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For a moment, he took a deep breath. “I’ll never forget the look on his face when he came back to me. How together we sat there and cried like babies. They didn’t want me to see her or Charlotte. There was nothing I could do. I rode back with my captain while my ambulance took their bodies to the funeral home.”
“Ryan,” she said, tears streaming down her face. “I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.”
“I lost everything because a semi hit a patch of black ice. That’s why I’m terrified of you driving to Whitefish. If I lost you and this child, I couldn’t continue living. Sandy had kissed me right before they left and I kissed Charlotte good-bye not knowing that was the last time I would ever see them alive. So you’ll have to forgive me if I don’t want you to drive to Whitefish alone, if I would rather you stayed here until after the baby was born.”
She bit her lip and then she pulled him to her. This sweet man had lost so much.
“Is that her picture hanging in the hall with the young child?”
“Yes,” he said. “We had bought a house and were living there when the accident happened. I had to get out of there. There were ghosts. There were too many memories. Somehow I had to find the strength to start again. I can’t do it a second time. Please don’t make me do it again.”
What could she say? Yes, she wanted to go to Whitefish and have the baby there, but Ryan had a legitimate reason for not wanting her to travel.
And she loved this man and couldn’t imagine him not being by her side when she had this child.
Just then her stomach tightened and she instinctively went into her breathing exercises.
He glanced up at her and then at his watch.
Not yet, baby. Not yet, she said over and over to herself. It wasn’t time.
CHAPTER17
All night long, she had Braxton Hicks. It wasn’t on a regular schedule, so it wasn’t real labor, but still Ryan was nervous.
This baby was not going to wait much longer. And he wasn’t going to miss this child’s birth.
Now she knew about Sandy and Charlotte and why he didn’t want her to travel alone to Whitefish, but he knew she still was not convinced that they should stay in Missoula.
The need to be with her family and mother during the delivery was strong, and in some ways, he felt a little jealous. This was his child. If anyone was going to be in the labor room, it would be him.
Early the next morning before the sun had risen, he realized the wind had stopped blowing. It was quiet outside. The storm must have passed and that meant they would soon be clearing the roads.
Tomorrow was Christmas Eve and he doubted he could convince her that they should remain in Missoula. As much as he loved Amelia, she was indeed a very stubborn woman who liked getting her way.
But if that was her only fault, he could deal with it. Though she would need to learn that when he put his foot down, it was a no. This time, he couldn’t force her to remain here and he would never let her leave alone.
That morning, his mother called while Amelia was still in bed.
“Did you tell her?”
“Yes, Mom,” he said.
“How did she take it?”
“We both cried and talked about how unfair it was to lose both of them. Now she understands why I don’t want her out on the snowy roads, and yet, I don’t think I convinced her not to go to Whitefish.”
“Then you should take her. You’ve got that Jeep that can get around anywhere,” his mother said. “I’ll be worried sick about the three of you, but this is her first child. She’s afraid. I can remember how much I wanted my mother there at your birth.”
With a sigh, he knew his mother was right, but he was terrified of another accident. Surely lightning wouldn’t strike twice in the same place. And yet the paramedic in him kept telling him to stay home. Stay off the roads.
“Don’t let her go alone,” she said. “That baby has dropped and is in position. It’s just a matter of time.”
“And what if she goes into labor while we’re on the road?”
“Then you pull over and you deliver your own child. You’re a smart man. A paramedic and you know how to deliver babies.”
He’d delivered three in his short career. All from women who either waited too long to go to the hospital or their delivery came on so quickly. It was a scary, joyous occasion, and he’d loved helping those little ones come into the world.
