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I questioned the thirst and why my body craved fluids. Drinking the murky river water could be even more detrimental.
By the river’s edge, I splashed water on my face, moistened my mouth then spat it out. I sat back and ignored the soft grizzle coming from Kaikare on my back. She was safe, and I needed to clear my thoughts as everything blurred around me.
Looking over my shoulder, I spotted my journal and pen in the sand. I must have dropped them when I was close to fainting.
I didn’t know what to do.
There was a fallen palm frond beside me.
I scrambled to my journal then wrote:
Help me.
From Ivy Monteford.
Sweat dripped off my chin and onto the page. Regardless, I tore out the page and wrapped it in a palm leaf. I tied it with twine to a small branch and was about to toss it into the river when I heard a motor.
I managed a croaky, “Help.”
I waved the palm frond in the air to get attention. In a last effort, I screamed at the top of my lungs. “Maria.”
Then I collapsed by the water, the side of my face in the sand as I struggled to keep my eyes open with the black dots joining before my eyes.
Lying and simply breathing must have been enough to stop me from passing out.
I could still hear the faint sound of a motor, and I wondered if I was hallucinating or wishing it to be true.
As I blinked through my tears, I lifted a hand to wave and only then heard the tears from my daughter still stuck on my back.
Maria jumped out of the boat and helped me to my feet.
“You came back.” I just managed to say the words.
“Many times, but you were never here,” she said quickly.
She kept repeating something in Spanish to the others.
“You’re going to be okay, Ivy.”
I clung to those words.
Until Weju yelled, “Tamu'ne Pupö.” White hair. The name I’m known by in the village. He glowered at Maria and her colleagues and yelled, “Awarö itoto.” Bad strangers or it could mean the enemy.
I was already in the curiara. Along with his threat, spears were raised in our direction. A hazy curtain fell over my eyes, and I was close to passing out. Maria panicked, pleading with me to convince them not to kill us.
In my mind, it happened in slow motion.
I’d never witnessed Weju’s intense expression. The shaman whispered in his ear. Even through my delusional haze, I knew it wasn’t good.
I managed to speak and begged him to let me go or I would die. I told him I needed white persons’ magic medicine to heal, and then I’d come back to him. I kept repeating I was dying and also told him I was pregnant and needed to save our child. I made a vocal promise to the spirits I would return.
He yelled for Kaikare with open arms, but the motor was already pushing us away from the embankment. She was in another woman’s arms.
My promise must have been enough.
Still, he looked furious.
I called out, “I love you,” before collapsing into Maria’s arms.
