AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“My pleasure, as always.”
“Pretty sure tonight was all my pleasure.” They dart a reproachful glance toward my crotch. I guess I didn’t have them so distracted they didn’t notice I didn’t come tonight. That hasn’t happened with them in ages, but I wasn’t really in the mood with worry about losing them gnawing at the edges of my awareness. If they’re falling for me, I can’t keep this up. So if being a little cool with them forestalls that… it’s less cruel than encouraging them.
I can’t resist watching them dress in their work clothes from earlier. I’ll miss that view when this ends. The lovely curve of their hips, the dimpled perfection of their naked ass. How their hair cascades over their bare shoulders. Angel gives me a tight smile when they catch me watching them. I walk them back downstairs.
We both glance at the gift bag dangling by the door. Then Angel struggles back into their too-small boots. If I was going to get them a gift for the holiday, it would be proper warm boots that actually fit. No matter how good their legs look in their current pair with a slight heel.
I hold the door open for Angel before I can get caught up in how precious they’ve become to me and break down to offer them a ride.
“Bye, Saint. I don’t need the tin back.” Angel’s gaze lingers on my face, hopeful.
Behind Angel, I catch a glimpse of Carl’s new beau, Nick, approaching. My mood sours further. Carl is so excited about their date tonight. Nick better live up to the hype. As long as he keeps making my bestie happy, my personal feelings of loss at potentially being demoted from the most important person in my dearest friend’s life don’t matter. Not as long as he’s what Carl wants. But does everything really have to unravel all at once, right now?
“Yeah. Okay.” I sound churlish and distracted, but I need to create distance.
“Call me?” Angel holds their finger and thumb up to the side of their face and I’m struck by the absurdity of that gesture in the age of cellphones. Their kids would probably laugh at it.
Wind gusts and I tug my robe tighter closed. It’s cold. Once more, I have to bite my tongue against offering that ride. I don’t want them freezing, but there are other ways I can offer help.
“Here.” I grab an extra scarf from the hall closet and loop it around Angel’s neck. I wish I could drape them in cashmere all the time. Warm them up and keep them safe. But I can’t blur the parameters of our friendship anymore than I already have. It’s not fair. Not to either of us.
Our eyes lock as I tug them in closer to adjust the scarf around their neck. Angel kisses me, and I don’t have the willpower to deny myself one more taste of their lips. I clutch the soft scarf like a lifeline as I kiss Angel goodbye.
Should I reconsider our Christmas plans? It might be time to have another heart-to-heart about what we are to each other. And what I can never be to them.
“Bye, Angel.” I release my grip on the scarf and steer them out the door.
“Bye, Saint.” They cast one last wistful glance at me over their shoulder before trudging off into the night. Only half paying attention to my conversation with Nick, I can’t tear my gaze off Angel huddling against the cold. I admonish Nick to treat my bestie right even as I watch Angel turn out of sight. Yeah, I’m already kicking myself for being a massive hypocrite. This is not treating Angel the way they deserve.
I should have offered to drive them. It’s dark and the roads aren’t great and they shouldn’t have to walk home in the snow with their kid in this weather. If I throw on some clothes now, I can catch Angel before they get to the community center that hosts Owen’s tae kwon do classes. I’ll worry about the consequences of that offer later.
Chapter 10
Angel (December 21st, 2023)
Idon’tknowhowwell I hid my disappointment with Saint’s reaction to the fudge. He might as well have dumped it in the trash bin with the way he looked at my meager holiday offering. I figured since Carl brought him cookies, holiday treats between friends were acceptable gifts. Apparently I thought wrong. Or he just doesn’t want foodfromme.
That stings, but I’ll get over it. I’ve got the entire trek to get Owen and take him home to let those emotions cool down. At least walking is getting my blood pumping and keeping me mostly warm.
The scarf Saint draped around my neck is so cozy and it smells like his cologne, woodsy and comforting. Maybe I should have refused to take it from him after he rejected my gift, but it’s freezing. I can always give it back to him during our next visit.
My adrenaline pounds when a car pulls alongside me halfway to the community center. I lengthen my stride and hunch my shoulders. At first, I stare resolutely straight ahead, just keeping the moving vehicle in my periphery.
Really, I doubt that ignoring it will help. Since when does ignoring assholes actually make them go away? It’s a toss up whether whoever is rolling down the driver’s side window is winding up to hurl slurs or catcalls at me. Or their own unoriginal blending of the two.
“Hey, darling. Need a ride?”
I startle at the familiar voice when it comes. I do a double take. It’s really Saint gazing at me from the toasty warm interior of his Mercedes with concern in his eyes.
I bite my cheek. There has to be a reason he didn’t offer me a ride from the start. My pride rebels at the idea of accepting the favor when he couldn’t even look at me properly over the fudge. But it’s cold and I want to be warm. I want to be someone who can depend on another person for a ride home. The prospect of lugging all of Owen’s gear home on foot with him tired and complaining about the long walk tips the scales.
“If it’s not too much trouble?”
“No trouble at all. I just remembered I’m out of cream for my coffee so I needed to drive this way regardless. Hop in.” Saint leans across the console to pop open the passenger side door. I scoot around the front of his vehicle and get in, luxuriating in the heat blasting from the vents.
“Ah, morning catastrophe averted.” My joke is tepid.
Saint cracks the tiniest of smiles. His excuse for following me rings hollow, but it lets us both save face. We can go back to pretending things between us aren’t off kilter. If I had to pinpoint when things changed for me, it would be the phone he bought for Meg. I shiver violently. My jacket isn’t really up for another Ontario winter.
