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“Also, your ability to cut a nice figure in a man’s T-shirt.”
“Is that so?”
“Can’t forget that you have impeccable hygiene. I like that in a woman.”“Painting a lovely picture of me, Paige.”
“Now, hold on.” Paige accidentally knocked her fork into her plate, clattering the two together in the kind of cacophony that rang between Rhea’s teeth. “I don’t think you understand what I put up with before I found you.”
“Found me? Where was I before we met? Lost?”
“You know how nothing existed before you were born? That’s how it often feels when I think about my life before we went on our first date.”
Rhea tilted her head, already forgetting her dinner. “Is that so? You flatter me.”
“Do you think I lie?”
“I think you overinflate my importance in your youth.”
Although Paige gasped, it was with a girlish grin on her face. “No way.”
“It’s true. I remember life before you pretty well. Things only start getting fuzzy when I try to conceptualize… well, life before my mom died.”
Paige was so far away in her own head now that she completely forgot both the food and the game. The only thing before her was Rhea, a woman who could be as mysterious now as she was fifteen years ago.You wouldn’t guess that by talking to her for a few minutes. She can be such an open book.It was one of the many things Paige loved about her future wife back then. There was no acting coy. No pretending to be someone she wasn’t. On their first date, Paige learned about Rhea’s childhood growing up in Malibu, her mother’s death, and the path she took to a Catholic boarding school that admitted her right before her junior year of high school. Paige’s childhood was so boring in comparison.No wonder I looked for ways to spice up my college years.She had searched for drama like a troubled kid searched for peace and sobriety.
“I don’t want to talk about the past, though.” Rhea was still focused on their evening activities in the lakeside house. “I was hoping this weekend could be more about our present. You know, where we are in our marriage right now. Maybe focusing on what we could be doing more or less. Like simply being… present.”
Shealmostended that sentiment with a question. Paige heard it as easily as she heard the rehearsed nature of her wife’s statement. “How much of this have you planned, exactly?” Paige went through the motions of taking her turn at the game, but she was more focused on the twitch of Rhea’s ear as if her wife had been waiting for something like that.
“I didn’t plan on anything.”
“That must be why everything feels faintly choreographed, all the way down to playing this game with this takeout in front of me.”
“If you think I knew what kind of board games they’d have in here, you’re crazy. I’m notthatperceptive.”
“Except you are planning something, right? Neither of us is super outdoorsy, nor did we bring the canoe holed up in our garage. This is a good canoeing lake. So…” Paige didn’t care if her food went cold while she grilled for the truth beneath her wife’s crumbling veneer. “What are you planning, Rhea? No sense in being dishonest with me. I can seerightthrough you whenever you start falling apart.”
“I’m not falling apart,” she said with a squeak.
Paige snorted. “All right…” Rhea tossed her hands into her lap as she sat back in her creaky wooden chair. “I was telling the truth when I said we could use a weekend away from home. Not to mention, neither of us cares for all the firework sounds, whether they’re legal or not.”
“Right.”
“But I also thought that this weekend was a great opportunity to reconnect. We’ve been doing well with the homework the therapist sends us home with… even if one of us likes to look ahead when she’s not supposed to.”
Paige wasn’t taking that bait. “So, this is about intimacy.”
“In a manner of speaking.”
Rhea’s sigh shook the table. However she was planning on segueing to the next topic… it wasn’t like this.She said it herself. I’m always sprinting ahead where I shouldn’t be.
“It’s been a while since we last had a blunt talk about what’s going on in our heads.” Rhea was dangerously close to winning the game, but Paige wasn’t inspired to become more ruthless. If anything, she was willing to let Rhea win if it meant keeping her placated. “When’s the last time we talked about our fantasies? When we first moved into our house?”
All right, so Paige wasn’t expectingthatsegue – and she was even more impressed that Rhea had gone there without blushing.I love her blushing, but she’s trying to be so put together right now.Paige was committed to being mature about this as well… no matter how easy it would be to poke at her wife’s penchant for turning pink whenever they addressed their real feeling about… anything.
“You mean sexual fantasies?”
“Are there any other kinds?”
Paige grinned. “I’d rather not talk aboutthosekinds.”
