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He paused, though, touching my cheek then tucking a few stray hairs behind my ear. “Bath,” he said firmly. “Use those bath bead things you have.”
He didn’t wait for me to answer, and he turned. I had to stare at his back as he left, which left me just as confused as I’d been when he’d first come to my room. Was that an order or a suggestion? What had he thought of the whole experience? Would it be weird to see him later, knowing that he’d seen me crawling after a ball?
Well, he’d thrown the ball without complaining, so it couldn’t be that awkward. And he’d always been incredibly vocal about his opinions. If he’d found the experience strange or stressful, he would have said something.
Owen wasn’t the type to suffer in silence.
Did that mean he was okay with what we’d done? I still wasn’t sure how to define it. Was it a scene? Should it be called play time? Had it been a complete aberration that wouldn’t ever happen again?
I stared at the closed door for entirely too long.
Finally, my legs started to protest. I wasn’t out of shape, but playing had clearly worked muscles that didn’t usually get much exercise. Maybe Owen was right about the bath.
As I headed out of my bedroom and down the hall to the bathroom, I couldn't help but look at Owen’s closed door. I’d thought moving forward with the project would help me see things more clearly, but after everything that had happened, I was left with more questions than answers.
So many things I didn’t understand were running through my head. His reaction to the scene was a big one, but so was mine. It’d been so freeing and so… innocent was the first word that came to mind, but judging by my cock’s reaction, it probably wasn’t the right one.
Had he noticed?
I walked into the bathroom, trying to think back. I wasn’t even sure when it had happened. One moment, it was about the ball and the fun, and the next, it was more than that. It was loving and special.
My body just hadn’t seemed to understand that Owen was my brother.
In that moment, he’d simply been Master. Master’s touch came with soothing words that told me what a good job I’d done and sent waves of pleasure running through me. Master had smiled when I’d barked and had run his hands through my hair like he was petting me.
It was almost like they were two different people.
There was Owen, my standoffish brother who didn’t like anything I did and seemed to prefer avoiding me most of the time. Then there was Master, who smiled and let me cuddle into him. Master liked to pet me and laughed when I teased him with the ball. I couldn’t reconcile the fact that they weren’t separate individuals.
Did I have to?
It probably wasn’t even something I had to worry about. What were the chances Owen would even want to explore more of it with me? Some of it was still about the research, there was no denying that, but there was also a part of me that was curious.
If just having the leash and collar on let my brain turn off like that, how would more feel? If chasing the ball had made him laugh and cuddle me, how would he have reacted to the tail? How would Master feel if it wasn’t just about the research for me any longer?
Looking at myself in the mirror, I frowned at my reflection. There was an even bigger question I was hesitant to ask.
How would I feel about taking it beyond the research?
When it had first started, I’d been confident it was just about the class and getting an A. I just wasn’t sure when that had changed. Somewhere during the videos and blogs, it had moved beyond that. I just wasn’t sure where it was going.
Stripping off my clothes, I turned on the water and looked at myself in the mirror again. I still looked like me. Nothing had changed on the outside, but I felt different inside. It was like I was seeing myself for the first time, and I couldn't decide how I felt about it.
Turning, I stepped in the shower and tried to push it all away. I wanted that blissful feeling back. I wanted to have that peace and happiness where nothing mattered but pleasing Master and chasing the ball. I closed my eyes and leaned back against the wall, letting the spray pound away at me.
Master had been smiling, and the way he’d touched my hair and that one moment where he’d cupped my face had been so tender. It’d been so long since someone looked at me like that — like I was special, and I mattered to them.
I hadn’t needed to do anything but have fun and be myself at the most basic level. That had been enough for Master to smile at me and want to spend time with me. He’d stayed, sitting down on the floor and throwing the ball just because it made me happy.
I wanted it back.
I wanted that perfect moment back, but I had no idea how to get it.
How was I supposed to open up to Master and ask him for more when I wasn’t even sure what it was or how to define anything that we’d done? How could I explain that it couldn’t be wrong if it was that perfect?
Chapter 8 Owen
My coworkers had seen me come in hung over, right after being fucked senseless, on the heels of an all-nighter… On one occasion, I’d even gone in still half-drunk, which I would never do again.
