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Then Ginny started falling in love willy-nilly, crushing on the prettiest girls and the cutest boys. She lost her virginity—hated every minute of it—and discovered how sex could lead to babies and her whole life changed. The only problem was, everyone she ever slept with or dated turned out to be a total waste of space. None of them were interesting or appealing to her beyond that one date or one sexual encounter.
Outside of afewpartners, Ginny couldn’t explore the kind of kinky sex she liked. Nothing about praise appealed to her, most didn’t know how to properly add sex toys to the fun they were having and almost nobody understood breath play. Not that Ginny did, but she’d been choked once and found that she enjoyed it. So she did her research and looked for people with specific kinks on apps, but so often they lied. Honestly,everyonelied on those apps and it was disappointing.
A few years ago, she had a hot weekend with a gorgeous non-binary kink expert and they showed Ginny how to properly enjoy breath play. How to put pressure in the right places that amplified the pleasure, without cutting off their oxygen too much.
Maybe she had high expectations or maybe people she met were just terrible. Either way, Ginny gave up on babies and finding her person. They didn’t exist. And she definitely didn’t want to become like her mother, a shell of the woman she had once been.
It was only after she moved to Wildes that Ginny actively used the dating apps. She was settling for one-night stands, quick fucks and a little bit of fun. When she was still at Knots & Crosses, as Frankie’s assistant, Ginny would flirt with wedding guests and go home with them if she fancied. Now, as a planner herself, she couldn’t flirt with anybody. Hell, she barely had time to look at the guests so forget flirting.
Therefore the bane of her existence.
Especially since the more she told her brain to stop focusing on Gavin, the more it latched onto that day in his office—and thealmost kiss. The way his strong body felt against hers and the frustration burning into his stunning green eyes, none of that should have been as attractive as it was.
No, stop thinking about him. Focus on your…date.
Ginny rarely ever expected much from the people she swiped right on, just as long as they could keep up with her. One of those people was her date—Blair. She was gorgeous and sexy, and basically ticked all the boxes on Ginny’s list of requirements.
The only issue was that everything that she saw on the app was a lie.See, they all fucking lie. All the time.
Blair wasn’t a redhead like her profile picture claimed. She’d also said that she was an actress, except what she forgot to include was that she was an actress of the porn variety. Ginny admired and respected porn stars, because their jobs weren’t exactly easy or fun, despite how it looked in those videos. And sure, lots of people dreamed about fucking porn stars, but that wasn’t Ginny’s idea of a good time.
And even worse? Blair was turning out to be the most boring human on the planet. For every question Ginny asked her, Blair spent ten minutes lamenting about the shitty state of her life. In the hour they’d been at The Sidecar, Ginny knew that she was one of eight kids, she had a poodle named Bitsy, her stage name was Blair Wardick (because she lovedGossip Girlso much, but also modified to fit her career) and she’d become a porn star because it meant she got to have sex all the time.
Ginny understood the appeal behind having sex all the time, but every now and then, she wanted to build some kind of connection with the people she met on apps. Via chat and text, they came across one way and then in person…they were Blair.
“You get it, right? It’s so hard being a woman right now.”
Ginny blinked out of her thoughts to find Blair twirling her tongue around the straw in an attempt to pull it into her mouth. She hoped her face wasn’t doing what her brain was thinking—what the actual fuck have I gotten myself into?—because Ginny was ready to abandon this date and go home to her vast collection of toys. That was probably the one bonus of being an influencer who talked loud and proud of exploring sex with different kinds of partners. The number of brands that sent her toys so she would review and talk about them on her profile was pretty ridiculous. Not all the toys worked for her, but Ginny appreciated that she was becoming a trusted source for all things pleasure.
“Jenny? You still with me?”
Who the fuck is Jenny?Ginny nodded at Blair and forced her lips into a smile before sliding off her high stool.
“I’m just going to visit the restroom, why don’t you order us another round.”
Blair bounced in her seat, her breasts moving a little too vigorously, and then waved someone down as Ginny speed-walked to the restrooms. Pushing into the ladies’ room, she set her bag on the counter and opened the faucet so she could splash water on her face.
Staring at her reflection, Ginny asked herself again if this whole dating thing was better or worse than monogamy. Not that she’d ever been in a long-term relationship and the closest she’d come to being with one person for longer than a summer had been Gavin. She didn’t believe in the whole soulmates and love of your life nonsense, because none of that even made sense. Sure, she could blame her parents’ failed marriage for that, but the truth was that one in every hundred relationships ended in heartbreak. Or worse.
Ginny didn’t want to endure any of that. She could find a random sperm donor to have a baby, or she could giveall of itup and find a fuck buddy to scratch the itch now and then.
Problem was, Ginny would then find something wrong with her fuck buddy too. She often got bored of people if they didn’t bring anything new to the relationship—romantic or platonic. She lived her life a lot larger than others did and she liked to have a good time without having to apologize for it or explain herself. A lot of herfriendsthought she was ‘too much’ and needed to ‘calm the fuck down’, which meant that Ginny walked away from them. If people couldn’t accept her for who she was and how she lived her life, they weren’t worth it.
It was a miracle that Spencer had stayed her best friend all these years, because she certainly put him through the wringer often enough. But he was good people and she loved him and his family. Well…she wasn’t sure how she felt about Gavin right then, but he wasn’t a bad person. He’d just said some bad things and formed opinions about her because he was hurt and angry. She understood that too. Gavin wasn’t the only person who said horrible things to someone because he was hurt.
Once she’d patted her face and hands dry, Ginny smoothed down her dress as she stared at her reflection.You’re going to go back to the table, thank Blair for a wonderful afternoon and get the fuck out of here.Nodding to herself, Ginny grabbed her purse and pushed her shoulders back as she tugged the door open. And froze.
Think of the devil and he shall appear.
Gavin Rhodes was leaning against the wall in front of the ladies’ room, arms crossed over his chest, scowl firmly placed on his face. Even though he was wearing a jacket, Ginny could see the definition of his muscles. It helped that she’d taken a mental picture of him that day when she swung by the shelter and he was wearing that tank. His legs were encased in dark jeans and a light gray t-shirt peeked out from between his black jacket.
“Are you stalking me, Little Rhodes?”
He rolled his eyes.Still not a fan of the nickname, I see. “I have better things to do with my time.”
“And yet…here you are.”
“Maybe my date’s in there.”
