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Rowan puts it all back into the drawer he must have taken it from last night. “You’ve never seen a body, have you?”
“Only in pictures.”
“Let’s hope you never have to in person.”
Then it occurs to me that he might have been there, at the crime scenes where his uncles were slain. I wonder if he felt anything when he saw them, the people who raised him, dead that way.
As if he can read my thoughts, he answers me, “I’ve seen many people die in all sorts of ways. I’ve killed many myself.” He glances at me. “It doesn’t bother me.”
“Even though you loved them?”
He smirks. “There is nothing more horrific than the sight of someone you love lying dead. Even if they go fast. Even if you’re told it was peaceful. Even years later. It’s unbearable to see.”
I look from the desk to him. He was able to view his uncles with a sort of dispassion.
“Who died that you couldn’t bear to look at, Rowan?”
He reaches for the leather thong around his neck. “My mother.”
16
LOUISA
Rowan’s mother passed a few years after his arrival at his uncles’ house. She’d been diagnosed with colon cancer too late to do anything about it. He watched her wither away, turning into a corpse way before she actually died.
He told me all that once, but until now, I didn’t realize just how horrific it would have been for him to see his mother dead. I can’t even imagine what it would do to me to lose Mom, and I’m an adult. Rowan was a child.
“I’m sorry you went through that,” I say, surprising myself because I mean it.
His lips part as if he’s going to reply, but just then, Declan peeks in the door. He takes in the sight of the desk and all the things still scattered about and gives us a disapproving glare. It makes me wish he would’ve come in sooner and caught us in full action.
As if he can read my mind, he focuses that disapproval on me. “The luggage is clear.”
“Thanks,” Rowan tells him.
Declan inclines his head, his eyes still on me. After swinging the door fully open, he leaves.
“Guess he wants to make sure we don’t fuck in the study,” I note.
“I will fuck you anywhere I want.” Rowan stares out into the foyer. “An open door isn’t going to stop me.” From one of his desk drawers, he produces a box. “I have something for you.”
I take it from him. “A phone?”
“To replace the one you lost in the river.”
Attempting to hand it back to him, I say, “You don’t seriously believe I’d use this. It’s probably bugged.”
Rowan ignores the box. “It is. But I’ll feel better if you have it on you. My and your parents’ phone numbers are already programmed in.”
Rolling my eyes, I take the new cell out and do a quick examination, turning it on and scrolling through the contacts. Sure enough, there are three phone numbers in there. I slide it into my pocket. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Um, I’m going to freshen up.” Hopefully whoever packed my things was thoughtful enough to put some underwear in there.
If it was Art, he probably made sure to get my granny panties I wear during my period. If it was Daniel, he wouldn’t have gone near those drawers at all. Renzo… He’s the wildcard. Could have gone either way.
“I’ll come with you,” he offers.
