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In his arms, she felt safe.
“Um, I’m sorry about reading your text,” she said hastily. She wasn’t sure about being punished when he sounded as stern as he did right now.
“Yes, although that’s only part of what you have to be sorry about,” he informed her.
Only part? Eek.
“What else?”
“When I asked you what color you were, what did you say?”
Oh. Hell.
“Green.”
“And what color were you?” he asked in that same dark voice.
Shoot.
“Yellow, bordering on red.”
“You do not lie to me. And you especially do not lie when we are playing. Do you understand me? I might be a beginner at this, but I know that consent is key. So is communication. So you do not lie.”
Shit. Fuck.
“You’re really mad.”
He sucked in a breath, let it out slowly. “Do you know why I’m angry?”
“Because I lied.”
“And those lies put you in jeopardy. What if I hadn’t realized you were lying? What if I’d kept going and pushed you into a panic attack? Do you realize how damaging that could have been for both of us?”
“I’m so sorry, Raid.” She stuck her face into his chest, fighting back tears. He hated when she cried. And she’d already caused enough issues tonight.
“I don’t like that, darlin’.” He ran his hand up and down her back.
Crap. Those tears were coming. “I just wanted to be normal again. To show you that I wasn’t weak.”
“Fuck, baby. I don’t think you’re weak. You’re the strongest person I know.”
She shook her head. “I’m not. I have panic attacks and nightmares. I was a coward who wouldn’t tell anyone what happened. All I did was hide from everyone.”
“You survived as best you could,” he told her fiercely. “You don’t think someone else would have just given up? You didn’t. Instead, you came back to the place where you knew you were safe. You got a job, a place to live, and you kept going. That is brave. That is beautiful. Understand me?” He cupped her face in his hands.
“I understand.” And for the first time, she might almost believe it.
He kissed her hard. “Good. Now, go get ready for bed.”
“Wait. Aren’t you . . . aren’t you going to punish me?”
He shook his head. “I am, but not tonight. I think you’ve been through enough.” He tried to lift her off his lap, but she clung on. “Hannah?”
“I need you to punish me tonight.”
“Hannah–”
“I can’t wait until tomorrow or whenever. The guilt will eat me up. I know I did the wrong thing. I know I deserve this. Please, Raid.”
Fuck.
Could he do this? Well, yeah. She wouldn’t be the first woman he’d spanked.
But this was different. This wasn’t a fun, sexy spanking.
And this was Hannah.
She was a million times more important than any of those other women. And she’d been through so much trauma. He didn’t want to do anything to add to that.
“I don’t know, Hannah.”
It was her turn to grab his chin, surprising him. “Raid, sometimes you have to trust that I do know what I need. I know I’m not good at taking care of myself–”
“Finally, she admits it,” he muttered.
“But I do know I need this. Now. Or it will eat away at me.”
He studied her face. She seemed determined. But she was also wrong. She was delicate. And he did have to be mindful of her. However, he didn’t want her to stay awake all night thinking about this and worrying.
He put her on her feet. This time, she let him. But there was a look of despondency on her face. Then he turned her to the bathroom and slapped her ass. She jumped.
“Go do anything you need to do to get ready for bed. Then I want you back here with no panties. You’re getting twenty over my knee.”
She sucked in a breath and looked over her shoulder at him. The look on her face . . . it was filled with such happiness and love that it shook him.
“Thank you.”
Christ. This girl. She constantly surprised him.
39
Hannah stepped out of the bathroom, dressed in just Raid’s T-shirt, feeling shy and filled with trepidation.
She stilled and took in Raid. He was sitting at the side of the bed, wearing just his boxers. He widened his legs and crooked a finger at her.
“Come here, Hannah.”
She walked over to him and he drew her between his legs, his hands on her ass, massaging it. “You good, baby?”
Damn.
Such a good man.
“Yes, Raid.”
“Are you going to be my good girl and take your spanking?”
There was no panic.
Just warmth. And a bit of nerves.
“Yes, Raid.”
“I love the way you say my name. What’s your safeword?” he asked.
“Peach.”
He gave her a stern look. “The main reason you earned this spanking is because you didn’t use your safeword when you needed to. Can I trust you to use it if you need to during your spanking?”
