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When she pulled up in her driveway three hours later, Ginny released a shaky breath. Gavin’s truck was parked on the curb, a few lights were on inside the house and soft music filtered through an open window. She’d given him a key after they’d had the life-altering kind of sex on her kitchen floor and in a way, she was grateful that he’d made himself comfortable in her house. But she’d also spent the last few hours wondering what Gavin was thinking or feeling, how this news was impacting him, when the truth was that none of this was about him and she seriously hoped he knew that.
Still dressed in her blush pink dress—with thin straps, a cowl neck that flaunted the tops of her breasts and a slit up her right leg—Ginny let herself into the house. Gavin was asleep on the couch, soft music playing on his phone, which was lying on the coffee table. Closing the door gently Ginny kicked off her shoes and hung up her jacket, and quietly moved to sit on the coffee table. She tapped his phone to turn the music off and Gavin stirred slightly. She set her phone on the table beside his and linked her fingers in her lap as Gavin slowly woke up and turned to look at her.
“Hey…whoa.” His eyes widened, gaze drifting over her chest and down to where the slit exposed her entire right thigh and leg. “Beautiful.”
She smiled at his reaction and waited until he was sitting up. Ginny had seen this sleepy version of Gavin almost every day for the last week and she loved it. His hair was standing up in every direction and marks from the cushion were indented on his face. The picture he’d sent her the day before didn’t do justice to how deliciously scruffy his beard was. The faded red t-shirt he was wearing looked like it had seen better days, but it also looked soft and cozy.
Gavin leaned back and their eyes met, her heart racing as she tried to understand what might be going through Gavin’s mind. He was watching her so intently and she felt like she was going to crawl out of her skin.
“You are incredible,” he said softly, running a hand over his bearded jaw. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
She was taken aback by the question—because she thought he might sound angrier or frustrated, he just sounded worried—and shrugged as she shifted on the table. “At first, it was because I liked having this thing that was allmine. Then the trolls started appearing and I knew everyone else would get offended and angry on my behalf. So I just didn’t tell anybody.”
“You told Spencer.”
“He found out all on his own,” she snapped and then sighed, because she didn’t want to get angry with him. “Bronte knows too.”
Gavin scoffed, eyes dropping to his lap, where he was wringing his fingers. “Were you ever going to tell me?”
She hated how small he sounded, but it was a fair question. Ginny had been doing this for the last few years and while Gavin had only been back in her life for a few months, she could have told him.
“Eventually. I got so used to not talking about it or telling anyone, or having to explain what I was doing to people. And then there was the whole comments and the internet being made up of assholes thing I was dealing with.” He was still not looking at her and Ginny sighed, leaning forward to put her hands on top of Gavin’s. “Is that what’s bothering you?”
“Partly, but mostly it’s because of the things they were saying. Even Milo gets some nasty comments on his posts, but they’re never likethat.”
Ginny chuckled sadly and moved to sit beside him, tucking her legs under her on the couch. “It’s the double standard. Men, no matter what they look like, can put their bodies on display and everyone will say positive shit for the most part. Women, when we’re confident in our skin and want to share that with the world, we get the trolls and assholes who say mean things.”
“They’re not mean, Nia, they’re flat out nasty.”
“It’s the price I pay for wanting to talk about how all bodies are great and perfect and deserve all kinds of love. I don’t look at the comments anymore, and if I do, I weed out the positive ones and people sending me love.”
She watched as Gavin threaded their fingers together, his strong hand engulfing her softer and smaller one. “Reading those ugly words, seeing people say that aboutyou…I felt like I should hunt them down or find some way to hurt them back. Because the fact that they can’t see how incredible you are, how beautiful and flawless and perfect you are just blows my mind.
“And then to also see the positive things, how you’ve helped other people be confident in themselves, to approach their life differently…” Gavin whistled and Ginny smiled, because she was glad that he was seeing the better side of what she was doing. “If I didn’t love you already, seeing this part of your life would have totally changed that.”
Her heart thudded so loudly, Ginny was sure Gavin heard it. Or at least felt it in the tips of her fingers because her entire body tingled at those words.
“Gavin…”
“I’m not saying it for you to say it back, that’s not what it is. Just that going through those comments made me so fucking angry. I remember you telling me about how the girls on Tybee would say terrible things about you too and back then, I didn’t understand just how ugly those words were. Not until I saw them written down and most likely done bygrown ass people.”
Accepting that bullies came in all shapes and sizes was the first step to ignoring the people on the internet. Ginny had learned that the hard way and now she handled them differently—ignoring them and continuing to create her content. The more she put out there, the less they could shut her down.
“I wanted to reply to every single one and tell them to back the fuck off, that they didn’t know just how amazing you are and how what you were doing was helping so many others. But I figured you might either dump or kill me if I did that and I’d like to be with youandstay alive, if that’s okay.”
“I think I’d like to keep you around.” Ginny laughed, squeezing Gavin’s hand. “First rule of putting yourself out there: don’t read the comments.”
“This is also why I don’t use social media, it’s just so stressful and you can’t control people.”
“It’s not all bad, if you know the right way to use it.”
“Speaking of the right way…we need to talk about these pictures, babe. Becauseholy shit.”
Ginny grinned as Gavin grabbed his phone and unlocked it. She stretched her legs out as he did, resting their feet on the table. Ginny leaned against Gavin, head on his shoulder as he opened Instagram and her profile appeared. She so rarely paid attention to her follower count, but seeing the692K followersmade her heart race.Thatmany people gave a shit about what she said and the message she was sending.
“Please tell me you have more of these,” Gavin said, gesturing to the lingerie in her latest post, then at the dress she was wearing. “But also, please tell me you have more dresses like this.”
Chuckling, she nodded and squeezed his arm. “This is what I was in New York for, the brand just launched and they were having a party in honor of that. As their brand ambassador, I had to be present.”
