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“Hey, babe!” he chirps into his mic. “You missed quite a bit of drama today.”
“Oh, really?”
Neil launches into a recap of Bunny’s adventures in getting shot, and I pretend to listen like a good online girlfriend. To my surprise, Neil gives me—well, Keys-me, not Bunnyluv-me—props for having the balls to donate my blood to save Bunny. He goes on and on about how I didn’t hesitate to roll up my sleeve and let Doc hook me up, though he seems to have no clue how terrified I was, how I couldn’t even look at the needle in Doc’s hand until after the I.V. was in and done.
“Wow. That’s some day you’ve had!” I wish I could change the subject. I feel like an ass for lying to Neil. “You and this Keys guy seem to get along well.”
Neil sighs. “Yeah, but I get the feeling he wants more than I’m interested in. Like, he’s made a couple comments, and I like the guy, but … I don’t know. I’ve never even thought about men like that, not the way he seems to be hinting.”
Uh oh. I shouldnotbe listening to Neil wax philosophic about my attraction to him. I feel like I’m snooping, even though he’s talking directly to me. Well, to Bunnyluv69.
“Wish I had some advice for you, but, uh, I’ve got nothing.” Exceptgo to him! I know for a fact that he—I—would one hundred percent be okay with that. “Maybe you should take some time to mull it over. I mean, if he’s interested, it might be worth it to consider things. Didn’t you say the other two guys there with you hook up sometimes?”
“Kendrick and Doc? Yeah. They’re a thing, I guess, just like everybody’s got a thing with Bunny. I don’t think Keys hooks up with either of them, though. Just him and Bunny.”
That’s because Kendrick’s a dick, and I’m not attracted to Doc like that. We don’t have the kind of connection that I have with Neil. Plus, he controls the needles in this place. I can’t deal with the thought of him stabbing me when my guard’s down. Not that he’d do that, but paranoia isn’t exactly logical. “Okay, so … if he’s into both guys and girls, maybe you should, I don’t know, give it a try.”
Neil sighs. “I dunno. I mean, I shouldn’t hook up with a guy just because everybody else is doing it. I should have feelings for him, y’know. It wouldn’t be fair otherwise.”
“Sexual feelings, or feelings like you have for me?” I shouldn’t poke. I shouldn’t poke. I shouldn’t poke …
“That’s different. You and me—we justclick.”
“And you don’t ‘click’ with this Keys guy?”
When Neil pauses on the other end, I worry I’m pushing too hard.
“Hey, Bunnyluv, babe, I’ll be right back. Don’t log off, I just gotta bio real quick.”
“Okay, babe.”
I sit there watching his avatar shift positions randomly, as though Noobslayer is bored without Neil making him run around. I already miss chatting with him, even though he’s just down the hall, just taking a leak before we play some more. I find myself staring at his toon on the screen, my heart thumping in my chest as I wait for him to log back on and declare his undying love for me.Me, not Bunnyluv.
“You could’ve told me.”
Neil’s voice startles me so much I almost jump out of my chair. I yelp and fumble at the keys, trying to log off before he sees the screen, but he reaches around from behind me and takes my wrists in his hands. I freeze, uncertain how much I’ve pissed him off by not coming clean. On the screen, my Bunnyluv avatar goes through her own random pose shift, crossing her arms over her chest in a most ironic fashion.
“Why didn’t you say something?” he whispers into my ear, his breath hot on my neck.
I’m trapped. His fingers hold me in a featherlight grip, but I can’t break it. I can’t move, can’t do anything but fear the repercussions of my actions.
My body trembles as Neil rotates my chair around and rubs my pulse points with his thumbs, as his lips brush the skin on the side of my neck. I keep waiting for the hammer to drop, for him to suddenly lash out.
He doesn’t.
Instead, he pulls my arms to my chest, shifts his grip to hold both wrists in his bandaged hand, and uses the other to pull off my headset. He inspects the switch on the side of the mic. “This how you do it? How you make me think you’re her?”
I should fess up. I should say something,anything. Why can’t I speak?
The headset clatters to the floor, and Neil tips my chin up with a finger. I find myself gazing into his blue eyes, a different shade from my own but still beautiful in their own right. Tears well up, blurring my vision as I await my punishment.
“You should’ve fucking told me.” His voice is low and steady, though his hands shake.
We stare at each other for what feels like forever, his eyes searching mine for—for what? What’s he looking for? Contrition? Regret? I don’t feel those things, not like I should. All I feel is terror at being caught. Terror, and an unbridled lust that not even Bunny can invoke.
When he finally breaks the spell and leans in, Neil’s lips are soft yet firm against mine. My eyes drift closed as I revel in the feel of them, and when he reaches up and pulls the lollipop out of my mouth, I don’t stop him.
“This thing’s in the way,” he says, tossing it into a nearby trash can. It hits the metal bin with a clang. “That’s better …” His lips descend on mine again, and his hand finally releases my wrists. I let my hands fall to Neil’s waist. My thumbs gently rub his hipbones while we kiss, but I refrain from going any further. What if he changes his mind? What if he decides he doesn’t like this?
