last item away. “We’ll return before the midday meal. I have work to do after that.”
“Let me run upstairs for just a moment. I’ll be right back.” She didn’t take long, returning with the cloth bag she’d carried with her yesterday, though it was now empty. She shot me a nervous smile. “Ready.”
I grabbed my mace and tucked the shaft into the sheath on my back.
Her soft smile fell. “Do you expect the dresalods to attack again?”
“We chased them away yesterday. If they’re wise, they’ll hide deep beneath the surface forever.” They were most likely regrouping, waiting for more of their spawn to grow large enough to join the legion before they attacked again.
She followed me to the hatch on the lowest level of my home that took up only the top section of the tower. “I didn’t see this area.”
“Would you have tried to escape this way if you had?” I was only teasing, and when her eyes lit up, I could tell she knew.
“Maybe.” Her lips quivered. She was so pretty when she struggled not to smile.
Yesterday, I would’ve snarled at the thought of her fleeing from me. Today . . . It didn’t seem to bother me.
