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He was mine.
And I was never going to let either of us forget that.
Epilogue
The seemingly endless monologue about what the professor hoped we’d learned in the class and by doing the paper was wasted on me. Watching her pace across the front of the room was the only thing holding my attention. Maybe the other students needed the reminder that they were supposed to have learned more than new sex positions and slang terms, but I didn’t.
As crazy as I knew it would sound to the other students, and probably the professor herself, I thought it was the most important class I’d taken in college. In others, I’d learned skills that would prepare me for a job and make me a better speaker, or someone who could hold intelligent conversations about history and political events. In her class, I’d learned who I was.
Maybe who I was becoming was probably the better way to say it.
At the beginning of the school year, or even the semester, I never would’ve been able to imagine waking up in Owen’s arms wearing nothing but my collar. I never would’ve been able to imagine racing around the bedroom chasing a ball while he smiled and laughed, petting my head and telling me what a good pup I was.
The old Adrian hadn’t had the words to explain the things that had run through his head or that made him feel different. The new Adrian didn’t always have the words either, but at least he knew they were out there and that someone was there to listen.
Owen was there to listen.
As I sat there thinking about it and about everything that I’d written in the paper, I had to admit that it was the thing that still shocked me the most. It wasn’t the tail or collar that made me feel like the world had turned on its head.
It was Owen.
It was the way he looked at me, the way he reached out to touch my face, the way his hands trailed down my spine as he caressed me and told his pup how his day had gone. It was in the way he did little things for me, buying my favorite coffee or getting me up just a few minutes early because he knew how much I liked waking up with him without having to rush.
We’d gone from almost strangers, two people who were just sharing a house out of necessity, to lovers and a real family. Maybe we’d gone about tearing down the walls that had created so much distance differently than other people would have, but I wouldn’t have changed it for the world.
Stripped down and finally honest, we’d been able to see each other for who we really were. We were both realistic; we knew there would be problems and bumps in the road. Even with all the things we had in common, we were too different not to butt heads. But the love that was there now was strong and growing.
It wasn’t built out of the initial attraction that pushed people together. It wasn’t built out of fear or the thrill of the taboo.
It had been built through sharing and showing each other the hidden parts we’d kept locked away from everyone else.
There was no way to keep yourself from falling in love when you found that one person who knew all the weird things about you and thought that was what made you special.
As the professor finally brought her lecture to a close, I glanced down at the paper on my desk. I wasn’t sure if she would like it or what grade it would earn, but that wasn’t the most important thing anymore. I was nervous, yes, but it was because I was sharing more of myself with her than I had with anyone else… at least, anyone else besides Owen.
When he’d seen the final draft of the paper the night before, Owen had smiled and shaken his head as he read about my initial curiosity and my thoughts when I’d seen “Master” for the first time. I’d tweaked a few facts and taken some liberty with others so she wouldn’t be able to guess who’d helped me learn so much about myself. Even so, I knew she’d be able to see how much I loved him and how opening up to him had changed me forever.
As I walked up to the front of the room, watching other students stack their papers in a haphazard pile, I couldn’t help but wonder if it had changed any of their lives like it had mine. Had they finally figured out who they were? Had any of them fallen in love? Did any of them feel like they were finally free?
Setting my paper on top of the stack, I couldn’t but but feel a flash of worry. It wasn’t exactly what she’d asked for… but something in me said that it was probably what she’d been hoping for.
In your initial discussion on the assignment, you said that it should be personal and intimate. You said that it should say something about us. In this paper, you’ll find my research and the information that I collected, but you’ll also see what else I’ve discovered and how special the research became for me.
I’m not sure I can get more personal than this or if this is even the best way to start, but it’s the only way I know how. Looking back on the assignment, three things stand out:
I found myself.
I found strength I hadn’t known was in me.
I found the man I will love forever.
The End M.A. Innes is the pseudonym for best-selling author Shaw Montgomery. While Shaw writes femdom and m/m erotic romance. M.A. Innes is the side of Shaw that wants to write about topics that are more taboo. If you liked the book, please leave a short review. It is greatly appreciated.
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