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JOURNEY
When I step out of the room Tanner has given over to Shiloh, I take a deep breath and close my eyes. This thing between us is moving fast, there’s no denying it. I’m not nearly as scared as I should be. I probably should be running away from Tanner and the promises I see in his eyes.
He’s older than me, which we’ve talked about. The thing is, we don’t really care. I had to grow up fast and he’s steady in a way a guy my age might not be. I deserve steady. So does Shiloh.
He’s a biker, but he’s never hidden it from me. He’s been open and honest about the club, his brothers, and his life before he met me. He wasn’t a saint, but he never lied to the women he hooked up with. I suppose he could be telling me what I want to hear, but my gut doesn’t think so.
As my eyes open, they find Tanner standing across the hallway looking like he just stepped out of my filthiest fantasies, the ones I never wanted to acknowledge before because I needed all my focus to be on my daughter. The shirt he’s wearing is bunching and pulling across his chest where his arms are crossed. His jeans are unbuttoned and if that’s not sexy as hell then I don’t know what is. Then his ankles are crossed which only highlights his bare feet.
“Journey,” he rumbles, his voice enticing and reaching for me.
The man doesn’t need to say anything else because my feet are closing the distance between us without any input from my brain. I want him.
My nipples are hard and screaming for attention and they’re not alone. My pussy is fucking throbbing. I’ve been in his house more than once now and I’m tempted to run to his room and throw myself down on his bed before I beg him to fuck me hard and make me feel like the twinkle lights on the tree in my living room, the one he got for me and Shiloh. I barely stop myself from giving in, a little bit of fear that this is all too good to be true helping me to not make a fool of myself.
His dark eyes are intense as he looks down at me and I feel the way he searches the deepest part of me. The place where I locked away my dreams and my hopes. I had to do it or else I wouldn’t have survived. I did it for my daughter, but I walled up my heart at the same time. I don’t regret it; it was for my own sanity.
I don’t think those walls matter anymore. Tanner has already gotten past them.
And it scares the hell out of me.
On our way over to Tanner’s house tonight, Shiloh was quiet. I glanced at her in the rearview mirror while keeping my voice gentle, “Is everything okay? If you don’t want to go over there, all you have to do is tell me.”
“I like Tanner,” she murmured. She glanced up at me and our eyes locked for a second before I looked back at the road. “He makes you happy, Mommy. I want you to be happy.”
My eyes welled up with tears, but I didn’t let them fall. But her words stuck with me.
I want to be happy too.
I’m going to have to get over my fears and take a chance. I know it, but that doesn’t make it easier.
Tanner’s voice, rough with need and maybe a little fear of his own, pulls me back to the present, “You gonna let me in, pretty girl? You gonna give yourself to me?”
He doesn’t just mean letting him have my body. He means everything. A man like Tanner isn’t going to accept anything less.
My movements are slow as I reach for him and wrap my arms around his neck. His hands fall to his sides for a beat before he wraps them around me. For such a big man who has been trained to kill, his touch is gentle as he holds me.
“I’m yours.” The admission slips from my lips without thinking about it, but the longer they hang in the air between us, the more I feel how right it is.
I never expected him, but I learned a long time ago how surprises can change your life and give you things you never knew you needed. Like Shiloh. Like the man in front of me.
Tanner buries his fingers in my hair and takes my mouth in a kiss as sweet as it is filthy. My legs wrap around his waist when he lifts me effortlessly, making me feel weightless and cherished at the same time.
When he lays me down on his bed, we look into each other’s eyes for a moment. Something profound shifts inside of us.
I’m not alone anymore. I’m not facing the world with only my walls to protect me and my little girl. I have Tanner now and he’ll stand in front of an army to ensure we don’t get hurt.
Let’s hope it doesn’t come down to that.
His hands are so fucking gentle as he takes off my clothes one piece at a time.
“I won’t break, Tanner,” I purr. “I don’t want you to hold back.”
The sexy man smirks at me. “There’s going to be plenty of time for me to fuck you dirty, Journey. I’m going to savor you. It’s the last first time either of us will have.” As he pulls my bra away from my tits, he kisses between them. “Enjoy it,” he hums against my skin.
My back arches and my body feels like it’s on fire, but I try to do what he says. Still, I feel like I’m about to jump out of my damn skin by the time he has me naked. And he’s still dressed, well, except for his unbuttoned jeans and his shoes.
I watch intently as he reaches back and pulls his shirt off with one hand. Holy shit, he’s really hitting all my hot guy buttons. The look he gives me tells me he knows exactly what I’m thinking.
