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I stared at him past the point of comfort for either of us but I wasn’t breaking first.
“Jeez, Olive. What’s with the femme fatale thing you’ve got going on?” He shifted and smiled. “It’s kind of hot.”
I was going to barf. “I’m upset about that text, Taylor. Can you at least admit you did it so I can stop worrying that someone else hates me as much as you do?”
“Babe, I don’t hate you. I was just trying to teach you a lesson.” He tried to play with the ends of my hair but just got his fingers stuck. “When’s the last time you brushed your hair, babe?”
“It sure looked like you hated me yesterday when you told me you were going to make me pay for Caleb taking your position. You threatened me, Taylor, and then you sent out that text to hurt me.” I looked away, doing my best to sound hurt and not murderous.
“I was upset. You know how it is. We’ve both said mean shit to each other. Your boyfriend got me benched and I was so angry I couldn’t see straight. I shouldn’t have sent that message out. It was mean. Think you can forgive me?”
“He’s not my boyfriend.” My heart gave a mighty ache that I had to fight against. “That text was the nail in our coffin.”
“I’m so sorry, Liv. You’re better off without him. Do you know why he was benched yesterday for the start of the game?” Taylor leaned closer. “Those three assholes have been doping. They’re all using steroids. When I found out, I had to tell Coach or every win we take could be ripped away from us later. The only reason they were let back into the game was Caleb’s daddy paid off whoever gave the test. That’s not even all, though, Liv.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “There’s more?”
“They’ve been accused of running a cheating ring on campus. They’ve been taking money for test keys and shit. Dean Ardell is trying to get them expelled.”
“What the fuck, Taylor?” I broke character and just decided I had enough of his confession to go ahead and rip his head off. Verbally. I didn’t need him to confess to everything to be able to curse him out for it. “You did both of those things, too, didn’t you? Why?”
“Because they got too cocky. They thought they were the big men on campus, all because they were fucking you. Even though I’ve already been there, done that, they still thought they were tough shit. They were even acting like Jesse was their son.” Taylor scowled. “So I started a few rumors. Who fucking cares? Caleb’s rich daddy will just fix it before it goes too far. Or, they’ll get expelled and my last year will feel great.”
“That’s sick. You’re sick.” I shook my head. “They did nothing wrong. All they did was try to protect me from you and helped me take care of Jesse when I needed help the most. I begged for you to help, Taylor. I chased you all over this campus. I tried so hard to get you to see Jesse and help me with him but you refused. You hid from me until you found out that I was hanging out with the guys.”
“Jesus, Olive, I’m twenty-three-years-old. I don’t want to raise a fucking kid. He’s weird. And too sensitive. I was just teasing and I called you a whore in front of him and he cried. He’s a baby. I mean, goddamn, I can’t tease a little?”
“You don’t want him in your life at all?”
“No. I don’t fucking like kids. They ruin shit. Look at us. We were having a great time before you got knocked up.” He slid closer to me. “You were my first virgin and I’ve still never felt anything as tight as you, Livie.”
I gritted my teeth. “Taylor, what you did to me back then wasn’t right. You know that, don’t you? Tell me you feel even a tiny bit guilty so I know there’s an ounce of humanity in you.”
“I don’t feel fucking guilty, Liv, because I had to put up with you for it. I had to listen to you talk about shit and listen to you sing in my car even though you sounded like a dying cat. So I had to push you a little.”
“I cried! I told you I didn’t want to. Taylor, I begged you to stop because it hurt and you wouldn’t. What would you call that?” I ached for the child I’d been and the way I’d lost that innocence. “You tricked me to get me alone and you wouldn’t stop until you got what you wanted. How many times did you lie to me to get me alone? How many times did I tell you I didn’t want to have sex? How many times did I tell you that it hurt?”
Some of his facade fell away and the car grew silent. I thought he was going to get out and leave but he finally looked up at me and shrugged. “I don’t know. That’s just how shit happened. I didn’t care about you, Olive. I didn’t care when you cried. You weren’t even a human being to me. I just wanted to fuck you to see if I could.”
“And when you couldn’t, what? You just decided to make me?”
“Yeah, I guess so.” He sighed. “Fuck, Liv. My head’s all turned around these days.”
I waited to see what he meant and I should’ve known better than to hope he meant anything about Jesse.
“I mean… I fucking hate Andrew and his do-gooder ways. Seeing him try to date you just pissed me off. I guess there’s no loyalty amongst ex-best friends. And Coach is always sucking Caleb’s ass because he’s rich. Like giving him my fucking game yesterday. That was fucked up. And I’m graduating this year. I’m not ready to leave. This place is nonstop partying and pussy. I’m supposed to be the number one draft pick, but with this shit with Caleb, I don’t know. If I’m not picked first, I don’t even know why I’m going.”
“Taylor?”
He looked up. “Yeah, babe?”
“Get out.”
“What?”
“Get out of the car, right now. I thought hearing you confess to everything would make me feel better, but you’re a loser, Taylor, and it’ll never matter if you’re sorry or not. You’re just a vapid manchild. Jesse is better off without you in his life, so I’m glad you agree that you don’t want him.”
He scowled. “You’re being a bitch.”
