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His eyes find me from across the room. “I’m sorry,” he mouths to me.
“Don’t be.” I shake my head, then go to him and squeeze his hand. “I’ll follow the ambulance and be there soon. Everything will be fine.”
“No rush. Hospital protocol and all.” He forces a reassuring smile. “You’ll be sitting around. Stay and rest and come up in the morning.”
“Itismorning, and I won’t be able to rest.” I turn to the paramedics. “Where are you taking him?
“To the Bedford Park hospital.”
“Good. Samuel works there. I’ll follow soon.”
“We’ll retrieve the ambulant chair so we can strap you in for the stairs,” the tall medic says.
“I can manage the stairs.” Samuel moves upright in the bed.
“Sir, we prefer you in the chair.”
“Samuel, your blood pressure,” his father reiterates sternly.
In perfect timing, Mum appears in the doorway. Her hair is unbrushed. I walk with her to Rose’s room. “How is he?”
“Stable for now. They’re concerned about his temperature and blood pressure.” She wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me in close.
“He’s in expert hands. He’ll be okay.”
“I’m sorry I panicked and called you. Rose is still asleep and will probably remain asleep until six. I didn’t want to leave her because Samuel’s parents are still strangers to her.”
“It’s fine. I’ll chat with them, and when she wakes, they can call me. I’ll come up and get her then rather than wake her now. It might be good for the three of them to have some alone time.”
“What if Rose cries because she doesn’t know them?”
Mum squeezes my hand. “I know you’re worried, but you don’t have to stress about this. Caroline is a mother.” She smiles. “And if Rose doesn’t settle, they can call me. You go in the ambulance, honey, and don’t worry about Rose.”
* * *
Samuel still feels cold, not the ice-cold sensation of when he was unconscious. I take his hand in mine, and his eyes flutter open.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers for the hundredth time. It’s all he says before his eyes close again, as though he’s completely exhausted.
“After you get some treatment,” I whisper. “You’re not coming home until you have an appointment to speak to a psychologist.”
His eyes search mine. He doesn’t argue with me or simply doesn’t have the energy.
I kiss his fingers wrapped in mine. “You scared me. We can make small talk and dance around this, yet nothing will help you heal except professional help.”
His eyes well up. “I’m sorry I let you down.”
Seeing him like this breaks me. “You didn’t,” I croak while shaking my head in disbelief.
“I tried to be strong.” He slowly closes his eyes and opens them again.
My heart shatters with him being ashamed, as though it’s a weakness on his behalf. “You’re the strongest person I know.” I lean and kiss his cheek. “You have superpowers to survive what you did.”
Silent tears stream down his cheeks. “Many didn’t.”
I place his hand over my heart, my hand covering his. “No, it’s to be expected. You tried. You can’t save everyone. The alternative was theyalldied if they remained in Ulara.” His eyes lower to our hands. “My heart beats for you, and it hurts for you. And right now, I’m hurting too.”
Samuel turns his head and closes his eyes as though something is destroying his demeanor. Today isn’t the time for him to deal with the past. I need him to focus his energy on healing himself so he can come home to me.
