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Some days I could scan past it all and not feel a thing, but there were far too many times when it was just too much for me. I couldn’t understand what sort of person was sitting behind their computer screen, saying such dreadful things. What would possess someone to do that?
Today I wasn’t feeling so hot. My head was all over the place because of the hangover and Spike, Brock too, so I didn’t need anything else to make me jumpy. I posted the pictures and videos with some catchy captions that I knew would send those waiting forRevivewild, and I signed off the Internet as quickly as possible. I didn’t have the mental capacity to dip into that cesspool today, thank you very much.
“Let me see.” But Sarah didn’t have the same mindset as me. She snatched my phone away from me to take a look at what I had just posted, giggling as a string of comments started to appear. “Oh my God, people are loving this already. It’s so exciting…”
But as the words fell off her lips, I knew what was happening. I recognized that look all too well. She’d seen something bad and it had knocked her confidence.
“What the hell is this?” She pouted. “You are dead,What the hell is wrong with people? Why would someone be so mean? Doesn’t that seem fucked up to you?”
I nodded and quickly took the phone back off her. Yeah, this was why I was better at being the barrier, because if I was hurt, it wouldn’t affect some massive project like this.
“I just don’t get it.” She jumped up from her seat and began to pace up and down. “Do people not think that I’m a real person and that this shit won’t hurt? Seriously, it makes me want to scream. Should I respond? Do you think I should tell the person that?”
I shook my head fervently. “There is nothing worse that you can do than respond to someone online. If they are looking for attention because of their negative behavior, then the last thing you want is to give them that validation. It will only make them worse.”
Sarah let out a scream of frustration. “Urgh, but then they just continue to get away with it. That doesn’t feel right either. They should be made to understand.”
It was a good job she hadn’t seen the worst of it. I handed her some water and desperately hoped the makeup girls would arrive soon to distract Sarah from this. She couldn’t go into a deep hole now because she might never come out of it. That would be very dangerous.
Knock, knock, knock.
Oh, thank goodness. Someone else entered the room so I twisted around sharply to hide my cell phone from Sarah. She didn’t have any of the social media accounts connected to her phone and that was how it would always stay. That was the end of the Internet for the day. I couldn’t think of another reason why either of us would need to go online.
“Hello there, I’m the head of the security detail. I believe you met my colleague before.”
Those words made my heart instantly pound as I went back to daydreaming about Brock. About how he couldn’t stop staring at me, even as Sarah tried to get his attention.
I wasneverthe most important person in the room when Sarah was around, yet Brock magically managed to make me feel that way. The intensity of his stare and the way he couldn’t stop brooding over me was all too much. No wonder I couldn’t get him off my mind.
“Good to meet you.” Sarah reverted back to her happy-go-lucky self, hopefully not thinking anymore about the online world. “My name is Sarah, and you are…?”
“Spike.”
My blood ran ice cold. He didn’t just saySpike,did he? As inSpike. What the fuck? Spike knew I was working on the movie set, yet he never said a thing. But how many people with that unusual name could be living in a small place like this?
I was so nervous that I couldn’t even bring myself to turn around. Not at first anyway.
“I just want to let you know, Sarah, that you are in good hands with us.” Oh fuck. I knew that voice. It was definitely him. Ihadto lay eyes on him to confirm everything. “If there is anything that you are worried about, please let me know.”
My heart pounded with a nervous excitement as I finally made myself look. Much as I knew it was going to be him, it still made my pulse thunder in an out of control manner the moment I caught his eyes. For one magical millisecond, we were back in the bar, back in one another’s arms, kissing and debating whether or not we wanted to go home together…
But that moment shattered almost as soon as it had begun. Spike didn’t even fucking acknowledge me! He turned back to Sarah as if I wasn’t even in the room. What the hell? Brock, whom I had barely even spoken to, couldn’t keep his eyes off me, but Spike, who I had spent an incredible time with last night, didn’t even want to admit I existed.
My heart sank. My whole body deflated. I couldn’t believe that this was happening to me. It was gutting to feel like I meant nothing to him. To just know that I was nothing more than a bit of fun for a night. There was me creating a bunch of romantic scenarios in my head, picturing us on dates and thinking that he was going to be a bit like a relationship, just to find out that he stared right through me. That really hurt, way too much.
Sarah was obviously none the wiser, so she continued talking to him and befriending him like they were going to be buddies, so I turned back around and busied myself. I didn’t want Spike to think that I gave a shit about him, if he didn’t care about me. I also didn’t want either of them to see me as I hastily blinked the tears away.
I was an idiot. I didn’t think it was possible to feel so foolish. Thank God I didn’t end up going to bed with him last night or this would be even more humiliating…unless that was why he’d started to ignore me. He acted like it was all fine, and that he didn’t mind whether or not we ended up having sex, but that could have all been an act. I mean, I wouldn’t have exactly expected to have to deal with this shit either.
Urgh, if I was really planning on returning to dating, then I was going to have to get a much thicker skin. This was an introduction to how hard it was going to be. I wasnotprepared for this. The fact that Spike was still here and he hadn’t had the decency to take off as soon as he realized that the one person he didn’t want to talk to was there, hit me hard.
Maybe he got off on the torture. Perhaps this was one of his things.
“Oh, I think Robert is calling me. He’s the director,” Sarah giggled flirtily. How could I warn her against Spike without letting her know that I’d already kissed him? I didn’t want to see their sordid affair playing out in front of me…not that anything had happened. “I better go. But it was good to meet you, Spike. I feel much better knowing that you are around.”
Sarah left, whipping the air out of the room with her. I couldn’t stand how tense the place had suddenly gotten. I waited for Spike to leave, but I guess I had no choice but to try and face him when it became obvious that he wasn’t going anywhere.
“Arya,” he finally whispered as I turned to face him. “I’m so sorry about that. I didn’t mean to come across as an asshole then. That was never my intention, I just…” He bit down on his bottom lip. “This is a big gig for us, and I don’t want to mess things up.”
