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“Yes.” There was nothing else she could say to that. She trusted him or she wouldn’t have told him what happened to her. “But–”
“No buts. Let’s just stick with yes,” he said firmly.
“Jake’s going to be upset with me for not telling him.”
“Jake is going to be upset that something bad happened to you. That he couldn’t protect you. And that you were too scared to go to him and tell him what happened. But even if he is upset with you, he will not show it.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I won’t allow him to.”
“You know that you’re not in charge of everyone, right?”
“I’m in charge of you. And no one is allowed to upset you.” He winced for some reason. Did he have a headache or something? “I mean, I want to help keep you safe from everything.”
“You can’t keep me safe from everything,” she pointed out.
“I can.”
Whoa. He really was crazy.
And she was loving it. Loving him.
No. Nope. Hannah wasn’t ready for that.
“The more people that know what’s going on, the better we can keep you safe.”
“I don’t . . . I don’t want everyone to know.” More panic worked its way into her throat, tightening her airways.
“Whoa, baby. I wasn’t talking about telling everyone. But starting with Jake would be a good idea. Then we can find out if this guy who was arrested is the same one.”
“And if he isn’t?” How could she have been so stupid? She’d been so happy when she’d thought he’d been caught. She’d hoped that it might be a turning point for her. That she might start sleeping at night and stop looking over her shoulder all the time.
All right . . . so things hadn’t magically changed. But a weight had lifted off her shoulders.
But now . . . now that weight was coming back. And she wasn’t sure she could breathe.
He grasped hold of her chin. His touch was light. But the look in his eyes was intense. “Remember, you use me as an anchor. Hold on to me in the storm. I will always hold you up. I am here for you and I’m going nowhere.”
She sucked in a breath, nodding shakily.
“Tell me you believe me.”
“I believe you. I was . . . I was scared that you might see me differently.”
“I do.”
She veered back in shock, losing his touch. What?
“I can see now that you’re even stronger and braver than I thought you were.”
She shook her head. Was he nuts? Her? Brave? Not even a little bit.
“You are,” he insisted. “Hannah, you could have given up, but you didn’t. You kept going. You went back to work, found a place to live, and opened yourself up to me.”
“I’ve been hiding, though. I haven’t wanted anyone to know what happened, so I’ve been pushing them all away. Hiding in plain sight behind baggy clothes and my ice queen persona.”
“You didn’t want them to know because Steven might find out,” he guessed.
“That was part of it. You know, I don’t want to talk anymore.”
“Hannah.” He didn’t say anything else. He just waited.
Urgh, she’d always been a sucker for silence. She wanted to fill it.
“Because I was ashamed.”
He sucked in a sharp breath. “You know you have nothing to be ashamed of.”
“I had misgivings about him. There were huge red flags, and I still let him manipulate me. Let him . . . let him hurt me. Touch me. I was so stupid!”
“No,” he said fiercely. “You were manipulated by someone who is obviously a master at it. How many people before you do you think were fooled? He knew how to read you. How to keep you compliant. But that is all on him, not you. Do not call yourself stupid again or you’re going to be in trouble. Understand me?”
28
Fuck.
What was he doing? He was supposed to be soothing her. Keeping her calm. Treating her gently.
Not bossing her around and telling her that she’d get into trouble. The last thing she needed was him trying to dominate her.
But he’d had enough of her speaking badly about herself though. He was getting to the point of wanting to gag her every time she said something like that.
Maybe you should. You could kiss her.
And force something else on her? No way. He wouldn’t do that. From now on . . . kid gloves. He was going to show her that he could be gentle and sweet.
That was the best thing he could do for her.
“You really don’t think that it’s my fault?”
“Fuck, no, baby. And no one else will either.”
“I’m still not ready for people to know,” she admitted. “I’ll . . . I’ll tell Jake, but only if he promises to be careful about how he looks into Steven. And to not tell anyone else in Haven.”
“I’m sure he will do that. But baby, you need to know that no one will see you differently. To them, you’ll always be Hannah. The person they admire and love.”
