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In the morning, in a complete role reversal from the night before, it was I who was waiting in the kitchen when he tiptoed out of the guest room. As soon as he saw me, his face hardened and he quickened his steps for the front door.
I sipped my tea, tamping down the urge to chase after him.
He returned a moment later after depositing his bag in the foyer.
Again, I made no move to follow him with anything more than my gaze.
He reappeared a second time with the children’s belongings slung over his shoulder. Except this time, he was halfway to the door when he stopped and pivoted, glaring at me. “You’re not going to say anything?”
“What would you like me to say? Lies upset you. The truth upsets you. What’s left?”
He opened his mouth for a rebuttal but snapped it shut again with a shake of his head.
“If you leave, I won’t chase you anymore,” I called after him.
Stomping back to the kitchen, his expression vacillated between confusion and indignation. “Excuse me?”
“You like being chased,” I replied with a shrug. “You like being wanted. It gives you the upper hand, the power to say ‘Yes’ or ‘No.’ And I grant that power to you, freely, because I don’t ever want you to think I’m forcing you to be here. But the time for playing games has passed. I will honor my promises, even if you leave. I will kill Alonzo and I will make sure Ken stays as far away from you as possible until it’s time for him to die, then I’ll kill him as well. But I will not pursue you anymore, no matter how much it hurts.”
“I don’t do ultimatums,” he snapped back.
“It’s not an ultimatum. I’m simply laying out your options so there’s no confusion or misdirection for either of us. I love you even though I shouldn’t. I love you so much it terrifies me. But I won’t grovel. You either want to be here, or you don’t. You can either live with what’s happened, or you can’t. That’s your decision and I can’t make it for you.”
My cell phone chirped with an alert. I stole a glance at the message from Anton and slid off the barstool, slipping my emerald suit jacket on as I crossed the kitchen toward him. “You don’t have to decide this very minute.”
“Where are you going?” Marek’s brow furrowed, less suspicious and more concerned for a change, as if arguing with me was preferable to being left alone.
“I have some business to tend to. I’ll be back later this evening.”
“If you want me to stay, then cut the bullshit. Where the fuck are you going?”
“I’m going to murder some people,” I replied, keeping my tone neutral and meeting his gaze head-on. If he wanted every detail, I’d oblige him, even though it was the last thing I wanted to discuss.
His eyes widened ever so slightly but he quickly replaced the look with a challenging smirk. “In broad daylight?”
“Yes. It creates confusion. Panic. Panicked people make mistakes. They also group together, thinking there is safety in numbers. It makes them a bigger, easier target to exterminate.”
He considered me with his head cocked, all trace of sarcasm gone from his face. “Wow. I’ve never seen you like this. Usually, you’re so… I don’t know. Notthis. Not talking about ‘exterminating’ a group of people like you’re ordering a drink.”
“I told you before, I didn’t get to where I am by chance. This is the side of me I tried to shield you from. This is the ugly side of my business. And if you stay, this is your future.”
“Future? What future?” Marek said, barely above a whisper. “I don’t really know you at all. This whole thing has been a lie. And I fell for it.”
I slid forward a step, somewhat relieved he stayed where he was instead of backing up. Caressing the side of his face, I tried to convey everything I felt for him in that touch alone, in case it was the last time. “Youdoknow me, Marek. You know me better than anyone. I’ve never lied about my feelings for you.”
“I want to believe you.”
“But?”
“How can I? I’m so fucking mad at you for everything… but the thought of never seeing you again?” He averted his gaze, his throat constricting. “It’s like I can’t breathe.”
“I will do whatever you ask. Whatever it takes to earn your trust again.”
“Complete transparency from now on.” His dark gaze cut back to me. “Even the bad shit. No more ‘we’re not talking about this or that.’ It’s all or nothing.”
I didn’t like those terms at all but I nodded anyway. “Agreed.”
“Ok, then. Go murder people.” The corner of his mouth tilted up into a half-smile. “Jesus Christ. I can’t believe I said that and actually meant it.”
