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“Oh, I probably should have asked first, but I kind of announced releasing a couple of songs tonight.” I brace for the lecture, but Liam only nods. “Figured we could use some of your recording equipment.”
“I already saw. I think you should take a look at your post.”
Brows furrowed, I open up social media.
“Holy shit.” My heart swells in my chest at the love already pouring out of our fans. Not just Atonement’s fans, but hardcore loyal fans of Visage, too. Everyone’s sharing songs from their old album and begging for Zander’s return.
When I lift my head back up, my eyes shoot wide open as I take in the empty parking lot Liam pulls into. There’s a crazy cool mural painted on the brick wall facing the street, a collage of music notes and records and brutal looking angels levitating on razor-sharp wings. There are pieces of Atonement and Visage woven into the images, and I already sense the oncoming wave of tears.
“What is this?” I ask quietly, sniffling.
Liam removes his sunglasses, and I catch the mischievous reddish glint in his dark brown eyes. “My new studio. Let’s go record your hits.”
My heart has turned to goo, but I still slam his car door shut to hammer home my point. “You’re kidding me. You really fucking hid the fact that you bought a fancy ass recording studio? Do Malek and Griff know?”
He shrugs. “They’ll find out tonight. Already sent them the address. Pizza’s on the way, too.”
I shake my head, cursing under my breath as he pulls out his keys and unlocks the front door. In a way, he’s a lot like Z. He keeps himself tucked away. Keeps his demons buried deep, some of them still unknown to me, despite the fact that I’ve been friends with the guy forever.
But witnessing Liam’s growth over the years, seeing where he’s at now, gives me hope that Z will get here, too.
When the clock hits midnight and we launch two heart-wrenching singles with clean vocals into the world, hot tears prick my eyes at the overwhelming positivity everyone is sending Z’s way. I hope it will give him the strength to come back to me soon.
And I hope everyone out there suffering from invisible wounds like Z and Liam, can find the self-love they deserve.
Thirty-Four
Love Letters
Heythere,sunshine!
I’m ashamed at how long it took me to find a loophole in this whole no texts or calls agreement.
If you thought I was going to forget you just because you’re across a motherfucking ocean, you’re so wrong. And because it took my dumbass over a month to figure out how to communicate with you without breaking my promise, get ready for a whole boatload of letters, Z! Not just from me, but from supporting fans, too. There’s literally nothing you can do about it (maniacal laughter).
I mean, you could shred the letters, but I feel like you’re more of a stuff them in a shoebox and hide them in a closet type of guy. You fancy words too much to destroy them.
Also, sorry for using Liam’s PI to track you down again. I wanted to know that you were safe. I had a bit of a meltdown a week into leaving you. Honestly, I’m still fighting the urge to jump on a plane and come to where you are.
I’ll be good, I promise. As long as you need me to be. And when you’re back in my arms, maybe we’ll read all of my crap letters and laugh at my disgustingly sweet devotion to you. Liam thinks I’m pathetic.
Other than the fact that I miss you, things are okay here. Liam and I recorded two of the songs you wrote and did a “soft release” on them. They are being so well-received!
I had a heart-to-heart with Malek and Griff about my desire to take a backseat for a while. Would you believe I’m now Atonement’s lead guitarist? Probably not long-term. Especially not if you want the job. I’ll happily step aside and cheer my fucking heart out for you.
We actually had an overwhelming amount of people audition for vocals, and I cannot wait for you to meet our pick. Maria is an absolute beast! If you haven’t heard her yet, can you wait to listen to her with me? I want to see your reaction. Though, Malek and Griff really need to lay off the flirting and realize they’re in a business relationship with her.
Oh wait, HA!
Anyway, the weather has cooled down here, finally, and it just makes me ache for you even more. I miss our cozy movie nights and music wormholes and coffee shop visits and park adventures. I sound so old, don’t I? Why don’t we just book a permanent table at the Cracker Barrel already? You probably don’t know what that is, but that’s okay. We’ll hit that place up soon.
I love you. Please keep fighting.
- Hails
Hails,
You would find a way to circumvent rules. But I’m glad you did. I’ve proven I don’t make good decisions, and my choice to try to keep all communication from you was wrong. So I’m sorry for that. You’re always fighting for me, and I’m always running away.
