Page 9 of Call Me Bunny


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With a groan, I open my eyes. Well, one of them. The other has something covering it, and after a few seconds of confusion, I realize it’s an ice pack blocking my vision. I try to sit up, but a slender hand presses on my chest, pushing me back down before I can rise.

“Lie still, dude. Doc stitched you back up, but you really should rest for now.”

Doc? What nurse calls her doctor “Doc”?

“Where am I?” I raise my good hand and pull the ice pack off my face so I can see better. I blink, and when my double vision melds into one image, I see the blue-and-pink-haired girl from the club. Bunny. She said to call her Bunny.

Did that really happen? Maybe my battered brain took the nurse from this hospital and spliced her into my memories of the club. That has to be it. No way some total stranger would not only rescue me by beaning a massive bodyguard with a baseball bat but also follow me to the hospital and sit at my bedside until I woke up. That kind of shit only happens in, like, bad movies.

The nurse smiles and nudges the sleeping guy in the chair next to her. He’s got shoulder-length silver-blonde hair, and his open shirt reveals a smooth, toned chest and pierced nipples. The guy wakes with a start and pulls a sucker out of his mouth. A fresh waft of cherry scent hits my nostrils.

“Oh, cool! He’s awake. Hey, man.” Something about the guy’s voice is familiar, but I’m so addled I can’t quite place it.

“How are you feeling?” The nurse strokes my right cheek, avoiding the swollen left side of my face. “If you need something for pain, let me know. I can have Doc give you something more.”

Part of me wonders why the nurse is wearing shorty-shorts and a tank top. What kind of hospital is this?

The man next to her pops the sucker back in his mouth and frowns. “He seems kind of sluggish. Think we should interrupt Kendrick and Doc to get him checked over? I mean, I know Doc said there was no, like, brain damage, but maybe we should have him do some more tests.”

The nurse shrugs. “I think he’s just groggy from the anesthesia still. Give him some time to shake it off.”

“Where am I?” I repeat, hoping to hear “Summer City General” or something equally reassuring. This outfit seems more like a back-alley clinic, and as my eyes adjust to my surroundings, I note the cracks and stains on the ceiling. The rows of fluorescent lights above me seem kind of expansive for a hospital room. Am I in a recovery ward? Nothing about this is adding up.

Sucker Guy answers first. “You’re in the Burrow. You got kicked to shit by one of Sam Ramsey’s goons, but Bunny here took care of him for you. Our buddy Doc patched you up, but you’re still pretty badly hurt. Your right hand is swollen, and your left eye’s got a nasty shiner. I’m surprised you can even open it. What else, Bun?”

Bunny, the nurse, taps her lip in thought. “Couple bruised ribs. Oh! And Doc and Kendrick had to jam your shoulder back in the joint. I think that’s it, though. All in all, you escaped with relatively minimal injury.” She beams. “No brain damage!”

“Minimal injury”? How can she say that? It sounds like I’m lucky to be breathing! “I’ve never heard of a hospital called ‘the Burrow.’ Are we still in Summer City?”

Bunny and Sucker Guy exchange a glance before Bunny answers me.

“Um … The Burrow isn’t exactly a hospital. But yeah, we’re still in S.C.”

“Not a hospital? Where the fuck did you take me if not a hospital?”

Bunny rolls her eyes and shrugs. “Look, we didn’t have time to waste with hospital intake, and besides, they would’ve had a bunch of questions we couldn’t answer with you unconscious. Doc’s the best there is outside of the hospital, though, and he got you stable in record time.” She smiles at me like there’s nothing wrong with that statement. “Your ID says your name is Neil. I’m Bunny, and this is Keys—er, Tommy. We live here in the Burrow with Doc and Kendrick. They’re, um … busy right now, but I can go get Doc if you really need him.”

Keys snorts. “Busy my ass. Just say it: they’re fucking.”

I close my eyes again and put the ice pack back on. This is all too much. I’ve been kidnapped by psychos. I don’t know if that’s better than dying in the back hallway of a nightclub or not. Who the hell rescues someone from being beaten to within an inch of their life anddoesn’ttake them to a hospital? No, this chick brought me to a place where the “doc” apparently fucks his assistant-slash-nurse-slash-whatever-a-Kendrick-is right after patching me up.

Someone strokes my hair as I lie there contemplating making a run for it. I expect it to be Bunny again, but to my surprise I see Keys reaching over when I peek out of my right eye. The expression of genuine concern on his face is surprising. I’ve never met the guy that I know of.

“I know this is weird, but I promise you’re safe here.”

Weird doesn’t even begin to cover it.

Bunny stands and stretches her arms over her head. Her back arches, puffing out her chest, and I forget for a moment that I’m annoyed with these people. What does her shirt say? It’s got something written on it in marker, but without my glasses I can’t quite make it out.

“Well, I’m gonna go take a nap. It’s been a long night.” She looks to Keys, who’s still touching my head. “You coming with?”

“Nah. I’m gonna stay here for a bit, make sure this one doesn’t skip out on us before he’s better.” He winks at me and rolls the sucker in his mouth.

“’Kay.” Bunny shrugs again and leaves the room.

Awkward silence follows.

I wait somewhat impatiently for Keys to stop petting me and get bored with watching me not-sleep. Instead of stopping, though, he just kind of slows, almost like he’s hypnotizing himself with the gentle act. His lids drift low, hooding his eyes.

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