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She looks around again and then scowls at me. I know it shouldn’t be, but it’s fucking adorable. “You want to talk? Now?” Her tone is full of scornful incredulity, “You have got to be fucking kidding me.”
“I’ve wanted to talk to you for a long time, Saoirse,” I admit and flash her a small smile.
“But you didn’t,” she bites out. She makes a motion with her hand between us. “You’ve been distant and have barely even looked at me in years, but suddenly, you want to talk? You want me? Now? After I spent so much time trying to move on?”
Saoirse’s eyes widen and she slaps her hands over her mouth like she didn’t want to say the last part. But I heard her.
My heart starts to crack open at the idea of her trying to move on, but she had every right to do it. I’m the one who pulled away without any explanation. I practically shoved her hard enough to send her across the country.
That’s on me.
I cup my woman’s face with one hand and pull her hands gently from her mouth with the other. “I’m sorry,” I murmur softly, hoping she knows how much I feel it. “I know those are just words. I know nothing can take away the things I did and the choices I made. They hurt you and I feel like a fucking idiot and an asshole. I hate that I hurt you.”
She narrows her eyes at me and hisses, “You didn’t hurt me, Conor.” I open my mouth, but she’s not done. Her shoulders slump and the mask of anger makes way for so much hurt on her face that she might as well take a knife to my gut. “You destroyed me. I had no idea what I did wrong. I had no idea what was going on. You were there and such a big presence in my life and then you were just,” her voice cracks, “gone.”
I wrap her up in my arms and pull her against my chest. The way she straddles my lap is distracting as fuck, but first I need to set some things straight. Then I can claim my woman.
“I’m so fucking sorry,mo bhanphrionsa,” I whisper against the shell of her ear. “I wish I could take it back, but I can’t. I saw the way you looked at me and I knew you had a crush. I thought putting some distance between us would be better than breaking your heart. I didn’t consider how those actions would hurt you just as much, if not more. I was stupid and you were too young.”
“Conor,” her voice trembles and she tucks her head against my chest.
I slide my fingers into her hair and pull until she’s looking up at me again. “Don’t hide from me,” I implore her, “please.”
She bites her lip and nods. “You knew? You knew I had a crush on you?”
I arch an eyebrow. “Had?”
The little huff she lets out as she rolls her eyes has me smiling. There might be residual scars which need to be dealt with, but we’re going to be okay. My heart starts beating again; when was the last time it did that? It feels like it’s been so damn long.
“Whatever,” she mumbles and tries to duck her head again.
The grip I have on her hair won’t let her get far. Just the way I want her. My cock is so fucking hard, I’m sure she’s noticed it. It really can’t be helped with how close her pussy is to my dick.
Everything in me screams to roll us over and take what’s mine.
“Do you think you can forgive me? I want this. I want you. All I had was time while you were away—time to miss you, time to think about you, time to beat myself up over my own stupidity. I need you, Saoirse. I’m sorry it took so long for me to realize it. I’m sorry I hurt you because of my own fears.”
She blinks at me a few times and I can practically see the wheels in her brilliant brain spinning. “What were you afraid of?”
I huff out a small laugh and shake my head. “That you’re far too good for me. That I won’t be enough for you. That I’ll let myself feel everything I know is right there in my soul for you and then I’ll be broken when you figure out you could have so much better.”
She tries not to smile at my words, but I see it all the same. There’s a teasing lilt in her voice, “You weren’t afraid of Declan?”
I shrug and look down into her eyes, wishing the lighting was better because she has the most beautiful blue eyes I’ve ever seen. “I’m sure Declan will have an issue with it, but it’s not going to stop me. I was worried about his reaction. He loves you so much and is so protective of you, but he also gave you the freedom to go far away for school. Maybe he can accept us together too.”
She nods slowly as her hands slide up my arms and around my shoulders. “So, that’s what you want? For us to be together?”
“I’m just as much yours as you are mine.”
The words are barely out of my mouth before her lips are capturing mine. I kiss her back, tasting her sweetness and her light, swallowing it down and making it part of me. Maybe it’ll be enough to wash the darkness from my soul. Maybe not.
It doesn’t matter because I’ll always fight—for her, for myself, for us. If anyone tries to harm her, they’ll find out I won’t hesitate to spill blood in her name. Always in her name.
I move us until she’s flat on her back in the middle of her bed and I’m hovering over her. She feels so much smaller than me as I cage her in. The way her legs are wrapped around my waist as she grinds her sweet pussy against my hard length is distracting as fuck.
My hands are shaking as I start to remove our clothing, each piece tantalizing and humbling. There’s no hesitation in the way she touches me, the way she kisses me. She wants this just as much as I do.
When we’re naked, my entire being sighs when our skin touches. “This is what I’ve been missing my entire life,” I whisper against her neck as I pepper kisses along the column of her throat.
