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“Yes,” I admitted. The moment we emerged from the hall, I gazed at the men who were speaking in hushed tones. Walking toward them, I paused at the sound of a rasping purr that vibrated through me. Esme’s hand gripped my shoulder, her nails digging into the flesh. “Basilius, unless you want me to rattle back, I suggest you save your male antics for after I’ve found Knox.”
“Thank you,” she whispered, then removed her hand with a wince at the blood she’d drawn.
“You don’t have to thank me for protecting you. I understand the feel of that primal need currently rushing through your veins like molten lava. That’s how I feel when Knox is near, which I haven’t felt since we arrived.” Stopping in front of the men, I scanned their faces before turning back to Brander and Killian, who watched me closely with an emotion I couldn’t put my finger on, on their faces. “Where is he?”
“Who?” Killian asked. The guilty flush creeping up his throat made my stomach churn.
“Who the hell do you think, Killian? Who would I ask you for? Surely not a palace steward, not when I have a suit of meat on hand.”
“I resent that remark,” he breathed, but it lacked his normal, jovial tone.
Uncrossing my arms, I let them drop to my sides. “You resemble that remark, not resent. Where the hell is Knox?” I asked, noting the heads dropping, as if the floor had become intriguing. “Answer me,” I whispered as fear clamped down around my heart.
Their silence sent every worst-case scenario running through my mind. A chill snaked down my spine as my stomach churned, threatening to empty at my feet. I wanted to shake them until they disclosed to me where Knox was. Or was it because he was with someone else? The pain that thought alone caused was debilitating. Had Knox given up on my returning to him? I’d promised I’d come back. Was there another warming his bed that I’d left cold with my absence? Tears pricked my eyes, singing them as I looked from one person to the other. My breathing turned erratic, matching my heartbeat as it battered against my ribcage.
“Somebody answer me,” I demanded as my fingers curled against my palms, forming a fist.
“He’s gone,” Brander said, shoving his hands into the pockets of the pants he wore.
“Gonewhere?”
“Aria,” he began, but I wasn’t about to get some lecture from him before he shattered my heart by telling me Knox had found someone else, or worse, he’d married Sabine for real this time.
“Don’t lie or seek to protect me. Just fucking say it, Brander.”
“He’s with Hecate.” Brander’s words might as well have ripped into my chest and removed my heart as it still beat. The echoing sound of it rang in my ears, deafening them to whatever he’d uttered after he’d told me who Knox was with. The entire room spun around me as if I’d stepped onto a carousel. But as I spiraled on it, no horse was available to prevent me from falling. “Aria?”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Aria
Aria
Inthemiddleofthe library, I stood as dread slammed through me. It felt like violent waves thrashing against the shoreline as the tide came in. The sound of voices around me wouldn’t reach my ears over the deafening sound of my heartbeat and my screams ripping through it. Only, I didn’t scream. I couldn’t. It felt as if someone had reached into my throat, and stolen my ability to make a sound.
The tightness in my chest wouldn’t lessen, not even as I sucked in air as I realized I’d stopped breathing. I swallowed several times to clear my throat, feeling as if something was stuck in it, blocking my airway and trapping the sounds in my throat.
Brander stepped closer, but I shook my head as my hand lifted, warning him to back up. I repeatedly opened my mouth to speak, but everything I wanted to say wouldn’t escape. I couldn’t find the right word to say, and even if I could, they wouldn’t articulate. I fought to regain control of my thoughts, my voice, and the emotions that were presently breaking my heart into sharp, jagged pieces. Gripping my throat, I applied pressure to my breastbone, praying it eased the agony and torment I felt so fucking deeply that I feared looking down, only to discover a gaping hole from where they’d torn my heart from my chest.
“Aria?” Esme whispered, her eyes wide with concern.
“I’m sorry, Brander. You’ll have to repeat that? Because it sounded like you said Knox waswithHecate?”
“You should sit down,” he encouraged as he pulled a chair up beside him.
“I don’t want to sit down,” I hissed as my world shattered into a thousand broken pieces.
The entire room blurred as fear collided with terror at the thought of him being anywhere near her. It took effort to force words to leave my lips. As if I’d lost them with him. It hurt to even think he’d have gone with her, but why the hell would he have done something so fucking stupid? It was Knox. Knox wasn’t stupid! He’d never voluntarily go to the sadistic bitch who’d hurt him, repeatedly. He knew she’d only force him to be a slave, to murder those she placed beneath his blade.
“Tell me what happened,” I grounded out through dread and the pain consuming me far more than it ever had touched me before. My nerves frayed as something within me tugged, as if fighting to gain some semblance of control over the wealth of violent emotions slashing through my flesh, flaying it to torn ribbons.
Brander’s soft, sapphire stare studied my face. Searching for what? Was he enjoying seeing me break apart? Maybe it was his kink? I didn’t care, but I knew that I wanted Knox to walk through the library doors, of fuck, even scale the wall and tell me to wake up. That this was merely a seriously fucked up nightmare.
“What. Fucking. Happened?” It had taken an effort to hiss each word as I enunciated them. His head dropped forward, then gently nodded. Parting my lips, I fought to demand he tell me what happened to Knox, but Killian cleared his throat, forcing my stare to jerk toward where he moved closer to us.
“Knox sent a group of warriors to the Dark Mountains to find out what happened to the caravan which was due here, but never showed up. He figured they’d either been attacked or needed help. Those in the caravans were easily discovered and retrieved. They’d been set upon by ravagers who’d taken their food, clothing, and whatever else they had before they left them stranded on the other side of the pass. They and the group Knox had sent out started back through the passes. They’d reached the top and intended to set up camp.”
He scratched the back of his head, sliding his eyes around as I stood statue-still though my breathing was still quick, short inhale. Killian scrubbed a hand over his face, then searched the room, as if someone else would tell me the rest. When no one offered, he exhaled a deep, even breath from his lungs. His hand held his neck. Those azure eyes that once viewed me with hate, now offered me pity.
