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My grin makes my cheeks ache. The tacit acknowledgement that Carl is my family, ex or not, eases a tension I didn’t realize I was carrying deep in my chest.
Angel could have offered to just get an aro flag, but the ace one encompasses both of us and I love that my partner made a point to include him too. Angel understands me in ways I never really let myself believe were possible before them. Is it any wonder I love them to pieces?
I finish loading presents into the truck while Angel packs up the last few decorations they want to bring with us. It’s mostly ornaments from the tree. We just have time to go back to my place and set everything up for the kids before Angel needs to leave for Trevor’s place.
Once again, I carry the presents while Angel sets to work, adding their memories to my tree. Once everything is inside, I hand them ornaments as they add them amongst the sparkling generic silver and gold baubles I got on discount after Carl and I split up.
It took me a few years to get a tree after our divorce. These ornaments look classy and modern and they utterly lack the heart and soul Carl puts into the tree we shared while we were together. That made it easier to bear the chasm of loneliness the holidays always brought with them. The ache for a future we couldn’t reconcile.
This year feels different with every ornament Angel adds to my tree. It’s like they’re breathing life back into a holiday that used to make me ache for everything I’m not. Not because I want to change, but because it’s always seemed inevitable that the people I start to let in want me to be someone else. Or they move on past the point where my ways of loving them can fulfill their needs.
Carl has always been the exception to that. But our routines are going to change if he and Nick work out the way I hope they do. Not necessarily for the worse, but change is still hard. It’s a thrill to have this new partnership with Angel to explore.
“There, what do you think?” Angel asks when they finish by placing my gnome next to the angel. They shoot me a questioning glance as they step back beside me to take in their work.
“It’s perfect.” A chaotic fusion of my staid decor with all the vibrancy of Angel and their kids. Like an artistic representation of the fact that Angel has been breathing life into my boring beige routines for years now. A bright spot in my days.
I sling my arm around them and kiss along their neck. Angel giggles and squirms in my arms, wriggling closer to me and making me wish we had all the time in the world to be together like this.
Their phone rings and we both sober as they answer it.
“Yeah, I’ll be there to get them as soon as I can. Give me about five minutes,” Angel says.
I don’t catch Trevor’s reply, but Angel winces and mouths a curse.
“No, I’m not at home.” Angel grits their teeth and I rub a soothing circle on their back. I wish I could take away the stress. Or wave a wand to make Trevor nicer to them, but all I can really do is support them.
“None of your business. Just have them ready, please?”
Angel holds the phone away from their ear, and I catch some angry insults. It’s so tempting to butt in. Threaten him with legal action. Tell him exactly what I could do to him if Angel gave me permission to go on the offensive for all the ways he’s broken the terms of their divorce decree. But Angel doesn’t want me to be their fixer. They just want my support. So I hold them and comfort them and bite my tongue about the verbal abuse spewing from their phone. For now.
“Okay. Be there soon. Bye.” Angel hangs up with a weary sigh. “Fuck.”
“Yeah.”
“If he wasn’t leaving the province in a week, I’d be sorely tempted to take you up on your offer to take him back to court.” They force a dry chuckle as they knuckle at their eyes.
“I’d love nothing more than to go after him to the full extent of the law.” I kiss their temple. “It would be sketchy as fuck to represent you now that you’re my partner. But I’d consider it for you.”
Angel slumps in my arms. “I appreciate the thought. It’s fine though. I have it in writing that he doesn’t want to deal with visitation anymore.”
That trips all my warnings. “Yeah, you are going to need him to sign an updated visitation agreement. To be on the safe side.”
“I do? There’s only a week before he’s gone.”
“I’ll draw something up for you tomorrow. Hopefully, he’ll sign it without any fuss. I can draft a letter that makes it clear signing is in his best interest if he doesn’t want to complicate his move.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“I don’t want the kids to ever question whether we had any sway over this. It’s going to be hard enough when they realize he’s not coming back. I don’t want them to think for a second that I made him give up his rights or had any role in him leaving.”
“They’re smart. I think they know where they stand with both of you, my dear. That’s not a betrayal you’re capable of. It’s going to be alright. But you need to cover your ass. The kids need to stay here. Where they are loved and wanted, not end up dragged off to another province where they don’t know anyone as part of some twisted power play.”
“Yeah. You’re right. Are you sure you don’t mind drawing up the papers?”
“No. I help my friends where I can.” It’s a relief that Angel realizes being grouped among my friends isn’t a slight against how important they are to me. I can tell them that and they just give me a grateful smile.
